Last Tuesday I went out with Wade -- we went walking at Red Top Mountain (and I got some photos which were SO amazing that I want prints!) and talked about everything and kissed a lot and I wish I'd written about that day right afterward because it has blurred since then :-/ But I remember that ze laughs when happy (not just with amusement) which I LOVE and which is pretty rare and which all of my current love-interests do :D (though it confuses me with new people because I'm so not used to it!) And ze laughs with wild abandon when amused (we watched a very silly but somehow awesome movie -- "Yes Man"). And when I reach for cuddles ze responds instantly and exactly the same amount -- to this perfect balance that is really fun to find. Usually people respond with just a little less and occasionally with more, and those two feel really different. I've never hit a perfect balance before. And it's not just the intensity, it's the tone. I wish I could explain it better.



( photos from Red Top! )

Zir energy is really strange to me, impossible to put into words. I told zir that ze was mysterious to me, which is very unusual -- usually if someone mystifies me it's because they're guarding but Wade really isn't. Ze's open but... very twisty? I can't squint and see through the trees, I have to just follow the path to see what is next. I feel some kind of ethereal connection but I have no idea what it is. Yet. However, I did sense one of zir spirit shapes VERY strongly -- ze is such a tiger, ohmygod.

Touch-wise, Wade is initiatory while also being very respectful ( ... )

I had such an amazing day with Wade -- cuddles and kisses and energy play (OH MY GOD/DESS) and hand-holding and photo-taking and woods-walking. I'm starting to love this fuck-you-timing attitude I've adopted, heh. Weaving a new connection is so wonderful. mmm ♥ (I want to write more but I really must go to sleep now -- I have training tomorrow!)

I'm in a weird state at the moment. ( new job possibilities, nerves )

Also I'm hanging out with Wade tomorrow and I'm happy and nervous about that. Wade is Rob's housemate -- I've only really talked with zir once but it was a wonderful conversation and we cuddled a bit and that was even more wonderful so I think it'll go well. I feel a little ridiculous opening all these doors when I don't know anything about the direction my life is taking, but intuition says go, so going I am. (and I did ask the universe for as many lovers as I can handle... haha)

The borderpagans meeting tonight consisted of myself, Ben, Green, Anita, Chip, and Christa. Something about that collection of people felt just amazing. I mean, it could have been that I was just high from being around both Ben and Anita but I think it was more than that -- the energy just seemed to flow really easily between the six of us. I really loved it -- even before we went to dinner and Anita and I cuddled, hee (there are these moments when we're not even touching and I just feel this wave of lush calm from being in zir presence -- it's incredible). I think maybe it's that I felt like I could really trust each of them and that each of them were open to connecting with me and the others. And also that I really like each of them and want to know them more so I was very open to them.

It completely blows my mind that there are so many amazing people in my life. Such an abundance of love and acceptance and generosity of spirit! I am incredibly grateful.