On the 8th my partner was off work, so we planned to go to the Etowah Mounds. My partner was a little iffy about it because it was due to pour down rain in the evening, but eventually I convinced zir that it wouldn't rain while we were there (because I know these things, and because weather.com said so), so off we went! It was glorious weather, hot but not blinding, overcast and cooled by liquid-wind. My wonderful partner drove while Aurilion and I sat in the back, and we listened to E.S. Posthumus, which is intensely meaningful music to all of us. Aurilion giggled silently for the longest time (ze could explain it far better, but as far as I understand, it is zir way of releasing/relaxing, almost like a more joyful sort of meditation).



( photos in Subway and on the way to the Mounds )

When we arrived, Aurilion and I went to the bathroom and my partner went into the visitor center, so we came in later than ze did. Right after I stepped inside, my partner asked the worker when the trees were cut down, and I thought ze meant that there used to be many more trees on the mound, so I said "there used to be more trees?" Then the worker started talking about the drought, and how one of the trees had fallen over, so they had been cut to preserve the mound. My heart stopped and I thought "Oh, God/dess, no, no..." Ze went on to explain how ze regretted it because some of the trees were hundreds of years old, and I didn't hear any more, just started walking toward the mounds, not even able to breathe, and then I saw the naked mound through the window and my eyes flooded... Oh God/dess. I could not speak, I just started walking as fast as I could toward the mound where the Elder tree had been, and I started crying, sobbing my eyes out, completely blinded by tears. I wasn't thinking anything except that I had to get there, I had to get there! I wept the whole way to the mound and up the billion shallow stairs, and when I got to the top I felt so disoriented, because the trees weren't there. I felt like I was offstep with the world. My partner came up to me and I sobbed out "where is it?" and ze took my hand, lead me to the stump and helped me down the mound so that I could touch it, sit with it. (Ze helped Aurilion down too and I could feel zir presence but I did not consciously realize it until afterward)

( this part is deeply sacred to me so, unless you can give it the utmost respect and suspend disbelief, please skip to the second bar and do not read )

After a little while, my partner saw someone walking out of the visitor center and urged Aurilion and me back up (since we weren't supposed to be climbing on the slopes). Then I hugged on Aurilion and we went and sat in the center of the mound for a time. Both my partner and Aurilion treated me with such care, not trying to make me stop crying or squelch any emotion, just being with me in the middle of it. I was so grateful for that ♥



( photos of the naked mound, the stump, and one from last year )

Then we made our way down the shallow steps and over to grove next to the river, and took many beautiful photos!



( river, trees, me, my partner, Aurilion! )

On the 8th my partner was off work, so we planned to go to the Etowah Mounds. My partner was a little iffy about it because it was due to pour down rain in the evening, but eventually I convinced zir that it wouldn't rain while we were there (because I know these things, and because weather.com said so), so off we went! It was glorious weather, hot but not blinding, overcast and cooled by liquid-wind. My wonderful partner drove while Aurilion and I sat in the back, and we listened to E.S. Posthumus, which is intensely meaningful music to all of us. Aurilion giggled silently for the longest time (ze could explain it far better, but as far as I understand, it is zir way of releasing/relaxing, almost like a more joyful sort of meditation).



( photos in Subway and on the way to the Mounds )

When we arrived, Aurilion and I went to the bathroom and my partner went into the visitor center, so we came in later than ze did. Right after I stepped inside, my partner asked the worker when the trees were cut down, and I thought ze meant that there used to be many more trees on the mound, so I said "there used to be more trees?" Then the worker started talking about the drought, and how one of the trees had fallen over, so they had been cut to preserve the mound. My heart stopped and I thought "Oh, God/dess, no, no..." Ze went on to explain how ze regretted it because some of the trees were hundreds of years old, and I didn't hear any more, just started walking toward the mounds, not even able to breathe, and then I saw the naked mound through the window and my eyes flooded... Oh God/dess. I could not speak, I just started walking as fast as I could toward the mound where the Elder tree had been, and I started crying, sobbing my eyes out, completely blinded by tears. I wasn't thinking anything except that I had to get there, I had to get there! I wept the whole way to the mound and up the billion shallow stairs, and when I got to the top I felt so disoriented, because the trees weren't there. I felt like I was offstep with the world. My partner came up to me and I sobbed out "where is it?" and ze took my hand, lead me to the stump and helped me down the mound so that I could touch it, sit with it. (Ze helped Aurilion down too and I could feel zir presence but I did not consciously realize it until afterward)

( this part is deeply sacred to me so, unless you can give it the utmost respect and suspend disbelief, please skip to the second bar and do not read )

After a little while, my partner saw someone walking out of the visitor center and urged Aurilion and me back up (since we weren't supposed to be climbing on the slopes). Then I hugged on Aurilion and we went and sat in the center of the mound for a time. Both my partner and Aurilion treated me with such care, not trying to make me stop crying or squelch any emotion, just being with me in the middle of it. I was so grateful for that ♥



( photos of the naked mound, the stump, and one from last year )

Then we made our way down the shallow steps and over to grove next to the river, and took many beautiful photos!



