(from here)
do you currently have any spiritual practices? are you developing any in particular at the moment? have you abandoned any recently?
Yes. Art, self-reflection, meditation, energy work, spell-writing, etc... I'm sort of developing a few: trying to get back into meditating at least weekly, and sending energy to Hannah daily. I haven't abandoned any recently.

what rituals in each phase did you connect with the most?
The ritual that was the most useful for me as a teen was reading the bible for 15 minutes every morning right when I woke up. It worked as a sort of psychic shield that blocked out the overwhelming, chaotic, negative energy of other teens around me.

the least?
Mostly I didn't participate in rituals that didn't mean anything to me. The only one I did was communion, and I think I mostly did that out of defiance (because people put rules on it and I felt God wouldn't). I never felt like there was any magic to the wafers and grape juice. Had we all torn off a piece of bread that was passed around, I would have felt that was magical (and still would, as microbe sharing is a sacred act to me).

have holidays ever held any spiritual meaning for you?
I never cared about any except Christmas, which meant lights, presents, and people making more effort to be kind to each other. I thought about Jesus all year long as a kid, so it wasn't a religious holiday to me. I did like that people treated me with more respect around christmas because they started feeling guilty about how devout I was and they weren't.

has that changed at all as you've grown?
yes. I learned what winter Solstice was and the lights, presents, and kindness transferred right over to a holiday that was far more suited to what I actually wanted to celebrate (the return of the sun). I will attend christmas celebrations with Topaz' family but it is Solstice that is my holiday, my sacred time.

I was intrigued by the fact that when I asked y'all about winter holidays, you mentioned thanksgiving. (many thanks for the answers, btw!) I hadn't thought of it as a winter holiday, but I suppose it is. I loathe thanksgiving; I didn't like it as a child because it meant eating food I didn't really like (the only thing I ever liked was the mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie) and doing a shitton of dishes, all for no particular reason, followed by people doing frenzied shopping. I didn't know then that it was based on a whitewashing racist lie, and when I found out the extent to which it was a lie I hated it more. It's fucking awful and shouldn't exist. But I go to Topaz's family gather because I want to show the family that I care about them and my presence at this food sharing day is a way that they can understand that.

I used to love christmas, but even though I was very christian as a child, I didn't associate it with Jesus (and I never believed in Santa as my parents didn't want to teach me a lie, and I never approved of any white american childhood myths except the tooth fairy). What I love is the fairy lights and giving spirit -- it is a capitalist holiday to be sure, but it is also a time when people do try harder than other times to be kind to each other, if they are given to kindness to begin with. I find light and color to be magical and seeing many people participate in sharing colorful light with each other is enchanting to me. I am glad that christmas exists because of this.

Christmas was important to me until I realized what Solstice was, and then all of my feeling for christmas transferred over to Solstice. The day the light begins to return -- there is really nothing more magical to me. Not only do I have SAD which is set off by dark days and cold, but I also worship light as the most tangible form of magic. I celebrate with lights, a decorated tree (living in a pot), presents, and connection with people I love. I love love love that so many of my favorite people have spent the past few solstices with me. I like that there is a nearby holiday that is NOT on my holiday because that means I don't have to work around people's familial obligations, but I still get to revel in all the reflected excitement from others at the same time.

In 2011 Kylei and I hosted Solstice, and it was amazing and cozy and magical and Adi made eggnog and there was a giant cuddle puddle. In 2012 Kylei and I hosted again and it was wonderful and there were fairy lights EVERYWHERE. Last year was my favorite so far -- I hosted and made a gigantic pot of spaghetti sauce (one of my 3 dishes that I am super good at making) and fed EVERYONE and people spent the night and had breakfast in the morning and it had the biggest cuddle puddle ever and a long game of truth-or-truth and I had such excellent presents for people. This year I think it will be even better, because I am closer to many of the people who are coming and they are closer to each other. Also, I won't have any newbies to babysit -- I liked that Aurilion came last year but it split my focus because I was so worried about them having no one but me that they knew, and also worried because they were not someone I could trust to know to ask people before touching, or value a different opinion as equal to their own. I didn't even realize this was a thing until the celebration had begun, which makes me realize how fucking lucky I am in my friendships: that's something I usually don't have to worry about. My house agreements are something I usually share with everyone before they come over but it just didn't occur to me that I might need to go over them with someone I already felt close to. Also I feel happy that Topaz will be able to more fully participate since it's at their house and they won't have to deal with terrible allergies or be sober due to a future drive.

Giving gifts is very important to me. I want to get people things that will have personal meaning to them, that will show them I know them and value who they are. My ideal gift for someone is something that is meaningful to them AND me, that is tailored to them yet something I would also enjoy owning (this is hard to find!). There is a little bit of sacrifice in my best gifts. I like receiving gifts but I like giving them more. If I could give each person something that would make them feel known and loved, I would be happy getting no gifts (as long as people assured me that it wasn't because they didn't care, because being left out stinks). It used to be that if I couldn't find you the perfect gift, you got nothing -- now I tend to try to find some consumable that the person will like, because I like that better.

I don't care much about New Years for myself, but it is very important to Kylei and Abby and thus has significance by proxy -- I like to celebrate with Kylei and Abby in whatever way feels best for them.

Solstice was amazing -- definitely the best of my life. Topaz, Aurilion, Abby, Heather (& Brian), Kylei, Camellia, Jude, Roger, Allison (& Whitney), Locke, and myself made 13, perfect, delighted me. I was really happy to have everyone there and really happy to give presents. I got SO excited watching people open them, it was ridic, also Topaz flew across the room to hug me at one present and Abby got reality-broken by one so I felt extremely accomplished, and I felt reflected happiness from everyone I got/made gifts for so that was wonderful. And I made superfood pasta sauce and lots of people loved it <3 It made me feel so good to be able to feed people, I wish I could do that more often but it's expensive so I can't.

I still can't believe that Aurilion came to visit! we talked so much and mended all this old stuff, untangled all these old questions and assumptions. One thing was that near the end of our romantic relationship, there were a few months where we talked for like 2 hours almost every day and neither of us were happy about it but we didn't say so. I felt like an unpaid therapist and Aurilion felt like ze was giving all this openness and I wasn't giving any back. It's sort of astonishing and embarrassing to look back and see how easily that could have been resolved if I had just been blunt (I remember trying to express what I wanted but tiptoeing so much it didn't get through). Also it made me realize that somewhere along the way I lost the habit of openness. I stopped looking into myself to find things to share. I think maybe it happened last year (2012) because I feel like I spent that entire year silent, and mourning that no one sought me. I feel loved when people ask me interesting and prying questions in a way that shows they are looking at my thought process and I feel unloved when I share and get little to no response, or the person redirects the conversation to their own experience/thoughts. To avoid feeling unloved I stopped sharing. And I realized this but it's hard to change conversational habits alone. It was really fascinating and lovely to see how, once I realized that the voluble flow of words from Aurilion came with the expectation that I would share in the same way (instead of, as I thought, the expectation that I would just listen and engage with zir shares), I could reflect on my experiences and find interesting things to share. I still want people to ask me questions, but I also want to practice unprompted sharing again, and just be conscious of when it is not nourishing to do so, so that I don't get drained.

I really enjoyed the time I spent with Aurilion and it happened at a perfect time but I really hope that ze can visit again at a time that isn't so full of other things because I'd like to enter into the connection more. There was so much going on this time. But the biggest block to zir visiting has been overcome so hopefully there will be a smaller lag this time ;-) I really loved seeing zir interact with the people I love and they all enjoyed each others' company a lot too.

Also, Aurilion and I kissed a few times, and when I talked with Topaz about it ze reacted without worry or even surprise (the first time had surprised me as I had absolutely no expectations of what would happen!). I feel more confident that we can move forward together now, and I feel less stressed about the shift into me being more poly again. Also Topaz and I have been having the most amazing sex ever and I feel excited and fulfilled.

