What are the parts of your identity that you have labels for? (list and then define)

Part 2: my soul parts. These are parts of my identity that relate to my purpose n the world and the way I interact with it.

My soul identites: consent advocate, communalist, social justice activist, polyamorous / relationship anarchist, creativity catalyst, Southern / ATLien, tree-hugger, vegetarian, nudist.

consent advocate

This is a big damn deal to me. Most people are really bad at consent because we live in a rape culture. I try to model good consent at every opportunity and I am very demanding of myself not to ever be careless with consent. Why making it safe & comfortable to say 'no' is as necessary as respecting 'no' I don't separate people into rapists and not-rapists, but rather into a spectrum of good at consent to bad at consent, with rapist as a separate category for people who knowingly make a choice to cross someone else's sexual boundary and people who sexually violate others due to not bothering to check what they want. People who do their best not to be a rapist can still be bad at consent! Everyone has to unlearn rape culture. how to be careful w sexual consent: discuss meaning, risk, safeword, triggers, roles, acts, sobriety, needs

communalist

This is what I call my radical anti-capitalist attitude toward money and other shareable resources. I share my resources; I give a portion of every paycheck to resist inequality and support oppressed people; I speak out against economic inequality; I consider the economic cost within my own relationships and events and do what I can to balance them.

social justice activist

I resist oppression and work to bring justice wherever I can. I call myself an activist rather than ally because to me, ally is passive: someone who will not attack you nor overtly support oppressors. I consider being an activist to be about taking action, first in self-educating, then in doing what you can where you are with what you have. More than anything else, social justice is about considering the meaning and impact of all my choices and trying to create the least harm and the most good.

polyamorous/relationship anarchist

I am polyamorous: for me this means being open to multiple simultaneous romantic relationships. More specifically I identify as a relationship anarchist because I will not make rules or commitments designed to protect the relationship at the cost of the individuals. My relationship anarchy: we each only do what we want / my intentions & desires in all connections

creativity catalyst

I feel that true creativity is sacred, that every human is capable of it (and many other animals are also), and that we need more of it in the world. I try to encourage this both indirectly through my example, (such as by painting on my car and customizing my companion objects) and directly by sharing my creative materials and methods, affirming when people are creative, and resisting when people are derogatory toward art based on its lack of technical skill or for other elitist bullshit reasons. I have catalyzed art in many people even if it was just once or twice, and I want to do it much more. I have needed art catalysts in my life and I want to be that thing that I need to exist in the world.

Southern / ATLien

I love Atlanta deeply. A lot of people from other places have this idea that the South is all anti-queer anti-justice tradition-enforcers, but they are flat wrong, as you can tell if you look at any objective measurement. Atlanta, Georgia's capital, has the second highest percentage of self-identified lgbtqia people in the United States, at about 13%.

The best explanation I have ever heard was from a black queer southern woman who said "southerners are just like everyone else, only more so." Here, the bigots are loud, but so are the activists. I would say the majority of southern people I have known are not fence-sitters. You can pretty easily figure out if we are with you or against you, and I vastly prefer that to completely covert prejudice.

I also consider Atlanta and Georgia to be my responsibility in a "take care of your own house" kind of way. I will not abandon it to go somewhere that might be more friendly to me and people like me; I will stay here and make it better.

And I identify with Georgia specifically because of our trees. No other place I have been has had so many trees, and Atlanta's nickname is the City in a Forest. I treasure and worship trees and love that Georgia has so many.

tree-hugger

I mean this literally and figuratively. Literally, I love trees more than almost anyone I know (I only come in second to a professional tree-lover: a botanist/naturalist who has catalogued hundreds of trees in Atlanta and Georgia). I read about them and practice identifying them for fun, I connect with them on a deep level and almost all my travel desires are about trees I want to meet. Figuratively, I try to create as little waste as possible by reducing the waste I create, reusing as much as possible, and recycling carefully.

vegetarian

I am a vegetarian because it takes much more resources to raise animals than to raise plants. It is also very very expensive to eat ethically raised or wild-caught animals and I just don't like meat enough to try and keep meat-processing microbes alive in my body, but neither do I want to contribute to harm caused to animals by buying from unethical sources. HOWEVER this is not about right/wrong, it is about reduction of harm. Why I am vegetarian but do not recommend it for everyone and why I won't ever go vegan.