( river, trees, me, my partner, Aurilion! )

On the 8th my partner was off work, so we planned to go to the Etowah Mounds. My partner was a little iffy about it because it was due to pour down rain in the evening, but eventually I convinced zir that it wouldn't rain while we were there (because I know these things, and because weather.com said so), so off we went! It was glorious weather, hot but not blinding, overcast and cooled by liquid-wind. My wonderful partner drove while Aurilion and I sat in the back, and we listened to E.S. Posthumus, which is intensely meaningful music to all of us. Aurilion giggled silently for the longest time (ze could explain it far better, but as far as I understand, it is zir way of releasing/relaxing, almost like a more joyful sort of meditation).



( photos in Subway and on the way to the Mounds )

When we arrived, Aurilion and I went to the bathroom and my partner went into the visitor center, so we came in later than ze did. Right after I stepped inside, my partner asked the worker when the trees were cut down, and I thought ze meant that there used to be many more trees on the mound, so I said "there used to be more trees?" Then the worker started talking about the drought, and how one of the trees had fallen over, so they had been cut to preserve the mound. My heart stopped and I thought "Oh, God/dess, no, no..." Ze went on to explain how ze regretted it because some of the trees were hundreds of years old, and I didn't hear any more, just started walking toward the mounds, not even able to breathe, and then I saw the naked mound through the window and my eyes flooded... Oh God/dess. I could not speak, I just started walking as fast as I could toward the mound where the Elder tree had been, and I started crying, sobbing my eyes out, completely blinded by tears. I wasn't thinking anything except that I had to get there, I had to get there! I wept the whole way to the mound and up the billion shallow stairs, and when I got to the top I felt so disoriented, because the trees weren't there. I felt like I was offstep with the world. My partner came up to me and I sobbed out "where is it?" and ze took my hand, lead me to the stump and helped me down the mound so that I could touch it, sit with it. (Ze helped Aurilion down too and I could feel zir presence but I did not consciously realize it until afterward)

( this part is deeply sacred to me so, unless you can give it the utmost respect and suspend disbelief, please skip to the second bar and do not read )

After a little while, my partner saw someone walking out of the visitor center and urged Aurilion and me back up (since we weren't supposed to be climbing on the slopes). Then I hugged on Aurilion and we went and sat in the center of the mound for a time. Both my partner and Aurilion treated me with such care, not trying to make me stop crying or squelch any emotion, just being with me in the middle of it. I was so grateful for that ♥



( photos of the naked mound, the stump, and one from last year )

Then we made our way down the shallow steps and over to grove next to the river, and took many beautiful photos!



( river, trees, me, my partner, Aurilion! )

Aurilion arrives in 14 hours! holy fuck! and I haven't slept yet! I wanted to get this posted because I'll have a billion more to share once ze arrives!

These are from April 26th, when Nimajn and I went on a drive so that I could take in all the greeeeeeeeeeeeenery. As ze drove I snapped photos furiously and got positively high from all the delicious greens... I find it so deeply nourishing to gaze at them, and somehow my gaze is intensified through a camera lens. I can't describe exactly what it means to me to see the trees alight with emerald and peridot and a million other verdant jewels... so I'll have to show you my gleeful face. ;-)

this also matches my current mood at the fact that I will SEE AURILION IN 14 HOURS:



( a bunch of me )

( (mostly blurry) greenery )

Aurilion arrives in 14 hours! holy fuck! and I haven't slept yet! I wanted to get this posted because I'll have a billion more to share once ze arrives!

These are from April 26th, when Nimajn and I went on a drive so that I could take in all the greeeeeeeeeeeeenery. As ze drove I snapped photos furiously and got positively high from all the delicious greens... I find it so deeply nourishing to gaze at them, and somehow my gaze is intensified through a camera lens. I can't describe exactly what it means to me to see the trees alight with emerald and peridot and a million other verdant jewels... so I'll have to show you my gleeful face. ;-)

this also matches my current mood at the fact that I will SEE AURILION IN 14 HOURS:



( a bunch of me )

( (mostly blurry) greenery )

Aurilion arrives in 14 hours! holy fuck! and I haven't slept yet! I wanted to get this posted because I'll have a billion more to share once ze arrives!

These are from April 26th, when Nimajn and I went on a drive so that I could take in all the greeeeeeeeeeeeenery. As ze drove I snapped photos furiously and got positively high from all the delicious greens... I find it so deeply nourishing to gaze at them, and somehow my gaze is intensified through a camera lens. I can't describe exactly what it means to me to see the trees alight with emerald and peridot and a million other verdant jewels... so I'll have to show you my gleeful face. ;-)

this also matches my current mood at the fact that I will SEE AURILION IN 14 HOURS:



( a bunch of me )

( (mostly blurry) greenery )

I made armandii an earring set recently and couldn't resist taking photos in them (don't worry, I always clean them after). The jewelry pieces I make are my babies, I have such a hard time letting them go! ;-) Oh, and I started an etsy account -- don't have much up yet, but I'm planning on making a bunch of simple earrings because I think they'll sell better. This time I want to keep trying until it works. I made two pairs today, though they didn't turn out simple at all -- one took the better part of two hours and the other took one. *rolls eyes at self*

I have discovered Burt's Bees lip shimmer and my friends, I actually like it! I'm collecting all the colors :D I've always hated lip color because it tastes nasty and feels goopy on my lips, but this actually feels like lip gloss, very light, and tastes peppermint YUM! I usually blot, but I wanted intense colors here.