Also Topaz' parents spoiled me ridiculously much with Christmas presents; I cried. I have never been so thoughtfully treated at the holidays. My parents got me stuff I didn't want most of the time, stuff that said they didn't know me at all (M kept getting me perfume, which I hate, and FLORAL perfume at that! UGH, like a slap in the face. And I got no presents once I 'betrayed' the family by forcing them to do something about the abuse in it). My in-laws made me feel like an outsider (they have an only-blood-is-real-family kind of mindset). I spent so many years wanting to feel included and seen, and though I certainly got that from my tribe, I never got it from 'family' but Topaz' family treats me like I belong. The biggest thing was that it felt genuine, not just a 'well you're here so we gotta get you something so it doesn't seem like a snub.' They acted like it was no big deal and I think to them it really wasn't, they just included me without thinking hard about it, but it was a big damn deal to me. I wrote them a card and sent it in the mail.

So I had the worst Christmas of my life (crying almost all day in rage and pain over the ex) BUT there was an incredibly beautiful gift that helped me get through it ♥ Ash had the amazing idea of contacting quite a few of my friends and asking them to send images that ze could use to make ornaments for me. Ze and S gave me little hints for like a week, and then the day before Christmas Eve, S lugged a tree up the stairs and they decorated it with the printed-out images and awesome ornaments made by Nikki from recycled (♥!) Christmas cards and various lovely little bits. Ash hasn't forwarded the emails yet so I am not sure who all participated, but S gave me two little black cats (in honor of 'Nika, whom ze refers to as "devil cat"), Anna sent me three GORGEOUS glass angel ornaments, Shel made a DARLING little felt star, Kate sent in a photo of zirself standing in the snow holding a Merry Christmas sign (eeeee!!!!!), Kay sent in three photos of zirself (eye, hands-in-a-heart, and face with a little sign that said "James!"), Kelley sent a photo of zirself making a hands-in-a-heart sign, and I know that SabR, Angie, Jess, Jen, Deb, Celina, Karen, Gayle, Anika, and several others participated but I am not sure who sent what. When I get the emails I will probably post the images ;-) Also Celina and Jen and Anna sent me Christmas cards ♥ I was so so so so touched by the idea and by all the people who participated, thank you so so so much loves. I so needed that and I will treasure my little handmade (and hand-chosen) ornaments forever! ♥ Also S is going to take the tree to be made into mulch later which makes me happier, no waste ♥ You are all so wonderful and I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE you, thank you so much ♥ *kisses*

Oh, and lil sis gave me an AMAZING delicate antique-looking metal pipe which has a decoration that looks like Cthulhu (to me) which I so totally intend to use, a glass leaf pendant (which I wear backwards to show off the swirly green), and pretty little paper scrolls. I love love love how those gifts are all so me! Oh, and the bioparents sent me some money so I bought myself Radiohead's "The Bends" and Dolores O'Riordan's "No Baggage" and Aqualung's "Strange and Beautiful" from the used CD store (pretty awesome finds, especially the new Dolores album!) :D

So I had the worst Christmas of my life (crying almost all day in rage and pain over the ex) BUT there was an incredibly beautiful gift that helped me get through it ♥ Ash had the amazing idea of contacting quite a few of my friends and asking them to send images that ze could use to make ornaments for me. Ze and S gave me little hints for like a week, and then the day before Christmas Eve, S lugged a tree up the stairs and they decorated it with the printed-out images and awesome ornaments made by Nikki from recycled (♥!) Christmas cards and various lovely little bits. Ash hasn't forwarded the emails yet so I am not sure who all participated, but S gave me two little black cats (in honor of 'Nika, whom ze refers to as "devil cat"), Anna sent me three GORGEOUS glass angel ornaments, Shel made a DARLING little felt star, Kate sent in a photo of zirself standing in the snow holding a Merry Christmas sign (eeeee!!!!!), Kay sent in three photos of zirself (eye, hands-in-a-heart, and face with a little sign that said "James!"), Kelley sent a photo of zirself making a hands-in-a-heart sign, and I know that SabR, Angie, Jess, Jen, Deb, Celina, Karen, Gayle, Anika, and several others participated but I am not sure who sent what. When I get the emails I will probably post the images ;-) Also Celina and Jen and Anna sent me Christmas cards ♥ I was so so so so touched by the idea and by all the people who participated, thank you so so so much loves. I so needed that and I will treasure my little handmade (and hand-chosen) ornaments forever! ♥ Also S is going to take the tree to be made into mulch later which makes me happier, no waste ♥ You are all so wonderful and I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE you, thank you so much ♥ *kisses*

Oh, and lil sis gave me an AMAZING delicate antique-looking metal pipe which has a decoration that looks like Cthulhu (to me) which I so totally intend to use, a glass leaf pendant (which I wear backwards to show off the swirly green), and pretty little paper scrolls. I love love love how those gifts are all so me! Oh, and the bioparents sent me some money so I bought myself Radiohead's "The Bends" and Dolores O'Riordan's "No Baggage" and Aqualung's "Strange and Beautiful" from the used CD store (pretty awesome finds, especially the new Dolores album!) :D

This has been a really awful, AWFUL week. I've been very sick (my throat was so swollen at one point that just trying to swallow a little water made me throw up, and it's sometimes been hard to breathe) and I very rarely get sick and tend to get really emotional about it anyway. And it was bad enough that I went to the doctor and then got medicine, which made me financially stressed because I've been trying to stay within the limit that my ex set as far as money goes, but that added a significant burden.

And my ex wanted the rest of my stuff out this week because zir girlfriend is moving in, so Friday Ash and S helped me gather it (thank God/dess for them because I couldn't have handled it alone). There was a cabinet full of wedding stuff and love letters and all the journals I wrote which were about 70% about the ex... and the journal I made for the ex which ze then dedicated to me and wrote to me in (which I took because ze doesn't give a shit or want any reminders of me). ( And it really hit me that we are actually over. )

Then today my ex calls me up and says "Happy Anniversary" because today would have been our 6th wedding anniversary. HOW FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE. And seriously, ze REALLY doesn't give a shit about 'losing' me because if ze did, there'd be at least a LITTLE sting to that for zir, right? It wouldn't be all haha-lollerskates. Then we talk about money (because that's the real point of every conversation we have) and ze starts telling me ( all kinds of negative, hurtful bullshit ) But in a way it's nice that ze's gone back on the seemingly-genuine apologies for being totally absent in my life and treating me like a nonentity, because now I know ze hasn't really changed and ze is not really offering everything I ever wanted to someone else.

( I really wish I'd fucked up more or given less effort )

I'm really angry. and heart-broken. and lonely. and in so much pain. It hurts to realize that I really have no one I can turn to for comfort, no one who I can trust to hold a safe space for me (I do have kind friends and that helps, but it's not the same as walking through the fire with me). Ze was never there for me anyway (I know that sounds like an exaggeration but it isn't), but I maintained the illusion that ze was and now even that is gone. I feel really hopeless and disconnected from life -- it feels like there is no promise, no glow. Winter is getting to me. Christmas is usually the bright spot in my winter, the joy that makes the dead season bearable -- but I have no money for a tree and no ability to get presents (and this would be the first time I didn't have to mail them all), so I feel like Christmas isn't coming for me this year. Right now it feels like there is nothing but grey and cold and loneliness stretching ahead of me.

This has been a really awful, AWFUL week. I've been very sick (my throat was so swollen at one point that just trying to swallow a little water made me throw up, and it's sometimes been hard to breathe) and I very rarely get sick and tend to get really emotional about it anyway. And it was bad enough that I went to the doctor and then got medicine, which made me financially stressed because I've been trying to stay within the limit that my ex set as far as money goes, but that added a significant burden.