I have learned the hard way how to supplement and if someone can't afford $50 a month in supplements as well as healthy proteins, they can't afford to be vegetarian. And being vegan can be bad for the planet in a lot of ways and is not a nutritionally sound choice for the vast majority of people, since you need either a lot of spare time and research skills or to hire a nutritionist to know how to supplement all the needed nutrients.

nudist

Simply put, I hate being forced to wear clothes and if I could get away with it I would be naked all the time except when it was cold or for occasional dress-up. I reject the idea that nudity is sexual; for me, it is simply the default human state.

I wrote this using a template shared by wildrose and really liked how it turned out! I did not do it about my biofamily, but about my chosen, local tribe.

"Where I’m From"

I am from (reusable) water bottles carried everywhere,
from Cool Beans coffee and Blue Ridge honey.
I am from sultry, sweaty, stretched-out summers where the heat falls on you like a weighted blanket.
I am from the sweet airy scent of silk trees,
the sticky sap of pines and the twilight flash of fireflies.

I am from winter solstice gathers awash in rainbow fairy lights
and well-accepted neurodiversity and bodily limitations
(as will grow among folk who are all depressed, anxious, and/or ADD/autism-spectrum, most with multiple chemical sensitivities and/or chronic pain/illness)
I'm from Georgia and Atlanta, from
food-for-sharing marked as vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or dairy-free
(checked for high fructose corn syrup, MSG, artificial dyes, and annatto).

I am from Topaz and Kylei and Heather and Allison and Hannah.
I am from social overwhelm and rabbit-trailed conversations, from intense questions and frank observations.
From "how are you feeling?" and "what are you thinking?"
I am from self-built spiritualities, atheisms and theologies which do not match but somehow harmonize with each other.

From the kinfolks who refuse ask for help but have slowly learned to occasionally accept it when offered
and those who run away for fear of rejection
and those who create and customize and build relationships with their things.
I am from lost photos and fuzzy memories, from carefully kept scraps and trinkets, from wild hair and dirty feet.


The “Where I’m From” Template
I am from (specific ordinary item)___________________________,
from (two product names)________________________ and________________________.
I am from the ____________________ (home description... adjective, adjective, sensory detail).
I am from the ____________________________(plant, flower, natural item),
the _______________________________________(plant, flower, natural detail).
I am from ______________________________(family tradition)
and ____________________________________(family trait),
from _________________(name of family member) and ______________ (another family name)
and ______________________(family name).
I am from the ____________________________ (description of family tendency) and _______________________ (another one).
From ______________________________ (something you were told as a child) and ______________________ (another).
I am from ___________________. (representation of religion, or lack of it). Further description.
I'm from ____________________________ (place of birth and family ancestry), from
___________________ and ____________________ (two food items representing your family).
From the ___________________ (specific family story about a specific person and detail),
the________________________(another detail about another family member).
I am from ______________.(location of family pictures, mementos, archives and several more lines indicating their worth).

spirit: the part of things which is the ethereal blueprint for them, the perfect core. I believe plants, minerals, animals, humans, stars, places, bodies of water, and everything else each has a spirit. I believe that all beings can commune with other beings through this core-self. I believe all beings are part of a whole self -- we are just the limbs of a much larger creature. I see humans as also having soul and heart, and of course mind and body. I feel that some non-human beings also have souls, but I'm not sure what the pattern is there.

magic: the ability of individual consciousness to affect the pattern of the universe. I believe that thoughts and emotions are magical; words are the manifestation of these things and as such can draw even stronger patterns -- especially in Naming. I believe in the use of symbols in ritual; physical representations of thoughts and emotions provide a focus that strengthens the magic. I have used my thoughts, emotions, words, and ritual to affect the pattern of my life and seen amazing clusters of "coincidences" as a result.