( no nudity, gasp faint )

I need an updated selfportraiture icon (new camera, longer hair) but I need another person and another camera for that, argh!

I made armandii an earring set recently and couldn't resist taking photos in them (don't worry, I always clean them after). The jewelry pieces I make are my babies, I have such a hard time letting them go! ;-) Oh, and I started an etsy account -- don't have much up yet, but I'm planning on making a bunch of simple earrings because I think they'll sell better. This time I want to keep trying until it works. I made two pairs today, though they didn't turn out simple at all -- one took the better part of two hours and the other took one. *rolls eyes at self*

I have discovered Burt's Bees lip shimmer and my friends, I actually like it! I'm collecting all the colors :D I've always hated lip color because it tastes nasty and feels goopy on my lips, but this actually feels like lip gloss, very light, and tastes peppermint YUM! I usually blot, but I wanted intense colors here.



( no nudity, gasp faint )

I need an updated selfportraiture icon (new camera, longer hair) but I need another person and another camera for that, argh!

I made armandii an earring set recently and couldn't resist taking photos in them (don't worry, I always clean them after). The jewelry pieces I make are my babies, I have such a hard time letting them go! ;-) Oh, and I started an etsy account -- don't have much up yet, but I'm planning on making a bunch of simple earrings because I think they'll sell better. This time I want to keep trying until it works. I made two pairs today, though they didn't turn out simple at all -- one took the better part of two hours and the other took one. *rolls eyes at self*

I have discovered Burt's Bees lip shimmer and my friends, I actually like it! I'm collecting all the colors :D I've always hated lip color because it tastes nasty and feels goopy on my lips, but this actually feels like lip gloss, very light, and tastes peppermint YUM! I usually blot, but I wanted intense colors here.



( no nudity, gasp faint )

I need an updated selfportraiture icon (new camera, longer hair) but I need another person and another camera for that, argh!

I've been meaning to share this since I took it in early January! It's not my favorite shoot (still getting used to using the timer, and don't have much space!) but I like it a good bit.

( nudity )

I've been meaning to share this since I took it in early January! It's not my favorite shoot (still getting used to using the timer, and don't have much space!) but I like it a good bit.

( nudity )

I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I realized I have a ton of jewelry photos I haven't shared from as far back as last August, so here goes. I so miss that heat!



( close-ups of my jewelry! )

( the self-portraits I took in them )

I'm always up for a new commission, so check out the different designs and let me know if you want to order something!

I realized I have a ton of jewelry photos I haven't shared from as far back as last August, so here goes. I so miss that heat!



( close-ups of my jewelry! )

( the self-portraits I took in them )

I'm always up for a new commission, so check out the different designs and let me know if you want to order something!

I realized I have a ton of jewelry photos I haven't shared from as far back as last August, so here goes. I so miss that heat!



( close-ups of my jewelry! )

( the self-portraits I took in them )

I'm always up for a new commission, so check out the different designs and let me know if you want to order something!

Friday I spent the day with SabR -- so much fun! We went shopping in downtown Athens and I looked at a lot of glass art, but the really lovely pieces were just too expensive and the decently priced stuff was nice but not in any of my colors. :-p So at the Native American store I picked up a green jasper egg (which had an amazing forest energy) and an opalite star for my altar, and a small thing for one of my Aquarian friends' birthday. ;-)

The strangest thing happened there -- Ashley just happened to come into the shop at the same time that we were there! For those of you who haven't been on my flist long, Ashley and SabR have negative history and pretty much hate each other. When Ashley called me over, I made awkward conversation with her (the tension between them was palpable) and then told her that I was there with SabR, which ended the conversation. I've never experienced that before and I would not care to experience it again! And it makes me wish humans were a little less civilized because I would much prefer open fighting to polite hatred. I'm not the sort of person who tries to break up a fight between adults (or equally matched children) because while it may not be the best way to resolve conflict, it's better than the alternative, in my mind. The police might not agree, heh.

Anyway, after that was over we went to see The Tree That Owns Itself (which is actually the scion of the original tree) and were disappointed at how young it was. (but I want to go back and see it again in the summer) The Magnolia across the street was HUGE and amazing, so we took more photos of that.

SabR took me to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants, which I liked (to my surprise, as I am very picky) and then we went back to her place and watched Prince of Egypt (which she had never seen! wtf!) and Knocked Up, which wasn't as bad as I had expected from everything people had said. ( ranting about the movie ) Oh, and Paul Rudd was BRILLIANT in that film. He's one of the handful of actors I wish I could meet.