And my ex wanted the rest of my stuff out this week because zir girlfriend is moving in, so Friday Ash and S helped me gather it (thank God/dess for them because I couldn't have handled it alone). There was a cabinet full of wedding stuff and love letters and all the journals I wrote which were about 70% about the ex... and the journal I made for the ex which ze then dedicated to me and wrote to me in (which I took because ze doesn't give a shit or want any reminders of me). ( And it really hit me that we are actually over. )

Then today my ex calls me up and says "Happy Anniversary" because today would have been our 6th wedding anniversary. HOW FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE. And seriously, ze REALLY doesn't give a shit about 'losing' me because if ze did, there'd be at least a LITTLE sting to that for zir, right? It wouldn't be all haha-lollerskates. Then we talk about money (because that's the real point of every conversation we have) and ze starts telling me ( all kinds of negative, hurtful bullshit ) But in a way it's nice that ze's gone back on the seemingly-genuine apologies for being totally absent in my life and treating me like a nonentity, because now I know ze hasn't really changed and ze is not really offering everything I ever wanted to someone else.

( I really wish I'd fucked up more or given less effort )

I'm really angry. and heart-broken. and lonely. and in so much pain. It hurts to realize that I really have no one I can turn to for comfort, no one who I can trust to hold a safe space for me (I do have kind friends and that helps, but it's not the same as walking through the fire with me). Ze was never there for me anyway (I know that sounds like an exaggeration but it isn't), but I maintained the illusion that ze was and now even that is gone. I feel really hopeless and disconnected from life -- it feels like there is no promise, no glow. Winter is getting to me. Christmas is usually the bright spot in my winter, the joy that makes the dead season bearable -- but I have no money for a tree and no ability to get presents (and this would be the first time I didn't have to mail them all), so I feel like Christmas isn't coming for me this year. Right now it feels like there is nothing but grey and cold and loneliness stretching ahead of me.

Hello beautiful beautiful people! *hugs whole flist*

I feel like I hit rock bottom and pushed off, and now I'm finally rising towards the surface. It feels really wonderful to be looking up instead of helplessly staring at my feet as I sink further and further. It wasn't anything I did; it was the love given to me by so many people, in so many ways. Megan especially -- she kept reaching out even though I was late and little in my responses. Thank you lovey ♥ You've been such a positive force in my life!

My Christmas was less than sparkly overall ( ... ) One very sparkly point was the dream I had while sleeping my cramps away. It was my Christmas present from God/dess; the vivid, spiritually-real kind. ♥ It gave me so much hope and joy -- I'll post it after this. Now if I could only interpret it!

Two days after Christmas I had a fantastic day. I dropped my partner at work so I could have the car, and went to meet a new friend (who found me on craigslist) at a coffeehouse. Amber is bouncy and outgoing -- I think we're going to get along famously. We talked for a good long while and it felt so comfortable! I've met several new people in the past few months, some of whom I got along really well with but none with whom I felt soo comfortable. I really like to be around people who have a higher energy than me -- I love all types, of course, but when I have no higher-energy people in my life I really miss it.

Later that day I wrestled my partner into going to see Enchanted with me in the theatre (he thinks only action movies should be seen on the big screen *pah*) and we LOVED it! My partner actually laughed out loud which he hardly ever does -- he usually laughs in this 'heh heh' kind of way, not 'ha ha ha!' I love his laugh ;-) The beginning is almost painfully ironic, mocking the syrupy-sweetness of the 'classic' disney films. There's also some subtler feminist irony which I REALLY loved, and one incredible curvy-positive moment that almost made me cry. See it!

Then as we were leaving my partner spotted his old friend Thiago, whom we haven't seen in AGES! It was so incredibly meant to be -- if we had left a little earlier or a little later we would have missed him. Thiago is this absolutely amazing guy; I can't put into words what it is about him, as I don't even know him that well, but I really love him. He's one of the most respectful people I have ever met -- he has a deep respect for every person as themselves, and that just radiates from him. You know he would respect a prostitute, a politician, a pastor, or a child equally (or at least, I feel so) -- and he's one of the very few guys I've met who gives me the impression that he respects women as much as men. When we walked up to him he was with several other people, and he put out his hand as my partner walked over to greet another guy (my partner didn't notice his hand out) -- I laughed and said "I'll shake your hand!" and put my hand in his, and he turned to me and gave me a hug. I was just beaming -- this guy feels like a spiritual brother to me. Just before we left Thiago hugged me again, and I must have just been glowing with happiness. He was so genuine! Genuine physical affection is absolutely the most wonderful thing to me -- those two hugs meant SO much. ♥ ♥ ♥

And this amazing day wasn't over (it lasted over 25 hours :D)! After my partner went to bed, I got on gtalk in the mood to chat for the first time in AGES (usually I just pop in long enough to check my email) and had the most AMAZING conversation with mourningdoveava! I friended him in August and we've had quite a few commentations, but never a real-time conversation before. We talked for over SEVEN HOURS overall, about so many things, and it felt like such a short time! We're so alike it's insane. No, really! I thought Hannah and I were alike, but I think Ava and I have even MORE in common! It blows my mind to the point where I have a hard time believing he's real. *pinches him*

I'm using my super-extremely-very-uper-duper awesome new icon right now despite it's irrelevance because I am totally in love with it. Yay self-adoration! :D I have more to say *overflows* but I will put it in other posts! I am so... fertile right now! yum, rain. :D

Hello beautiful beautiful people! *hugs whole flist*

I feel like I hit rock bottom and pushed off, and now I'm finally rising towards the surface. It feels really wonderful to be looking up instead of helplessly staring at my feet as I sink further and further. It wasn't anything I did; it was the love given to me by so many people, in so many ways. Megan especially -- she kept reaching out even though I was late and little in my responses. Thank you lovey ♥ You've been such a positive force in my life!

My Christmas was less than sparkly overall ( ... ) One very sparkly point was the dream I had while sleeping my cramps away. It was my Christmas present from God/dess; the vivid, spiritually-real kind. ♥ It gave me so much hope and joy -- I'll post it after this. Now if I could only interpret it!

Two days after Christmas I had a fantastic day. I dropped my partner at work so I could have the car, and went to meet a new friend (who found me on craigslist) at a coffeehouse. Amber is bouncy and outgoing -- I think we're going to get along famously. We talked for a good long while and it felt so comfortable! I've met several new people in the past few months, some of whom I got along really well with but none with whom I felt soo comfortable. I really like to be around people who have a higher energy than me -- I love all types, of course, but when I have no higher-energy people in my life I really miss it.

Later that day I wrestled my partner into going to see Enchanted with me in the theatre (he thinks only action movies should be seen on the big screen *pah*) and we LOVED it! My partner actually laughed out loud which he hardly ever does -- he usually laughs in this 'heh heh' kind of way, not 'ha ha ha!' I love his laugh ;-) The beginning is almost painfully ironic, mocking the syrupy-sweetness of the 'classic' disney films. There's also some subtler feminist irony which I REALLY loved, and one incredible curvy-positive moment that almost made me cry. See it!

Then as we were leaving my partner spotted his old friend Thiago, whom we haven't seen in AGES! It was so incredibly meant to be -- if we had left a little earlier or a little later we would have missed him. Thiago is this absolutely amazing guy; I can't put into words what it is about him, as I don't even know him that well, but I really love him. He's one of the most respectful people I have ever met -- he has a deep respect for every person as themselves, and that just radiates from him. You know he would respect a prostitute, a politician, a pastor, or a child equally (or at least, I feel so) -- and he's one of the very few guys I've met who gives me the impression that he respects women as much as men. When we walked up to him he was with several other people, and he put out his hand as my partner walked over to greet another guy (my partner didn't notice his hand out) -- I laughed and said "I'll shake your hand!" and put my hand in his, and he turned to me and gave me a hug. I was just beaming -- this guy feels like a spiritual brother to me. Just before we left Thiago hugged me again, and I must have just been glowing with happiness. He was so genuine! Genuine physical affection is absolutely the most wonderful thing to me -- those two hugs meant SO much. ♥ ♥ ♥

And this amazing day wasn't over (it lasted over 25 hours :D)! After my partner went to bed, I got on gtalk in the mood to chat for the first time in AGES (usually I just pop in long enough to check my email) and had the most AMAZING conversation with mourningdoveava! I friended him in August and we've had quite a few commentations, but never a real-time conversation before. We talked for over SEVEN HOURS overall, about so many things, and it felt like such a short time! We're so alike it's insane. No, really! I thought Hannah and I were alike, but I think Ava and I have even MORE in common! It blows my mind to the point where I have a hard time believing he's real. *pinches him*

I'm using my super-extremely-very-uper-duper awesome new icon right now despite it's irrelevance because I am totally in love with it. Yay self-adoration! :D I have more to say *overflows* but I will put it in other posts! I am so... fertile right now! yum, rain. :D

Hello beautiful beautiful people! *hugs whole flist*

I feel like I hit rock bottom and pushed off, and now I'm finally rising towards the surface. It feels really wonderful to be looking up instead of helplessly staring at my feet as I sink further and further. It wasn't anything I did; it was the love given to me by so many people, in so many ways. Megan especially -- she kept reaching out even though I was late and little in my responses. Thank you lovey ♥ You've been such a positive force in my life!

