poll: do you read the comments before, after, or neither?
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"
I realized just now that I usually do not read other people's comments before leaving my own, because I do not want to sway my response -- yet I often do read the comments before adding mine in places that aren't LJ. So I want to see if this is unusual, or if there is a discernible pattern to be found.
[Poll #2048714]
What aspects make someone's conversational style feel aggressive to you?
Usually it’s obvious things: people who get into avoidable, unnecessary arguments via comments, people pre-silencing a perfectly harmless opinion they don’t want to hear (“Anyone who says XYZ is a [insult goes here]”).
(This is different from saying “I disagree with XYZ”. It’s also different from getting tough with someone who’s crossed a line. And it’s different from setting necessary boundaries. It’s more like… indulging in conflict, enjoying getting negative reactions, having nil empathy.)
Sometimes it’s more subtle - you just get the feeling before you even say anything that you will have to defend yourself. :-/
Mostly I would not stay ‘friends’ with such a person - there would have to be some very good reason for wanting to read what they write. Lately I’m less tolerant of that stuff.