( photos of SabR, me, trees, and Athens )

Friday I spent the day with SabR -- so much fun! We went shopping in downtown Athens and I looked at a lot of glass art, but the really lovely pieces were just too expensive and the decently priced stuff was nice but not in any of my colors. :-p So at the Native American store I picked up a green jasper egg (which had an amazing forest energy) and an opalite star for my altar, and a small thing for one of my Aquarian friends' birthday. ;-)

The strangest thing happened there -- Ashley just happened to come into the shop at the same time that we were there! For those of you who haven't been on my flist long, Ashley and SabR have negative history and pretty much hate each other. When Ashley called me over, I made awkward conversation with her (the tension between them was palpable) and then told her that I was there with SabR, which ended the conversation. I've never experienced that before and I would not care to experience it again! And it makes me wish humans were a little less civilized because I would much prefer open fighting to polite hatred. I'm not the sort of person who tries to break up a fight between adults (or equally matched children) because while it may not be the best way to resolve conflict, it's better than the alternative, in my mind. The police might not agree, heh.

Anyway, after that was over we went to see The Tree That Owns Itself (which is actually the scion of the original tree) and were disappointed at how young it was. (but I want to go back and see it again in the summer) The Magnolia across the street was HUGE and amazing, so we took more photos of that.

SabR took me to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants, which I liked (to my surprise, as I am very picky) and then we went back to her place and watched Prince of Egypt (which she had never seen! wtf!) and Knocked Up, which wasn't as bad as I had expected from everything people had said. ( ranting about the movie ) Oh, and Paul Rudd was BRILLIANT in that film. He's one of the handful of actors I wish I could meet.



( photos of SabR, me, trees, and Athens )

Friday I spent the day with SabR -- so much fun! We went shopping in downtown Athens and I looked at a lot of glass art, but the really lovely pieces were just too expensive and the decently priced stuff was nice but not in any of my colors. :-p So at the Native American store I picked up a green jasper egg (which had an amazing forest energy) and an opalite star for my altar, and a small thing for one of my Aquarian friends' birthday. ;-)

The strangest thing happened there -- Ashley just happened to come into the shop at the same time that we were there! For those of you who haven't been on my flist long, Ashley and SabR have negative history and pretty much hate each other. When Ashley called me over, I made awkward conversation with her (the tension between them was palpable) and then told her that I was there with SabR, which ended the conversation. I've never experienced that before and I would not care to experience it again! And it makes me wish humans were a little less civilized because I would much prefer open fighting to polite hatred. I'm not the sort of person who tries to break up a fight between adults (or equally matched children) because while it may not be the best way to resolve conflict, it's better than the alternative, in my mind. The police might not agree, heh.

Anyway, after that was over we went to see The Tree That Owns Itself (which is actually the scion of the original tree) and were disappointed at how young it was. (but I want to go back and see it again in the summer) The Magnolia across the street was HUGE and amazing, so we took more photos of that.

SabR took me to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants, which I liked (to my surprise, as I am very picky) and then we went back to her place and watched Prince of Egypt (which she had never seen! wtf!) and Knocked Up, which wasn't as bad as I had expected from everything people had said. ( ranting about the movie ) Oh, and Paul Rudd was BRILLIANT in that film. He's one of the handful of actors I wish I could meet.



( photos of SabR, me, trees, and Athens )

( reflections on my pages-long 'identity' post )

LJ idol has been such an adventure already! There are 156 contestants (I pity the mods for having to work out a voting system on that) and nearly HALF of them posted their response to this week's topic ('my favorite childhood memory') in the FIRST DAY! Crazy. I thought all creative people were procrastinators, heh. And I am anxious to get mine done because 1) I want to read others' entries and I'm not letting myself until mine is written, and 2) I want to be read! and 3) I have a good idea of how I want to compose my entry.

BTW, do any of you compose entries in your head when you're not even at the computer? Often -- I'd say the majority of the time -- my posts have been written and re-written in my head before I ever sit to type. (I'm such an LJ addict. and perfectionist.)

My participation in this thing is odd 'cause I don't believe in one-on-one competition (as opposed to team competition), ESPECIALLY in the realm of art. I think the only way to really judge art is to judge how much of hirself the artist poured in, and there's no way to accurately measure that. So I'm trying to ignore the judging/voting aspect, but I want to stay in, so I still want alla y'all to vote for me, heh. *giggles* And there are so many amazing writers -- I have no idea how anyone would manage to vote. There were at LEAST 20 posts that I admired/enjoyed very much, and pretty much equally. I expect to be eliminated fairly early, but I plan to continue posting on the topics and voting.



( just three this time )

( reflections on my pages-long 'identity' post )

LJ idol has been such an adventure already! There are 156 contestants (I pity the mods for having to work out a voting system on that) and nearly HALF of them posted their response to this week's topic ('my favorite childhood memory') in the FIRST DAY! Crazy. I thought all creative people were procrastinators, heh. And I am anxious to get mine done because 1) I want to read others' entries and I'm not letting myself until mine is written, and 2) I want to be read! and 3) I have a good idea of how I want to compose my entry.