critical analysis: accepting and/or dismissing nothing without careful examination for the assumed meaning and possible purpose. I believe every piece of knowledge must be reshaped in order to make it part of oneself; without this, one's mind is just a collection of other people's thoughts (it's the difference between building a structure from gifted materials, and just leaving the materials in a haphazard pile. The second is not very useful). I believe every person has something I can learn from them, and I believe in taking every opportunity to find those things.

mindful touch: touch that is full of awareness. I believe touch is sacred and find thoughtless touch to be upsetting most of the time; it feels like a desecration. I believe touch requires consent, always. I want to be touched by people who are aware of my desires, my reactions, my body, my boundaries. I do my best to touch people only in ways that please them (not just in ways that don't bother them); if in doubt, I will not touch.

asking: questioning instead of assuming or accepting or wondering. Asking for what I want; asking if I have interpreted correctly; asking why a pattern exists; asking myself how I can change a harmful pattern; asking to help others learn about themselves; increasing openness through invitations to share.

( bold emotion, creating/living art, colors, nudity, giving, self-love, coffee, & Georgia. )

Kisses! how I long for more -- why can't I kiss everyone in the world? and oh God/dess, hands. Really, I'm such a hands person. Hands and mouths (because it's mostly the lips but it's also the whole structure, y'know?) but hands first. There've been moments when I've held hands with someone and it felt more intimate than kissing or fucking.

I'm a little baffled at what my mind returns to lately. I'd have expected to pine and mourn and suffer over the Ash & Rob thing but I haven't been. Parts of it just sort of evaporated (can't really explain that because it's not only my story and it's too near) and the bits that are still painful I'm just avoiding the fuck out of. So instead what fills my mind is ( other doomed attractions )

Also if I have to move out of state that means that Ben and I will be on hiatus because ze doesn't do long distance. So that's a little depressing. It already sucks that living this far means I only get time alone with zir once a week. I mean, I'm grateful for that, but I need more intimate-connection-time than that. Not necessarily with the same person, not even necessarily romantic, just more. I need mindful cuddles everyday. I need naked, open conversation at least every other day. And you know? now that I'm thinking on it, if I were to move with the biofamily, I would get cuddles and naked-open-conversation all the time from my lil sis. And right this minute I want that more than anything else. :-(

But but! if I can stay here I can be with Ben and mayyyyyyyybe one of those who have laid claim to my mindspace and who knows what other possibilities? I do have a few leads on jobs (nothing definite yet) and I feel pretty sure I can find a decent place to live if I can find work that would actually pay my bills. And I could go back to school for free. I want that so much. I want THIS. I want here, this is my home.

And the idea of not being in Georgia in summer makes me ache and weep. I love Georgia in summer more than I've ever loved a person and I think more than I ever will love any single person. It's the most unbearable beauty and it breathes and embraces me, I need it. NEED. Please God/dess, please don't make me leave before I've had at least a little of it. I beg you, All-That-Has-Compassion, let me taste true summer.

Kisses! how I long for more -- why can't I kiss everyone in the world? and oh God/dess, hands. Really, I'm such a hands person. Hands and mouths (because it's mostly the lips but it's also the whole structure, y'know?) but hands first. There've been moments when I've held hands with someone and it felt more intimate than kissing or fucking.

I'm a little baffled at what my mind returns to lately. I'd have expected to pine and mourn and suffer over the Ash & Rob thing but I haven't been. Parts of it just sort of evaporated (can't really explain that because it's not only my story and it's too near) and the bits that are still painful I'm just avoiding the fuck out of. So instead what fills my mind is ( other doomed attractions )

Also if I have to move out of state that means that Ben and I will be on hiatus because ze doesn't do long distance. So that's a little depressing. It already sucks that living this far means I only get time alone with zir once a week. I mean, I'm grateful for that, but I need more intimate-connection-time than that. Not necessarily with the same person, not even necessarily romantic, just more. I need mindful cuddles everyday. I need naked, open conversation at least every other day. And you know? now that I'm thinking on it, if I were to move with the biofamily, I would get cuddles and naked-open-conversation all the time from my lil sis. And right this minute I want that more than anything else. :-(

But but! if I can stay here I can be with Ben and mayyyyyyyybe one of those who have laid claim to my mindspace and who knows what other possibilities? I do have a few leads on jobs (nothing definite yet) and I feel pretty sure I can find a decent place to live if I can find work that would actually pay my bills. And I could go back to school for free. I want that so much. I want THIS. I want here, this is my home.