My Christmas was less than sparkly overall ( ... ) One very sparkly point was the dream I had while sleeping my cramps away. It was my Christmas present from God/dess; the vivid, spiritually-real kind. ♥ It gave me so much hope and joy -- I'll post it after this. Now if I could only interpret it!

Two days after Christmas I had a fantastic day. I dropped my partner at work so I could have the car, and went to meet a new friend (who found me on craigslist) at a coffeehouse. Amber is bouncy and outgoing -- I think we're going to get along famously. We talked for a good long while and it felt so comfortable! I've met several new people in the past few months, some of whom I got along really well with but none with whom I felt soo comfortable. I really like to be around people who have a higher energy than me -- I love all types, of course, but when I have no higher-energy people in my life I really miss it.

Later that day I wrestled my partner into going to see Enchanted with me in the theatre (he thinks only action movies should be seen on the big screen *pah*) and we LOVED it! My partner actually laughed out loud which he hardly ever does -- he usually laughs in this 'heh heh' kind of way, not 'ha ha ha!' I love his laugh ;-) The beginning is almost painfully ironic, mocking the syrupy-sweetness of the 'classic' disney films. There's also some subtler feminist irony which I REALLY loved, and one incredible curvy-positive moment that almost made me cry. See it!

Then as we were leaving my partner spotted his old friend Thiago, whom we haven't seen in AGES! It was so incredibly meant to be -- if we had left a little earlier or a little later we would have missed him. Thiago is this absolutely amazing guy; I can't put into words what it is about him, as I don't even know him that well, but I really love him. He's one of the most respectful people I have ever met -- he has a deep respect for every person as themselves, and that just radiates from him. You know he would respect a prostitute, a politician, a pastor, or a child equally (or at least, I feel so) -- and he's one of the very few guys I've met who gives me the impression that he respects women as much as men. When we walked up to him he was with several other people, and he put out his hand as my partner walked over to greet another guy (my partner didn't notice his hand out) -- I laughed and said "I'll shake your hand!" and put my hand in his, and he turned to me and gave me a hug. I was just beaming -- this guy feels like a spiritual brother to me. Just before we left Thiago hugged me again, and I must have just been glowing with happiness. He was so genuine! Genuine physical affection is absolutely the most wonderful thing to me -- those two hugs meant SO much. ♥ ♥ ♥

And this amazing day wasn't over (it lasted over 25 hours :D)! After my partner went to bed, I got on gtalk in the mood to chat for the first time in AGES (usually I just pop in long enough to check my email) and had the most AMAZING conversation with mourningdoveava! I friended him in August and we've had quite a few commentations, but never a real-time conversation before. We talked for over SEVEN HOURS overall, about so many things, and it felt like such a short time! We're so alike it's insane. No, really! I thought Hannah and I were alike, but I think Ava and I have even MORE in common! It blows my mind to the point where I have a hard time believing he's real. *pinches him*

I'm using my super-extremely-very-uper-duper awesome new icon right now despite it's irrelevance because I am totally in love with it. Yay self-adoration! :D I have more to say *overflows* but I will put it in other posts! I am so... fertile right now! yum, rain. :D

Ben and I went out to our favorite Mexican restaurant this weekend and as usual the food was fantastic and the service was amazing. Even though they were very busy, the waiter kept up with us very well. And my mouth is watering thinking of the food! Somehow it tasted yummier than usual. Anyway, the greatest part was when we went to pay and the owner (I know his name but I can't remember it right now) told us that it was his treat, Merry Christmas! :D :D :D I thought that was so very wonderful! I was just absolutely beaming. (we made sure to tip anyway, of course) Yay for kind & generous people using Christmas as a reason to be even more kind and generous. ♥

and speaking of giving Christmas cheer, I finally have most of my presents wrapped but none of them are shipped and some of them haven't even gotten to ME yet (I like to buy online), so they're all going to be late. It's my way of extending the holidays. *snicker*

Also! A million belated thanks to roina_arwen for the delicious mint chocolate cookies -- you're quite the baker! -- and the lovely notebook! Many many thanks to little_ph0enix for
Daughters of Isis & Initiation -- I can't wait to read them! I've entered an Egypt phase, it seems, as I started (re)reading the Ramses series last week. Thanks for the fresh additions to my knowledge bank! And thanks to sunshinepill for the gorgeous polaroid -- now I have one of your originals. *glee* Don't worry, I will keep it even when you get famous and I could make a killing off of it. :D Thanks also to bluebl00d and bornbeautiful for the cards! You're all so wonderful to me I could just explode.

Ben and I went out to our favorite Mexican restaurant this weekend and as usual the food was fantastic and the service was amazing. Even though they were very busy, the waiter kept up with us very well. And my mouth is watering thinking of the food! Somehow it tasted yummier than usual. Anyway, the greatest part was when we went to pay and the owner (I know his name but I can't remember it right now) told us that it was his treat, Merry Christmas! :D :D :D I thought that was so very wonderful! I was just absolutely beaming. (we made sure to tip anyway, of course) Yay for kind & generous people using Christmas as a reason to be even more kind and generous. ♥

and speaking of giving Christmas cheer, I finally have most of my presents wrapped but none of them are shipped and some of them haven't even gotten to ME yet (I like to buy online), so they're all going to be late. It's my way of extending the holidays. *snicker*

Also! A million belated thanks to roina_arwen for the delicious mint chocolate cookies -- you're quite the baker! -- and the lovely notebook! Many many thanks to little_ph0enix for
Daughters of Isis & Initiation -- I can't wait to read them! I've entered an Egypt phase, it seems, as I started (re)reading the Ramses series last week. Thanks for the fresh additions to my knowledge bank! And thanks to sunshinepill for the gorgeous polaroid -- now I have one of your originals. *glee* Don't worry, I will keep it even when you get famous and I could make a killing off of it. :D Thanks also to bluebl00d and bornbeautiful for the cards! You're all so wonderful to me I could just explode.

Ben and I went out to our favorite Mexican restaurant this weekend and as usual the food was fantastic and the service was amazing. Even though they were very busy, the waiter kept up with us very well. And my mouth is watering thinking of the food! Somehow it tasted yummier than usual. Anyway, the greatest part was when we went to pay and the owner (I know his name but I can't remember it right now) told us that it was his treat, Merry Christmas! :D :D :D I thought that was so very wonderful! I was just absolutely beaming. (we made sure to tip anyway, of course) Yay for kind & generous people using Christmas as a reason to be even more kind and generous. ♥

and speaking of giving Christmas cheer, I finally have most of my presents wrapped but none of them are shipped and some of them haven't even gotten to ME yet (I like to buy online), so they're all going to be late. It's my way of extending the holidays. *snicker*

Also! A million belated thanks to roina_arwen for the delicious mint chocolate cookies -- you're quite the baker! -- and the lovely notebook! Many many thanks to little_ph0enix for
Daughters of Isis & Initiation -- I can't wait to read them! I've entered an Egypt phase, it seems, as I started (re)reading the Ramses series last week. Thanks for the fresh additions to my knowledge bank! And thanks to sunshinepill for the gorgeous polaroid -- now I have one of your originals. *glee* Don't worry, I will keep it even when you get famous and I could make a killing off of it. :D Thanks also to bluebl00d and bornbeautiful for the cards! You're all so wonderful to me I could just explode.