BTW, do any of you compose entries in your head when you're not even at the computer? Often -- I'd say the majority of the time -- my posts have been written and re-written in my head before I ever sit to type. (I'm such an LJ addict. and perfectionist.)

My participation in this thing is odd 'cause I don't believe in one-on-one competition (as opposed to team competition), ESPECIALLY in the realm of art. I think the only way to really judge art is to judge how much of hirself the artist poured in, and there's no way to accurately measure that. So I'm trying to ignore the judging/voting aspect, but I want to stay in, so I still want alla y'all to vote for me, heh. *giggles* And there are so many amazing writers -- I have no idea how anyone would manage to vote. There were at LEAST 20 posts that I admired/enjoyed very much, and pretty much equally. I expect to be eliminated fairly early, but I plan to continue posting on the topics and voting.



( just three this time )

( reflections on my pages-long 'identity' post )

LJ idol has been such an adventure already! There are 156 contestants (I pity the mods for having to work out a voting system on that) and nearly HALF of them posted their response to this week's topic ('my favorite childhood memory') in the FIRST DAY! Crazy. I thought all creative people were procrastinators, heh. And I am anxious to get mine done because 1) I want to read others' entries and I'm not letting myself until mine is written, and 2) I want to be read! and 3) I have a good idea of how I want to compose my entry.

BTW, do any of you compose entries in your head when you're not even at the computer? Often -- I'd say the majority of the time -- my posts have been written and re-written in my head before I ever sit to type. (I'm such an LJ addict. and perfectionist.)

My participation in this thing is odd 'cause I don't believe in one-on-one competition (as opposed to team competition), ESPECIALLY in the realm of art. I think the only way to really judge art is to judge how much of hirself the artist poured in, and there's no way to accurately measure that. So I'm trying to ignore the judging/voting aspect, but I want to stay in, so I still want alla y'all to vote for me, heh. *giggles* And there are so many amazing writers -- I have no idea how anyone would manage to vote. There were at LEAST 20 posts that I admired/enjoyed very much, and pretty much equally. I expect to be eliminated fairly early, but I plan to continue posting on the topics and voting.



( just three this time )

A few weeks ago I was at Ben's fam's house for his/elya's birthday party, and after the festivities died down I happened to go in the garage for something and saw RAINBOWS from the glass in the garage windows -- so I took a million photos. I cannot resist rainbows -- they are still magic to me. *love sparkle glitter beauty* and also, queer pride yes! :D I need to make myself some rainbow jewelry.

The song doesn't really have to do with the photos, artistically, but it just seemed to fit so I used the lyrics as captions. ;-)

( video: Rainbowarriors by CocoRosie )

of all the white horses...
In these times of evil spirits
Of material thugs and mischief
Fear Saint Noni's wisdom
And his love for rainbow spirits
Jealous of their faithful heart-bond
And their dancing and their laughing
Made at last a league against them
To molest them and destroy them
Saint Noni wise and heart-strong
Often said to Rainbowarrior
"O my brother do not leave me!
Lest the evil spirits harm you!"



( the photos! )

A few weeks ago I was at Ben's fam's house for his/elya's birthday party, and after the festivities died down I happened to go in the garage for something and saw RAINBOWS from the glass in the garage windows -- so I took a million photos. I cannot resist rainbows -- they are still magic to me. *love sparkle glitter beauty* and also, queer pride yes! :D I need to make myself some rainbow jewelry.

The song doesn't really have to do with the photos, artistically, but it just seemed to fit so I used the lyrics as captions. ;-)

( video: Rainbowarriors by CocoRosie )

of all the white horses...
In these times of evil spirits
Of material thugs and mischief
Fear Saint Noni's wisdom
And his love for rainbow spirits
Jealous of their faithful heart-bond
And their dancing and their laughing
Made at last a league against them
To molest them and destroy them
Saint Noni wise and heart-strong
Often said to Rainbowarrior
"O my brother do not leave me!
Lest the evil spirits harm you!"



( the photos! )

A few weeks ago I was at Ben's fam's house for his/elya's birthday party, and after the festivities died down I happened to go in the garage for something and saw RAINBOWS from the glass in the garage windows -- so I took a million photos. I cannot resist rainbows -- they are still magic to me. *love sparkle glitter beauty* and also, queer pride yes! :D I need to make myself some rainbow jewelry.

The song doesn't really have to do with the photos, artistically, but it just seemed to fit so I used the lyrics as captions. ;-)

( video: Rainbowarriors by CocoRosie )

of all the white horses...
In these times of evil spirits
Of material thugs and mischief
Fear Saint Noni's wisdom
And his love for rainbow spirits
Jealous of their faithful heart-bond
And their dancing and their laughing
Made at last a league against them
To molest them and destroy them
Saint Noni wise and heart-strong
Often said to Rainbowarrior
"O my brother do not leave me!
Lest the evil spirits harm you!"



( the photos! )

one of the first photos taken with my NEW Sony Cybershot DSC-W80!!! I loooooooooooove her!