And the idea of not being in Georgia in summer makes me ache and weep. I love Georgia in summer more than I've ever loved a person and I think more than I ever will love any single person. It's the most unbearable beauty and it breathes and embraces me, I need it. NEED. Please God/dess, please don't make me leave before I've had at least a little of it. I beg you, All-That-Has-Compassion, let me taste true summer.

Aurilion and I went to Phoenix and Dragon (a metaphysical shop and bookstore), and on the way there we passed a small sign on the far side of the road that said "Big Trees Forest Preserve." It's really quite miraculous that we even noticed it -- I believe it called to us. We both noticed and exclaimed at the same time, and decided that we would stop there on our way back.

While at Phoenix and Dragon, Aurilion found a figurine of Bastet, a Deity who had called zir earlier this visit. Witnessing that calling was such an amazing experience! I sensed something happening and sat next to Aurilion, feeling a warm golden energy slowly blossom around us. Neither of us said much, just sat together feeling this presence, and I 'heard' Bastet's name so clearly and with such power. I am always hesitant to speak that which might be someone else's sacred truth, but this was so clear I had no doubt. I still had to work myself up to saying what I had heard though ;-) Aurilion instantly confirmed that ze had heard the same name (in the stronger form, Bast) and, filled with delight, received a message from Bast. Right after, I painted Aurilion with golden dust and gave zir the magic vial I had created for zir. Ze wrote of the beautiful spiritual experiences then and at Phoenix and Dragon. I was so honored to be witness, and to feel the magic of it. ♥

We both got stones -- I got stones for two of my Deities and various stones to represent the spirit, heart, and soul of Nimajn and Aurilion. (I may photograph my sanctuary/altar and share it here; if I do I'll explain the stones) We brought them along when we started walking the trail, because I had had the idea that we could cleanse them with the dirt at the roots of a tree that called to us; but it turned out there was an even better opportunity waiting for us.

(I have Named some of the trees we met -- not explaining more just now because I'm conceiving a post on the significance of names/naming in my life)



( many many beautiful, magical photos )

It was so beautifully and lovingly kept. Created in such a way as to honor nature's design, rather than impose a new design and destroy the old... the signposts were mostly recovered wood from fallen logs & such, the bridges were constructed of the least material possible in order to blend in, rather than grab attention... the paths were mulched rather than paved (and some simply packed dirt), surely harder to upkeep but so much more natural and comfortable. I didn't see a speck of litter. I could FEEL the love put into the preserve. I would really love to meet the caretaker(s). And I can't wait to go back and explore more (we didn't go far because we were taking everything in so deeply). And this, THIS, surrounded by industrial, bustling city! Safe, forever, thanks to the reverence and generosity of one person.

Truly the most magical place I have ever been; such a beautiful example of people working with and honoring nature. ♥ ♥ ♥

Aurilion and I went to Phoenix and Dragon (a metaphysical shop and bookstore), and on the way there we passed a small sign on the far side of the road that said "Big Trees Forest Preserve." It's really quite miraculous that we even noticed it -- I believe it called to us. We both noticed and exclaimed at the same time, and decided that we would stop there on our way back.

While at Phoenix and Dragon, Aurilion found a figurine of Bastet, a Deity who had called zir earlier this visit. Witnessing that calling was such an amazing experience! I sensed something happening and sat next to Aurilion, feeling a warm golden energy slowly blossom around us. Neither of us said much, just sat together feeling this presence, and I 'heard' Bastet's name so clearly and with such power. I am always hesitant to speak that which might be someone else's sacred truth, but this was so clear I had no doubt. I still had to work myself up to saying what I had heard though ;-) Aurilion instantly confirmed that ze had heard the same name (in the stronger form, Bast) and, filled with delight, received a message from Bast. Right after, I painted Aurilion with golden dust and gave zir the magic vial I had created for zir. Ze wrote of the beautiful spiritual experiences then and at Phoenix and Dragon. I was so honored to be witness, and to feel the magic of it. ♥

We both got stones -- I got stones for two of my Deities and various stones to represent the spirit, heart, and soul of Nimajn and Aurilion. (I may photograph my sanctuary/altar and share it here; if I do I'll explain the stones) We brought them along when we started walking the trail, because I had had the idea that we could cleanse them with the dirt at the roots of a tree that called to us; but it turned out there was an even better opportunity waiting for us.