I LOVE giving gifts! But I'm very particular about how I do it, and if I can't find the right gift I'd rather give nothing at all (and when I do give, my gifts are often late because I didn't find the gift in time, or couldn't afford it in time). To me, the perfect gift is something that the person would enjoy (of course), that represents an intersection of our interests -- especially something that we both like that is unusual. If we have little in common, I'll get something that represents a passion of theirs, or something that represents their personality to me. So if I don't know a person very well, or they have very particular taste, then I usually won't be able to get them anything. Sometimes I'll be brave and make a guess though.

And I love giving Christmas presents! I LOVE Christmas, not because of the ties to Christianity (though I like those too) but because it is the time of year when SO MANY people make extra effort to be kind to one another. People smile a little more and are more generous. They not only buy gifts for those they know and love, but they donate to make sure that less fortunate people will get a taste of the magic, and they give small acts of kindness to strangers. A few days ago, there was a two-hour chain of Starbucks customers who paid for the coffee of the person behind them in line! That sort of generosity thrills me! And people all over the place (in the US anyway) put up beautiful sparkly lights to decorate their houses and give joy to passers-by. Every time I see a house all lit up with colorful lights, I feel like I am living in a truly magical world, a world of joyful people who want to celebrate love and share with others. That's my favorite part, really -- the feeling that everyone I meet is connected by this celebration of giving. That's what Christmas means to me -- joy through giving.

I have most of my Christmas presents purchased now (yay me! some of them might actually arrive on time!), but there are a few VERY IMPORTANT people whom I just CANNOT figure out what to get! If you have a wishlist online anywhere, please make sure I have it. If it isn't listed there, drop me a link please! If you DON'T have a wishlist, please tell me what genres of things you like. Don't worry, I'm not going to feel obligated to get what you list, whether wishlist or genre-list. I never feel obligated; that's the great thing about preferring bluntness to politeness :D Here's my list, so you can see what I mean: ( clickity click )

On a related note, I really don't understand why people get all het up over others wishing them a happy holiday-they-don't-celebrate. If I celebrate something, then my happy wishes are going to be connected to that! I would be happy if someone wished me Happy Hanukkah or Cheerful Kwanzaa or Joyful Ramadan, even though I don't celebrate them. The point is, that person is sharing their joy with me, and I welcome it -- what does it matter what label it wears? joy is joy!

*merry Christmas dance*

I LOVE giving gifts! But I'm very particular about how I do it, and if I can't find the right gift I'd rather give nothing at all (and when I do give, my gifts are often late because I didn't find the gift in time, or couldn't afford it in time). To me, the perfect gift is something that the person would enjoy (of course), that represents an intersection of our interests -- especially something that we both like that is unusual. If we have little in common, I'll get something that represents a passion of theirs, or something that represents their personality to me. So if I don't know a person very well, or they have very particular taste, then I usually won't be able to get them anything. Sometimes I'll be brave and make a guess though.

And I love giving Christmas presents! I LOVE Christmas, not because of the ties to Christianity (though I like those too) but because it is the time of year when SO MANY people make extra effort to be kind to one another. People smile a little more and are more generous. They not only buy gifts for those they know and love, but they donate to make sure that less fortunate people will get a taste of the magic, and they give small acts of kindness to strangers. A few days ago, there was a two-hour chain of Starbucks customers who paid for the coffee of the person behind them in line! That sort of generosity thrills me! And people all over the place (in the US anyway) put up beautiful sparkly lights to decorate their houses and give joy to passers-by. Every time I see a house all lit up with colorful lights, I feel like I am living in a truly magical world, a world of joyful people who want to celebrate love and share with others. That's my favorite part, really -- the feeling that everyone I meet is connected by this celebration of giving. That's what Christmas means to me -- joy through giving.

I have most of my Christmas presents purchased now (yay me! some of them might actually arrive on time!), but there are a few VERY IMPORTANT people whom I just CANNOT figure out what to get! If you have a wishlist online anywhere, please make sure I have it. If it isn't listed there, drop me a link please! If you DON'T have a wishlist, please tell me what genres of things you like. Don't worry, I'm not going to feel obligated to get what you list, whether wishlist or genre-list. I never feel obligated; that's the great thing about preferring bluntness to politeness :D Here's my list, so you can see what I mean: ( clickity click )

On a related note, I really don't understand why people get all het up over others wishing them a happy holiday-they-don't-celebrate. If I celebrate something, then my happy wishes are going to be connected to that! I would be happy if someone wished me Happy Hanukkah or Cheerful Kwanzaa or Joyful Ramadan, even though I don't celebrate them. The point is, that person is sharing their joy with me, and I welcome it -- what does it matter what label it wears? joy is joy!

*merry Christmas dance*

I LOVE giving gifts! But I'm very particular about how I do it, and if I can't find the right gift I'd rather give nothing at all (and when I do give, my gifts are often late because I didn't find the gift in time, or couldn't afford it in time). To me, the perfect gift is something that the person would enjoy (of course), that represents an intersection of our interests -- especially something that we both like that is unusual. If we have little in common, I'll get something that represents a passion of theirs, or something that represents their personality to me. So if I don't know a person very well, or they have very particular taste, then I usually won't be able to get them anything. Sometimes I'll be brave and make a guess though.

And I love giving Christmas presents! I LOVE Christmas, not because of the ties to Christianity (though I like those too) but because it is the time of year when SO MANY people make extra effort to be kind to one another. People smile a little more and are more generous. They not only buy gifts for those they know and love, but they donate to make sure that less fortunate people will get a taste of the magic, and they give small acts of kindness to strangers. A few days ago, there was a two-hour chain of Starbucks customers who paid for the coffee of the person behind them in line! That sort of generosity thrills me! And people all over the place (in the US anyway) put up beautiful sparkly lights to decorate their houses and give joy to passers-by. Every time I see a house all lit up with colorful lights, I feel like I am living in a truly magical world, a world of joyful people who want to celebrate love and share with others. That's my favorite part, really -- the feeling that everyone I meet is connected by this celebration of giving. That's what Christmas means to me -- joy through giving.

I have most of my Christmas presents purchased now (yay me! some of them might actually arrive on time!), but there are a few VERY IMPORTANT people whom I just CANNOT figure out what to get! If you have a wishlist online anywhere, please make sure I have it. If it isn't listed there, drop me a link please! If you DON'T have a wishlist, please tell me what genres of things you like. Don't worry, I'm not going to feel obligated to get what you list, whether wishlist or genre-list. I never feel obligated; that's the great thing about preferring bluntness to politeness :D Here's my list, so you can see what I mean: ( clickity click )

On a related note, I really don't understand why people get all het up over others wishing them a happy holiday-they-don't-celebrate. If I celebrate something, then my happy wishes are going to be connected to that! I would be happy if someone wished me Happy Hanukkah or Cheerful Kwanzaa or Joyful Ramadan, even though I don't celebrate them. The point is, that person is sharing their joy with me, and I welcome it -- what does it matter what label it wears? joy is joy!

*merry Christmas dance*

Christmas 2006

magic! ♥

( more photos )

and my loot! XD I am still so thrilled about this ♥ ♥ ♥ Oh what the hell, I'll "show not tell":

( my miraculous presents! )

why miraculous? because Miss K gave me (and my partner) credit at a used book store as a present, and we went there day after Christmas and they had the LAST THREE Torey Hayden books, the only ones I didn't have!!!!!!!! 'coincidences' like this are why it's easy for me to believe in God/dess and the power of the unseen. just holy wonder, seriously. I exclaimed over the miracle and my partner was all 'yeah that's great' but Miss K agreed with me as I gushed over how fabulous her present was. Miracles don't have to save someone's life, sometimes they're just God/dess's way of showing you love.