( me and Spydra -- and raving about her awesome features! )

About a year ago, I stopped going to Liberty because of an argument I had with the pastor. After a week or two, the co-pastors of the service I went to sent me a card saying they missed me, and then two weeks after that, sent me a plant (along with another card). I was very touched by the fact that they noticed my absence and went to such trouble to reach out to me (and I wondered if pastor Beth had told them, since she was around during the argument). I kept the plant, and it slowly became symbolic for me. It seemed to wax and wane according to the health of my spirit (probably because when I was spiritually low I never remembered to water it). So now I think of it as my 'spirituality plant.'

I had been meaning to re-pot it for ages, and finally got the pot and soil day before yesterday. In the bottom of the pot you're supposed to put stones or something to allow for better drainage, so I looked around for something to put in and saw these five stones that someone in my support group (from 2 years ago) had given me, with words on them -- 'peace,' 'you are beautiful' -- etc. They seemed ridiculously appropriate so I put them in along with some glass beads that I probably wouldn't use. When I tapped the plant loose from its old pot, there was almost no soil left! it was all roots! and they were so thick! I have no idea how that plant managed to stay so healthy with no nutrients. Loosening the roots took strong pulls because they were so tangled. I've replanted quite a bit thanks to my mom, but I've never seen roots so hard to separate.

It all seemed very symbolic of me -- I've outgrown my old 'pot' and have been living in too small a world, for so long that my roots have gotten tangled up with each other and I have run out of nutrients. By exploring new churches, making renewed effort with friends, and starting this women's group, I'm untangling and stretching out my roots to be nourished again. You should see how happy that plant looks in its new pot!


( me and my spirituality plant )

one of the first photos taken with my NEW Sony Cybershot DSC-W80!!! I loooooooooooove her!

( me and Spydra -- and raving about her awesome features! )

About a year ago, I stopped going to Liberty because of an argument I had with the pastor. After a week or two, the co-pastors of the service I went to sent me a card saying they missed me, and then two weeks after that, sent me a plant (along with another card). I was very touched by the fact that they noticed my absence and went to such trouble to reach out to me (and I wondered if pastor Beth had told them, since she was around during the argument). I kept the plant, and it slowly became symbolic for me. It seemed to wax and wane according to the health of my spirit (probably because when I was spiritually low I never remembered to water it). So now I think of it as my 'spirituality plant.'

I had been meaning to re-pot it for ages, and finally got the pot and soil day before yesterday. In the bottom of the pot you're supposed to put stones or something to allow for better drainage, so I looked around for something to put in and saw these five stones that someone in my support group (from 2 years ago) had given me, with words on them -- 'peace,' 'you are beautiful' -- etc. They seemed ridiculously appropriate so I put them in along with some glass beads that I probably wouldn't use. When I tapped the plant loose from its old pot, there was almost no soil left! it was all roots! and they were so thick! I have no idea how that plant managed to stay so healthy with no nutrients. Loosening the roots took strong pulls because they were so tangled. I've replanted quite a bit thanks to my mom, but I've never seen roots so hard to separate.

It all seemed very symbolic of me -- I've outgrown my old 'pot' and have been living in too small a world, for so long that my roots have gotten tangled up with each other and I have run out of nutrients. By exploring new churches, making renewed effort with friends, and starting this women's group, I'm untangling and stretching out my roots to be nourished again. You should see how happy that plant looks in its new pot!


( me and my spirituality plant )

one of the first photos taken with my NEW Sony Cybershot DSC-W80!!! I loooooooooooove her!

( me and Spydra -- and raving about her awesome features! )

About a year ago, I stopped going to Liberty because of an argument I had with the pastor. After a week or two, the co-pastors of the service I went to sent me a card saying they missed me, and then two weeks after that, sent me a plant (along with another card). I was very touched by the fact that they noticed my absence and went to such trouble to reach out to me (and I wondered if pastor Beth had told them, since she was around during the argument). I kept the plant, and it slowly became symbolic for me. It seemed to wax and wane according to the health of my spirit (probably because when I was spiritually low I never remembered to water it). So now I think of it as my 'spirituality plant.'

I had been meaning to re-pot it for ages, and finally got the pot and soil day before yesterday. In the bottom of the pot you're supposed to put stones or something to allow for better drainage, so I looked around for something to put in and saw these five stones that someone in my support group (from 2 years ago) had given me, with words on them -- 'peace,' 'you are beautiful' -- etc. They seemed ridiculously appropriate so I put them in along with some glass beads that I probably wouldn't use. When I tapped the plant loose from its old pot, there was almost no soil left! it was all roots! and they were so thick! I have no idea how that plant managed to stay so healthy with no nutrients. Loosening the roots took strong pulls because they were so tangled. I've replanted quite a bit thanks to my mom, but I've never seen roots so hard to separate.

It all seemed very symbolic of me -- I've outgrown my old 'pot' and have been living in too small a world, for so long that my roots have gotten tangled up with each other and I have run out of nutrients. By exploring new churches, making renewed effort with friends, and starting this women's group, I'm untangling and stretching out my roots to be nourished again. You should see how happy that plant looks in its new pot!