(I have Named some of the trees we met -- not explaining more just now because I'm conceiving a post on the significance of names/naming in my life)



( many many beautiful, magical photos )

It was so beautifully and lovingly kept. Created in such a way as to honor nature's design, rather than impose a new design and destroy the old... the signposts were mostly recovered wood from fallen logs & such, the bridges were constructed of the least material possible in order to blend in, rather than grab attention... the paths were mulched rather than paved (and some simply packed dirt), surely harder to upkeep but so much more natural and comfortable. I didn't see a speck of litter. I could FEEL the love put into the preserve. I would really love to meet the caretaker(s). And I can't wait to go back and explore more (we didn't go far because we were taking everything in so deeply). And this, THIS, surrounded by industrial, bustling city! Safe, forever, thanks to the reverence and generosity of one person.

Truly the most magical place I have ever been; such a beautiful example of people working with and honoring nature. ♥ ♥ ♥

Aurilion and I went to Phoenix and Dragon (a metaphysical shop and bookstore), and on the way there we passed a small sign on the far side of the road that said "Big Trees Forest Preserve." It's really quite miraculous that we even noticed it -- I believe it called to us. We both noticed and exclaimed at the same time, and decided that we would stop there on our way back.

While at Phoenix and Dragon, Aurilion found a figurine of Bastet, a Deity who had called zir earlier this visit. Witnessing that calling was such an amazing experience! I sensed something happening and sat next to Aurilion, feeling a warm golden energy slowly blossom around us. Neither of us said much, just sat together feeling this presence, and I 'heard' Bastet's name so clearly and with such power. I am always hesitant to speak that which might be someone else's sacred truth, but this was so clear I had no doubt. I still had to work myself up to saying what I had heard though ;-) Aurilion instantly confirmed that ze had heard the same name (in the stronger form, Bast) and, filled with delight, received a message from Bast. Right after, I painted Aurilion with golden dust and gave zir the magic vial I had created for zir. Ze wrote of the beautiful spiritual experiences then and at Phoenix and Dragon. I was so honored to be witness, and to feel the magic of it. ♥

We both got stones -- I got stones for two of my Deities and various stones to represent the spirit, heart, and soul of Nimajn and Aurilion. (I may photograph my sanctuary/altar and share it here; if I do I'll explain the stones) We brought them along when we started walking the trail, because I had had the idea that we could cleanse them with the dirt at the roots of a tree that called to us; but it turned out there was an even better opportunity waiting for us.

(I have Named some of the trees we met -- not explaining more just now because I'm conceiving a post on the significance of names/naming in my life)



( many many beautiful, magical photos )

It was so beautifully and lovingly kept. Created in such a way as to honor nature's design, rather than impose a new design and destroy the old... the signposts were mostly recovered wood from fallen logs & such, the bridges were constructed of the least material possible in order to blend in, rather than grab attention... the paths were mulched rather than paved (and some simply packed dirt), surely harder to upkeep but so much more natural and comfortable. I didn't see a speck of litter. I could FEEL the love put into the preserve. I would really love to meet the caretaker(s). And I can't wait to go back and explore more (we didn't go far because we were taking everything in so deeply). And this, THIS, surrounded by industrial, bustling city! Safe, forever, thanks to the reverence and generosity of one person.

Truly the most magical place I have ever been; such a beautiful example of people working with and honoring nature. ♥ ♥ ♥

Words and actions are like clothing; we can express ourselves with them, but they cannot describe the person we are. They can hint, they can shout, but they cannot sum us up. People are simply too complex, and too much of us exists in a place where no one can see actions or hear words. The only label that has any worth is our self-label: the words we choose to dress ourselves in. And even those have no worth until we explain our own meaning for them.