( more presents! )

I love love love used books. If they cost the same I'd still prefer a used book over a new one. Used ones have a history, and if they're a powerful book then they have absorbed the emotion of another reader, which heightens my own emotion in reading it. I feel like I am experiencing the book along with the former reader. And if they're old in addition to being used, they have that old book smell that is an emotional aphrodisiac to any bibliophile. The only way I ever buy a new book is if I can't find a used copy or I need it in a tearing hurry. Or if I'm getting it as a present for someone who doesn't feel the same way about used books, heh.

Christmas 2006

magic! ♥

( more photos )

and my loot! XD I am still so thrilled about this ♥ ♥ ♥ Oh what the hell, I'll "show not tell":

( my miraculous presents! )

why miraculous? because Miss K gave me (and my partner) credit at a used book store as a present, and we went there day after Christmas and they had the LAST THREE Torey Hayden books, the only ones I didn't have!!!!!!!! 'coincidences' like this are why it's easy for me to believe in God/dess and the power of the unseen. just holy wonder, seriously. I exclaimed over the miracle and my partner was all 'yeah that's great' but Miss K agreed with me as I gushed over how fabulous her present was. Miracles don't have to save someone's life, sometimes they're just God/dess's way of showing you love.

( more presents! )

I love love love used books. If they cost the same I'd still prefer a used book over a new one. Used ones have a history, and if they're a powerful book then they have absorbed the emotion of another reader, which heightens my own emotion in reading it. I feel like I am experiencing the book along with the former reader. And if they're old in addition to being used, they have that old book smell that is an emotional aphrodisiac to any bibliophile. The only way I ever buy a new book is if I can't find a used copy or I need it in a tearing hurry. Or if I'm getting it as a present for someone who doesn't feel the same way about used books, heh.

Christmas 2006

magic! ♥

( more photos )

and my loot! XD I am still so thrilled about this ♥ ♥ ♥ Oh what the hell, I'll "show not tell":

( my miraculous presents! )

why miraculous? because Miss K gave me (and my partner) credit at a used book store as a present, and we went there day after Christmas and they had the LAST THREE Torey Hayden books, the only ones I didn't have!!!!!!!! 'coincidences' like this are why it's easy for me to believe in God/dess and the power of the unseen. just holy wonder, seriously. I exclaimed over the miracle and my partner was all 'yeah that's great' but Miss K agreed with me as I gushed over how fabulous her present was. Miracles don't have to save someone's life, sometimes they're just God/dess's way of showing you love.

( more presents! )

I love love love used books. If they cost the same I'd still prefer a used book over a new one. Used ones have a history, and if they're a powerful book then they have absorbed the emotion of another reader, which heightens my own emotion in reading it. I feel like I am experiencing the book along with the former reader. And if they're old in addition to being used, they have that old book smell that is an emotional aphrodisiac to any bibliophile. The only way I ever buy a new book is if I can't find a used copy or I need it in a tearing hurry. Or if I'm getting it as a present for someone who doesn't feel the same way about used books, heh.

This is my Christmas thank-you post. ♥ I have SO. MANY. beautiful people in my life. I am the most blessed person ever, really. I need to look at my blessings more often because DAYUM!

Oh how much I love you. If I could bottle my love it would easily replace electricity all over the world for a day. When I really think about it, I get filled with so much energy that it makes me want to SCREAM! just to let it out. I need more outlets for my love, really. You all live too damn far away for me to be able to pour into your lives. I think maybe I should start visiting the local nursing home... My family always did that at Christmas time, and I totally forgot this year. That was probably my favorite thing about my family... and the last time I did it I felt God so close. And now I am actually confident enough to believe that they really would want me to visit, which means that I could even do it without the excuse of Christmas. hmm.

I have no idea of the order that these arrived in, so I'm going to go randomly through them:
Thank you wallbrat and 12thknight for the paidaccount gifts!
Thank you darling boobiequeen for the photo that I've been wanting for over a year! It's on my wall, and you can see proof in the photos further down in this post. ;-)
aubkabob, dahling, thank you ever so for the card, it made me giggle in true Aubka fashion. ;-D
camilleyun, you are so incredibly utterly kind, I loooooved getting your PURPLE christmas card with such sweet words. Thank you thank you -- I am so glad I get to know you better.
eternitywaiting, OMFG yo, you are AMAZINK! I was worried when I got the package, because I suspected it was jewelry and I don't usually like to get jewelry as presents 'cause I am teh jewelry snob artist -- but I should have known. eeeeeeeee PURPLE eeeeeeeeeeeeee DRAGONFLY!!!!! You wonderful wonderful lovely darling! And I loved it already, but then I realized that the shards in the wings are DICHROIC GLASS. Dichroic glass is to Bel what candy is to a 3-year-old -- !!! Thank you! *many kisses*
( photos of the necklace/earrings )

valynn!!! You just stunned me with your generosity and especially with including Ben! He was feeling left out with all of my friends sending me stuff while he got no mail, and your lovely thoughtful gift card really made him happy. ThankyouX80million!!!
darkpool, wow. You made me feel SO LOVED!!!!! Everything was so perfect and so suited me! I love the bottles, they went straight into my sanctuary, along with the candle holders. And the book will DEFINITELY come in handy, yay! and the note that came along with it just made everything 10 times as meaningful. I love that you got me the bookmark because you relate me with vibrancy. ♥ You blew me away. AND THE GYPSY KEYRING!!! wow. I think you hit just about every love of mine. ♥
( a photo of darkpool's presents )

maladroitkat, do you know how many times I picked up that book and almost bought it? At least four times! I suppose it was meant to be a gift from you to me, and I love it, thank you thank you! And the second book, OMG, gypsies AND egypt AND a deep theme???? I SO can't WAIT to read it!!! thank you!!!
( a photo of m-kat's presents )

alariya, darling, do you know how much I love you for giving to me when you are struggling so much? The act of giving meant even more to me than the awesome CD. (which would NOT photograph, mlurg)
lil_e_beth, thank you for the Christmas card, you're such a sweetheart! Did you make it? it's pretty. ;-)
ohsaycanyousay, thank you for the card -- you are amazing, I so appreciate you going to the trouble for me when your own life is tumultuous.
invisibleglue, I love the pendant! I don't know why, really -- it just reminds me of something a fae or dryad would wear. I love it, I doooo, thank you sweetheart! (that's what inspired the 'what charm would you be' poll -- I was thinking of making an lj-friend necklace) And I was so delighted by the tiny bow and darling wrapping! such an adorable thing, I actually saved the part of the wrapping with the mini-bow and mini-card, because it was just too damn cute to throw away.
( a photo of the pendant )

aslan_fan, I adore that keyring! "I am a nut" -- Dr. Talkavich quotes are forever golden. ;-D and I still haven't tried the tea, but I am so looking forward to it! And more than anything, decorating the apartment with frenetik was just such a sweet gift, and it really meant a lot to me.
( photos of elya's and Ben's family's gifts )

frenetik, dunno why I'm referring to your journal when you probably won't read this, but nevertheless, thank you, my love. You AMAZED me with how perfect your gifts were! Limited edition purple duct tape! and purple glass, and cinnamon candles, and purple paint, and the scents from BPAL. but most of all, my warrior faery. ♥ You are the BEST HUSBAND EVER, all the time and not just right now, and I treasure you.
( photos of Ben's presents, including the delightfully detailed fae )

and Rebecca, I know you won't read this, but I love you for thinking of me and choosing such perfect gifts. I am sure I'm going to frame the purple & green dragonfly photo, it's just incredibly beautiful and incredibly me. And I suspect that you put coins in the machine until you got the dragonfly tattoo, and I think that's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.
( a photo of rebecca's presents )

AND Ben's parents got us a fancy-fancy toaster oven, which will probably save us a ton on energy since we won't have to use the oven for everything. So very wonderful!
( and last but not least, my rearranged living room with the decorations that elya and Ben put up! )
( one last photo -- my updated postcard wall! )

This is my Christmas thank-you post. ♥ I have SO. MANY. beautiful people in my life. I am the most blessed person ever, really. I need to look at my blessings more often because DAYUM!