( me and my spirituality plant )

Saturday we had planned to go to the Etowah Mounds, but we didn't get much sleep the morning before and Hannah didn't have the energy to go, so my partner and I went without her, and it was absolutely incredible. I believe it was meant to be that way, because if she had gone, I would have been very caught up in spending time with her and wouldn't have experienced it the same way (and she needed the sleep). I also feel like being with her this past week was a kind of catalyst for us both and we wouldn't have experienced it as deeply had she not been here.

We sat and listened to a man talk about the history of the major Native American tribes (including how some were matriarchal) and play a beautiful song on the flute, and then a group of Native Americans taught us about the different types of dance, and demonstrated... the music went straight to my blood and filled me up... ohhh I love drums. (and I learned that I prefer the deeper, southern style of singing rather than the higher northern style)



( photos of the drumming and dancing )

Afterward, I sat on the edge of the 'borrow pit' and gazed at the massive tree growing from the bed of it -- how old the pit must be to have such an Elder growing there! -- and my partner spoke with the flute player. My partner's part Seminole but has never really explored his heritage -- I was so thrilled that he spoke so openly about it, and thrilled that he wanted to buy the CD of flute music. It's such a huge step in openness -- I can't even express how amazed I am, how happy. I've felt like he had this amazing present, but he never even took the wrapping off -- and I would have opened it as soon as my baby hands could manage it, and worn it like a crown ever after. Even though it's not something I can share, I know it's such a big part of who he is, and I am so excited that he is finally opening up to it. I think this was a exuviating experience for him -- no, I know it. He's letting me post photos of him without him having to approve them first!

( photo )

Then we walked to the largest mound, and up the many shallow steps... and I lost my breath, partly because I'm out of shape and partly because I was overwhelmed by the spirit of the place. I was immediately drawn to a massive tree on the side of the mound, my God/dess, it was so amazing -- I have tears in my eyes at the memory. I sat near and spoke quietly to it as my partner walked away around the edge of the mound, and just drank in its presence... when my partner came back I said that I wished I could touch it, and so he insisted on helping me down to it (I have a fear of heights and not much faith in my own balance). When I touched its bark, I felt such a strong rush of warmth! I've had only one experience even remotely like it, and that was 8 years ago... this was such a profoundly spiritual experience; I feel like it confirms my connection with trees. I can't put it into words, it was so amazing -- in that one second, everything shifted. I feel like everything I believe became more real, more alive. (and I realized that I've never met a tree as old as that one -- all the trees I have met have been young) My partner took some photos of the moment (which I am so grateful for), and then helped me back up to the top.

We wandered around and I saw several more amazing trees (including one with a faery house!), but none like that one. I feel like I left a little piece of my heart with it, and I can feel the tug of that connection. ♥ How can life be so amazing? (God/dess, I love you, thank you for this life, thank you for the beauty and the love you put in everything ♥ ♥ ♥) And there was a river nearby! Such an amazing, incredible, fascinating place -- I felt honored to walk the ground there. I definitely must go back (and next time I must wear sunscreen).



( many lovely photos )

Saturday we had planned to go to the Etowah Mounds, but we didn't get much sleep the morning before and Hannah didn't have the energy to go, so my partner and I went without her, and it was absolutely incredible. I believe it was meant to be that way, because if she had gone, I would have been very caught up in spending time with her and wouldn't have experienced it the same way (and she needed the sleep). I also feel like being with her this past week was a kind of catalyst for us both and we wouldn't have experienced it as deeply had she not been here.

We sat and listened to a man talk about the history of the major Native American tribes (including how some were matriarchal) and play a beautiful song on the flute, and then a group of Native Americans taught us about the different types of dance, and demonstrated... the music went straight to my blood and filled me up... ohhh I love drums. (and I learned that I prefer the deeper, southern style of singing rather than the higher northern style)



( photos of the drumming and dancing )

Afterward, I sat on the edge of the 'borrow pit' and gazed at the massive tree growing from the bed of it -- how old the pit must be to have such an Elder growing there! -- and my partner spoke with the flute player. My partner's part Seminole but has never really explored his heritage -- I was so thrilled that he spoke so openly about it, and thrilled that he wanted to buy the CD of flute music. It's such a huge step in openness -- I can't even express how amazed I am, how happy. I've felt like he had this amazing present, but he never even took the wrapping off -- and I would have opened it as soon as my baby hands could manage it, and worn it like a crown ever after. Even though it's not something I can share, I know it's such a big part of who he is, and I am so excited that he is finally opening up to it. I think this was a exuviating experience for him -- no, I know it. He's letting me post photos of him without him having to approve them first!