On that note, here are the words I wear: spiritual, creative, honest, open, compassionate, bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, nuevo-gypsy, Georgian, curvy body-positive, fiercely individualistic, feminist/equalist, genderfree female-bodied person. (in no particular order) And my definitions:

spiritual: I don't adhere to any one religion, but believe in whatever resonates with me. The main belief systems I draw from are ancient Egyptian concepts (including aspects of Kemetic Orthodoxy), Native American animism, Christianity, and Buddhism (I don't know much about it but I really love Hotei). I worship God/dess, and have a relationship with several of hir personalities, of Christian and Kemetic names. Ultimately I believe God/dess is love, that the physical world is a metaphor for the spiritual world, and that we chose to come to earth to learn how to love more. I believe everything is connected, all things have a spirit and a name, and there is no such thing as a coincidence.

creative: I am one who creates. I do my best to create love in myself and others, and to pour myself out in my creations: my writing, photography, modeling, beadweaving, painting, dancing, singing -- whatever way I can. I believe that every act of creation ripples out and changes the world (as does destruction, but that in a negative way). Even if no one ever sees my art, I feel I have changed the world simply by creating it (though I think it has even more power when shared).

honest: I do my best to never lie. I think 'little white lies' are like 'little white maggots' that infest connectedness and ruin it. Even one 'little white maggot' in a bowl of soup is going to make you not want to eat it -- I feel the same way about lies. If you can't trust me on something small, how can you trust me with your heart? also, little white maggotlies are usually born from insecurity in the relationship, or lack of willingness to work out all issues. 'I don't want to offend her' or 'I don't want conflict.' Conflict is the best source of growth. I say brrrrring it oooooooon.

open: I will share myself with my friends without prompting, and I will share myself with strangers upon them showing the interest to know. I think every time one person shares themselves with another, that creates more of a connection and ripples out to affect the whole world. To me, honesty is giving truth when it is asked for (passive), and openness is offering your truth (active).

compassionate: My most intense passion in life is to learn, in order to grow, and to grow, in order to love - more deeply, more freely, more openly. I believe love is my purpose for being. The more I love people, the easier it gets, because I come to understand them more, and when you truly understand a person, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world to love them. I believe that at core we are all amazing, glorious spirits of incalculable worth. We all have a level of brokenness that keeps our spirits from being able to shine as they were meant to, but every act of love ripples out a wave of healing.

bisexual: ( ... )
polyamorous: ( ... )
partnered: ( ... )
nuevo-gypsy, Georgian: ( ... )
curvy body-positive: ( ... )
fiercely individualistic: ( ... )
feminist/equalist: ( ... )
nudist: ( ... )
genderfree female-bodied person: ( ... )

LJ idol topic 0: introduction/open topic (no voting this round!)

Words and actions are like clothing; we can express ourselves with them, but they cannot describe the person we are. They can hint, they can shout, but they cannot sum us up. People are simply too complex, and too much of us exists in a place where no one can see actions or hear words. The only label that has any worth is our self-label: the words we choose to dress ourselves in. And even those have no worth until we explain our own meaning for them.

On that note, here are the words I wear: spiritual, creative, honest, open, compassionate, bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, nuevo-gypsy, Georgian, curvy body-positive, fiercely individualistic, feminist/equalist, genderfree female-bodied person. (in no particular order) And my definitions:

spiritual: I don't adhere to any one religion, but believe in whatever resonates with me. The main belief systems I draw from are ancient Egyptian concepts (including aspects of Kemetic Orthodoxy), Native American animism, Christianity, and Buddhism (I don't know much about it but I really love Hotei). I worship God/dess, and have a relationship with several of hir personalities, of Christian and Kemetic names. Ultimately I believe God/dess is love, that the physical world is a metaphor for the spiritual world, and that we chose to come to earth to learn how to love more. I believe everything is connected, all things have a spirit and a name, and there is no such thing as a coincidence.

creative: I am one who creates. I do my best to create love in myself and others, and to pour myself out in my creations: my writing, photography, modeling, beadweaving, painting, dancing, singing -- whatever way I can. I believe that every act of creation ripples out and changes the world (as does destruction, but that in a negative way). Even if no one ever sees my art, I feel I have changed the world simply by creating it (though I think it has even more power when shared).