Oh how much I love you. If I could bottle my love it would easily replace electricity all over the world for a day. When I really think about it, I get filled with so much energy that it makes me want to SCREAM! just to let it out. I need more outlets for my love, really. You all live too damn far away for me to be able to pour into your lives. I think maybe I should start visiting the local nursing home... My family always did that at Christmas time, and I totally forgot this year. That was probably my favorite thing about my family... and the last time I did it I felt God so close. And now I am actually confident enough to believe that they really would want me to visit, which means that I could even do it without the excuse of Christmas. hmm.

I have no idea of the order that these arrived in, so I'm going to go randomly through them:
Thank you wallbrat and 12thknight for the paidaccount gifts!
Thank you darling boobiequeen for the photo that I've been wanting for over a year! It's on my wall, and you can see proof in the photos further down in this post. ;-)
aubkabob, dahling, thank you ever so for the card, it made me giggle in true Aubka fashion. ;-D
camilleyun, you are so incredibly utterly kind, I loooooved getting your PURPLE christmas card with such sweet words. Thank you thank you -- I am so glad I get to know you better.
eternitywaiting, OMFG yo, you are AMAZINK! I was worried when I got the package, because I suspected it was jewelry and I don't usually like to get jewelry as presents 'cause I am teh jewelry snob artist -- but I should have known. eeeeeeeee PURPLE eeeeeeeeeeeeee DRAGONFLY!!!!! You wonderful wonderful lovely darling! And I loved it already, but then I realized that the shards in the wings are DICHROIC GLASS. Dichroic glass is to Bel what candy is to a 3-year-old -- !!! Thank you! *many kisses*
( photos of the necklace/earrings )

valynn!!! You just stunned me with your generosity and especially with including Ben! He was feeling left out with all of my friends sending me stuff while he got no mail, and your lovely thoughtful gift card really made him happy. ThankyouX80million!!!
darkpool, wow. You made me feel SO LOVED!!!!! Everything was so perfect and so suited me! I love the bottles, they went straight into my sanctuary, along with the candle holders. And the book will DEFINITELY come in handy, yay! and the note that came along with it just made everything 10 times as meaningful. I love that you got me the bookmark because you relate me with vibrancy. ♥ You blew me away. AND THE GYPSY KEYRING!!! wow. I think you hit just about every love of mine. ♥
( a photo of darkpool's presents )

maladroitkat, do you know how many times I picked up that book and almost bought it? At least four times! I suppose it was meant to be a gift from you to me, and I love it, thank you thank you! And the second book, OMG, gypsies AND egypt AND a deep theme???? I SO can't WAIT to read it!!! thank you!!!
( a photo of m-kat's presents )

alariya, darling, do you know how much I love you for giving to me when you are struggling so much? The act of giving meant even more to me than the awesome CD. (which would NOT photograph, mlurg)
lil_e_beth, thank you for the Christmas card, you're such a sweetheart! Did you make it? it's pretty. ;-)
ohsaycanyousay, thank you for the card -- you are amazing, I so appreciate you going to the trouble for me when your own life is tumultuous.
invisibleglue, I love the pendant! I don't know why, really -- it just reminds me of something a fae or dryad would wear. I love it, I doooo, thank you sweetheart! (that's what inspired the 'what charm would you be' poll -- I was thinking of making an lj-friend necklace) And I was so delighted by the tiny bow and darling wrapping! such an adorable thing, I actually saved the part of the wrapping with the mini-bow and mini-card, because it was just too damn cute to throw away.
( a photo of the pendant )

aslan_fan, I adore that keyring! "I am a nut" -- Dr. Talkavich quotes are forever golden. ;-D and I still haven't tried the tea, but I am so looking forward to it! And more than anything, decorating the apartment with frenetik was just such a sweet gift, and it really meant a lot to me.
( photos of elya's and Ben's family's gifts )

frenetik, dunno why I'm referring to your journal when you probably won't read this, but nevertheless, thank you, my love. You AMAZED me with how perfect your gifts were! Limited edition purple duct tape! and purple glass, and cinnamon candles, and purple paint, and the scents from BPAL. but most of all, my warrior faery. ♥ You are the BEST HUSBAND EVER, all the time and not just right now, and I treasure you.
( photos of Ben's presents, including the delightfully detailed fae )

and Rebecca, I know you won't read this, but I love you for thinking of me and choosing such perfect gifts. I am sure I'm going to frame the purple & green dragonfly photo, it's just incredibly beautiful and incredibly me. And I suspect that you put coins in the machine until you got the dragonfly tattoo, and I think that's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.
( a photo of rebecca's presents )

AND Ben's parents got us a fancy-fancy toaster oven, which will probably save us a ton on energy since we won't have to use the oven for everything. So very wonderful!
( and last but not least, my rearranged living room with the decorations that elya and Ben put up! )
( one last photo -- my updated postcard wall! )

This is my Christmas thank-you post. ♥ I have SO. MANY. beautiful people in my life. I am the most blessed person ever, really. I need to look at my blessings more often because DAYUM!

Oh how much I love you. If I could bottle my love it would easily replace electricity all over the world for a day. When I really think about it, I get filled with so much energy that it makes me want to SCREAM! just to let it out. I need more outlets for my love, really. You all live too damn far away for me to be able to pour into your lives. I think maybe I should start visiting the local nursing home... My family always did that at Christmas time, and I totally forgot this year. That was probably my favorite thing about my family... and the last time I did it I felt God so close. And now I am actually confident enough to believe that they really would want me to visit, which means that I could even do it without the excuse of Christmas. hmm.

I have no idea of the order that these arrived in, so I'm going to go randomly through them:
Thank you wallbrat and 12thknight for the paidaccount gifts!
Thank you darling boobiequeen for the photo that I've been wanting for over a year! It's on my wall, and you can see proof in the photos further down in this post. ;-)
aubkabob, dahling, thank you ever so for the card, it made me giggle in true Aubka fashion. ;-D
camilleyun, you are so incredibly utterly kind, I loooooved getting your PURPLE christmas card with such sweet words. Thank you thank you -- I am so glad I get to know you better.
eternitywaiting, OMFG yo, you are AMAZINK! I was worried when I got the package, because I suspected it was jewelry and I don't usually like to get jewelry as presents 'cause I am teh jewelry snob artist -- but I should have known. eeeeeeeee PURPLE eeeeeeeeeeeeee DRAGONFLY!!!!! You wonderful wonderful lovely darling! And I loved it already, but then I realized that the shards in the wings are DICHROIC GLASS. Dichroic glass is to Bel what candy is to a 3-year-old -- !!! Thank you! *many kisses*
( photos of the necklace/earrings )

valynn!!! You just stunned me with your generosity and especially with including Ben! He was feeling left out with all of my friends sending me stuff while he got no mail, and your lovely thoughtful gift card really made him happy. ThankyouX80million!!!
darkpool, wow. You made me feel SO LOVED!!!!! Everything was so perfect and so suited me! I love the bottles, they went straight into my sanctuary, along with the candle holders. And the book will DEFINITELY come in handy, yay! and the note that came along with it just made everything 10 times as meaningful. I love that you got me the bookmark because you relate me with vibrancy. ♥ You blew me away. AND THE GYPSY KEYRING!!! wow. I think you hit just about every love of mine. ♥
( a photo of darkpool's presents )

maladroitkat, do you know how many times I picked up that book and almost bought it? At least four times! I suppose it was meant to be a gift from you to me, and I love it, thank you thank you! And the second book, OMG, gypsies AND egypt AND a deep theme???? I SO can't WAIT to read it!!! thank you!!!
( a photo of m-kat's presents )