( photo )

Then we walked to the largest mound, and up the many shallow steps... and I lost my breath, partly because I'm out of shape and partly because I was overwhelmed by the spirit of the place. I was immediately drawn to a massive tree on the side of the mound, my God/dess, it was so amazing -- I have tears in my eyes at the memory. I sat near and spoke quietly to it as my partner walked away around the edge of the mound, and just drank in its presence... when my partner came back I said that I wished I could touch it, and so he insisted on helping me down to it (I have a fear of heights and not much faith in my own balance). When I touched its bark, I felt such a strong rush of warmth! I've had only one experience even remotely like it, and that was 8 years ago... this was such a profoundly spiritual experience; I feel like it confirms my connection with trees. I can't put it into words, it was so amazing -- in that one second, everything shifted. I feel like everything I believe became more real, more alive. (and I realized that I've never met a tree as old as that one -- all the trees I have met have been young) My partner took some photos of the moment (which I am so grateful for), and then helped me back up to the top.

We wandered around and I saw several more amazing trees (including one with a faery house!), but none like that one. I feel like I left a little piece of my heart with it, and I can feel the tug of that connection. ♥ How can life be so amazing? (God/dess, I love you, thank you for this life, thank you for the beauty and the love you put in everything ♥ ♥ ♥) And there was a river nearby! Such an amazing, incredible, fascinating place -- I felt honored to walk the ground there. I definitely must go back (and next time I must wear sunscreen).



( many lovely photos )

Saturday we had planned to go to the Etowah Mounds, but we didn't get much sleep the morning before and Hannah didn't have the energy to go, so my partner and I went without her, and it was absolutely incredible. I believe it was meant to be that way, because if she had gone, I would have been very caught up in spending time with her and wouldn't have experienced it the same way (and she needed the sleep). I also feel like being with her this past week was a kind of catalyst for us both and we wouldn't have experienced it as deeply had she not been here.

We sat and listened to a man talk about the history of the major Native American tribes (including how some were matriarchal) and play a beautiful song on the flute, and then a group of Native Americans taught us about the different types of dance, and demonstrated... the music went straight to my blood and filled me up... ohhh I love drums. (and I learned that I prefer the deeper, southern style of singing rather than the higher northern style)



( photos of the drumming and dancing )

Afterward, I sat on the edge of the 'borrow pit' and gazed at the massive tree growing from the bed of it -- how old the pit must be to have such an Elder growing there! -- and my partner spoke with the flute player. My partner's part Seminole but has never really explored his heritage -- I was so thrilled that he spoke so openly about it, and thrilled that he wanted to buy the CD of flute music. It's such a huge step in openness -- I can't even express how amazed I am, how happy. I've felt like he had this amazing present, but he never even took the wrapping off -- and I would have opened it as soon as my baby hands could manage it, and worn it like a crown ever after. Even though it's not something I can share, I know it's such a big part of who he is, and I am so excited that he is finally opening up to it. I think this was a exuviating experience for him -- no, I know it. He's letting me post photos of him without him having to approve them first!

( photo )

Then we walked to the largest mound, and up the many shallow steps... and I lost my breath, partly because I'm out of shape and partly because I was overwhelmed by the spirit of the place. I was immediately drawn to a massive tree on the side of the mound, my God/dess, it was so amazing -- I have tears in my eyes at the memory. I sat near and spoke quietly to it as my partner walked away around the edge of the mound, and just drank in its presence... when my partner came back I said that I wished I could touch it, and so he insisted on helping me down to it (I have a fear of heights and not much faith in my own balance). When I touched its bark, I felt such a strong rush of warmth! I've had only one experience even remotely like it, and that was 8 years ago... this was such a profoundly spiritual experience; I feel like it confirms my connection with trees. I can't put it into words, it was so amazing -- in that one second, everything shifted. I feel like everything I believe became more real, more alive. (and I realized that I've never met a tree as old as that one -- all the trees I have met have been young) My partner took some photos of the moment (which I am so grateful for), and then helped me back up to the top.

We wandered around and I saw several more amazing trees (including one with a faery house!), but none like that one. I feel like I left a little piece of my heart with it, and I can feel the tug of that connection. ♥ How can life be so amazing? (God/dess, I love you, thank you for this life, thank you for the beauty and the love you put in everything ♥ ♥ ♥) And there was a river nearby! Such an amazing, incredible, fascinating place -- I felt honored to walk the ground there. I definitely must go back (and next time I must wear sunscreen).



( many lovely photos )

since Hannah's going to BE HERE in 13 hours (!!!) I'm going to post a bunch of recent stuff to clear the way for new stuff. I'm quite proud of some of these self-portraits.



( leafshadow portraits )

( tree honor )

( 'The Kaylene' in Berries for roina_arwen )

( four from two days ago )

since Hannah's going to BE HERE in 13 hours (!!!) I'm going to post a bunch of recent stuff to clear the way for new stuff. I'm quite proud of some of these self-portraits.



( leafshadow portraits )

( tree honor )

( 'The Kaylene' in Berries for roina_arwen )

( four from two days ago )

since Hannah's going to BE HERE in 13 hours (!!!) I'm going to post a bunch of recent stuff to clear the way for new stuff. I'm quite proud of some of these self-portraits.



( leafshadow portraits )

( tree honor )

( 'The Kaylene' in Berries for roina_arwen )

( four from two days ago )

I'm sharing part of a series of nude self-portraits I took back in March. I'm very very pleased with how they came out.

( artistic nudity )