alariya, darling, do you know how much I love you for giving to me when you are struggling so much? The act of giving meant even more to me than the awesome CD. (which would NOT photograph, mlurg)
lil_e_beth, thank you for the Christmas card, you're such a sweetheart! Did you make it? it's pretty. ;-)
ohsaycanyousay, thank you for the card -- you are amazing, I so appreciate you going to the trouble for me when your own life is tumultuous.
invisibleglue, I love the pendant! I don't know why, really -- it just reminds me of something a fae or dryad would wear. I love it, I doooo, thank you sweetheart! (that's what inspired the 'what charm would you be' poll -- I was thinking of making an lj-friend necklace) And I was so delighted by the tiny bow and darling wrapping! such an adorable thing, I actually saved the part of the wrapping with the mini-bow and mini-card, because it was just too damn cute to throw away.
( a photo of the pendant )

aslan_fan, I adore that keyring! "I am a nut" -- Dr. Talkavich quotes are forever golden. ;-D and I still haven't tried the tea, but I am so looking forward to it! And more than anything, decorating the apartment with frenetik was just such a sweet gift, and it really meant a lot to me.
( photos of elya's and Ben's family's gifts )

frenetik, dunno why I'm referring to your journal when you probably won't read this, but nevertheless, thank you, my love. You AMAZED me with how perfect your gifts were! Limited edition purple duct tape! and purple glass, and cinnamon candles, and purple paint, and the scents from BPAL. but most of all, my warrior faery. ♥ You are the BEST HUSBAND EVER, all the time and not just right now, and I treasure you.
( photos of Ben's presents, including the delightfully detailed fae )

and Rebecca, I know you won't read this, but I love you for thinking of me and choosing such perfect gifts. I am sure I'm going to frame the purple & green dragonfly photo, it's just incredibly beautiful and incredibly me. And I suspect that you put coins in the machine until you got the dragonfly tattoo, and I think that's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.
( a photo of rebecca's presents )

AND Ben's parents got us a fancy-fancy toaster oven, which will probably save us a ton on energy since we won't have to use the oven for everything. So very wonderful!
( and last but not least, my rearranged living room with the decorations that elya and Ben put up! )
( one last photo -- my updated postcard wall! )

Yes, this is a jazzed-up version of last year's banner, but it's so perfect because this year I got that photo as a Christmas present! yay! Thank you again Danielle!

I'm going to sleep and when I wake up I get to open presents from some of you, I am so so so so so excited! And I get to open my presents from Ben! And hopefully he will love the presents I got him. and then (and I am ridiculously excited about this) I am so calling some of you to wish you Merry Christmas and to hear (if I sent and you got my present) how happy you are!

By the way, I say 'Merry Christmas' because that is the holiday I celebrate. If you don't celebrate Christmas, feel free to wish me a Happy Hannukuh or a Cheerful Solstice or just a Joyful Winter (although that's kinda an oxymoron). I will be delighted just the same. ;-)

I love you all.
♥

Yes, this is a jazzed-up version of last year's banner, but it's so perfect because this year I got that photo as a Christmas present! yay! Thank you again Danielle!

I'm going to sleep and when I wake up I get to open presents from some of you, I am so so so so so excited! And I get to open my presents from Ben! And hopefully he will love the presents I got him. and then (and I am ridiculously excited about this) I am so calling some of you to wish you Merry Christmas and to hear (if I sent and you got my present) how happy you are!

By the way, I say 'Merry Christmas' because that is the holiday I celebrate. If you don't celebrate Christmas, feel free to wish me a Happy Hannukuh or a Cheerful Solstice or just a Joyful Winter (although that's kinda an oxymoron). I will be delighted just the same. ;-)

I love you all.
♥

Yes, this is a jazzed-up version of last year's banner, but it's so perfect because this year I got that photo as a Christmas present! yay! Thank you again Danielle!

I'm going to sleep and when I wake up I get to open presents from some of you, I am so so so so so excited! And I get to open my presents from Ben! And hopefully he will love the presents I got him. and then (and I am ridiculously excited about this) I am so calling some of you to wish you Merry Christmas and to hear (if I sent and you got my present) how happy you are!

By the way, I say 'Merry Christmas' because that is the holiday I celebrate. If you don't celebrate Christmas, feel free to wish me a Happy Hannukuh or a Cheerful Solstice or just a Joyful Winter (although that's kinda an oxymoron). I will be delighted just the same. ;-)

I love you all.
♥

YAY! I have some presents done!

maladroitkat -- present already given!
jedibubbles -- present complete & wrapped!
alariya -- b-day present finished and wrapped, christmas present mostly-ready.
aubkabob -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
eternitywaiting -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
-- but listen up, you two -- if you can't wait until at least Christmas Eve to unwrap them, then I'm not sending them until the last minute, and THEN it might be late! So do I have your word that you'll wait?
notashamed -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
ohsaycanyousay -- present wrapped, waiting to be packed to ship.
my eviltwin -- presents bought & wrapped!
shmee_ -- present begun (it's a project!)
boobiequeen -- present bought!
misemifein2 -- present bought and on its way to me to be wrapped and sent! I miss Kate so terribly much! She better get internet next semester!
sunshinepill -- half of present bought.
Rebecca -- nothing yet.
elya -- half-done!
and I have the perfect idea for valynn, but no one seems to be selling it! arrrggh!
Yet to get: scream_baby, valynn, invisibleglue, & the other half of sunshinepill's present.
Still to figure out what to get! You guys are hard!:
presents for whatsarahsaid, kmiotutsie, & darkpool! Please give me ideas!

If I was rich I'd get presents for all of you. You all have my love!

YAY! I have some presents done!

maladroitkat -- present already given!
jedibubbles -- present complete & wrapped!
alariya -- b-day present finished and wrapped, christmas present mostly-ready.
aubkabob -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
eternitywaiting -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
-- but listen up, you two -- if you can't wait until at least Christmas Eve to unwrap them, then I'm not sending them until the last minute, and THEN it might be late! So do I have your word that you'll wait?
notashamed -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
ohsaycanyousay -- present wrapped, waiting to be packed to ship.
my eviltwin -- presents bought & wrapped!
shmee_ -- present begun (it's a project!)
boobiequeen -- present bought!
misemifein2 -- present bought and on its way to me to be wrapped and sent! I miss Kate so terribly much! She better get internet next semester!
sunshinepill -- half of present bought.
Rebecca -- nothing yet.
elya -- half-done!
and I have the perfect idea for valynn, but no one seems to be selling it! arrrggh!
Yet to get: scream_baby, valynn, invisibleglue, & the other half of sunshinepill's present.
Still to figure out what to get! You guys are hard!:
presents for whatsarahsaid, kmiotutsie, & darkpool! Please give me ideas!

If I was rich I'd get presents for all of you. You all have my love!

YAY! I have some presents done!

maladroitkat -- present already given!
jedibubbles -- present complete & wrapped!
alariya -- b-day present finished and wrapped, christmas present mostly-ready.
aubkabob -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
eternitywaiting -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
-- but listen up, you two -- if you can't wait until at least Christmas Eve to unwrap them, then I'm not sending them until the last minute, and THEN it might be late! So do I have your word that you'll wait?
notashamed -- present complete & wrapped & packed to ship!
ohsaycanyousay -- present wrapped, waiting to be packed to ship.
my eviltwin -- presents bought & wrapped!
shmee_ -- present begun (it's a project!)
boobiequeen -- present bought!
misemifein2 -- present bought and on its way to me to be wrapped and sent! I miss Kate so terribly much! She better get internet next semester!
sunshinepill -- half of present bought.
Rebecca -- nothing yet.
elya -- half-done!
and I have the perfect idea for valynn, but no one seems to be selling it! arrrggh!
Yet to get: scream_baby, valynn, invisibleglue, & the other half of sunshinepill's present.
Still to figure out what to get! You guys are hard!:
presents for whatsarahsaid, kmiotutsie, & darkpool! Please give me ideas!

If I was rich I'd get presents for all of you. You all have my love!