honest: I do my best to never lie. I think 'little white lies' are like 'little white maggots' that infest connectedness and ruin it. Even one 'little white maggot' in a bowl of soup is going to make you not want to eat it -- I feel the same way about lies. If you can't trust me on something small, how can you trust me with your heart? also, little white maggotlies are usually born from insecurity in the relationship, or lack of willingness to work out all issues. 'I don't want to offend her' or 'I don't want conflict.' Conflict is the best source of growth. I say brrrrring it oooooooon.

open: I will share myself with my friends without prompting, and I will share myself with strangers upon them showing the interest to know. I think every time one person shares themselves with another, that creates more of a connection and ripples out to affect the whole world. To me, honesty is giving truth when it is asked for (passive), and openness is offering your truth (active).

compassionate: My most intense passion in life is to learn, in order to grow, and to grow, in order to love - more deeply, more freely, more openly. I believe love is my purpose for being. The more I love people, the easier it gets, because I come to understand them more, and when you truly understand a person, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world to love them. I believe that at core we are all amazing, glorious spirits of incalculable worth. We all have a level of brokenness that keeps our spirits from being able to shine as they were meant to, but every act of love ripples out a wave of healing.

bisexual: ( ... )
polyamorous: ( ... )
partnered: ( ... )
nuevo-gypsy, Georgian: ( ... )
curvy body-positive: ( ... )
fiercely individualistic: ( ... )
feminist/equalist: ( ... )
nudist: ( ... )
genderfree female-bodied person: ( ... )

LJ idol topic 0: introduction/open topic (no voting this round!)

Words and actions are like clothing; we can express ourselves with them, but they cannot describe the person we are. They can hint, they can shout, but they cannot sum us up. People are simply too complex, and too much of us exists in a place where no one can see actions or hear words. The only label that has any worth is our self-label: the words we choose to dress ourselves in. And even those have no worth until we explain our own meaning for them.

On that note, here are the words I wear: spiritual, creative, honest, open, compassionate, bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, nuevo-gypsy, Georgian, curvy body-positive, fiercely individualistic, feminist/equalist, genderfree female-bodied person. (in no particular order) And my definitions:

spiritual: I don't adhere to any one religion, but believe in whatever resonates with me. The main belief systems I draw from are ancient Egyptian concepts (including aspects of Kemetic Orthodoxy), Native American animism, Christianity, and Buddhism (I don't know much about it but I really love Hotei). I worship God/dess, and have a relationship with several of hir personalities, of Christian and Kemetic names. Ultimately I believe God/dess is love, that the physical world is a metaphor for the spiritual world, and that we chose to come to earth to learn how to love more. I believe everything is connected, all things have a spirit and a name, and there is no such thing as a coincidence.

creative: I am one who creates. I do my best to create love in myself and others, and to pour myself out in my creations: my writing, photography, modeling, beadweaving, painting, dancing, singing -- whatever way I can. I believe that every act of creation ripples out and changes the world (as does destruction, but that in a negative way). Even if no one ever sees my art, I feel I have changed the world simply by creating it (though I think it has even more power when shared).

honest: I do my best to never lie. I think 'little white lies' are like 'little white maggots' that infest connectedness and ruin it. Even one 'little white maggot' in a bowl of soup is going to make you not want to eat it -- I feel the same way about lies. If you can't trust me on something small, how can you trust me with your heart? also, little white maggotlies are usually born from insecurity in the relationship, or lack of willingness to work out all issues. 'I don't want to offend her' or 'I don't want conflict.' Conflict is the best source of growth. I say brrrrring it oooooooon.

open: I will share myself with my friends without prompting, and I will share myself with strangers upon them showing the interest to know. I think every time one person shares themselves with another, that creates more of a connection and ripples out to affect the whole world. To me, honesty is giving truth when it is asked for (passive), and openness is offering your truth (active).

compassionate: My most intense passion in life is to learn, in order to grow, and to grow, in order to love - more deeply, more freely, more openly. I believe love is my purpose for being. The more I love people, the easier it gets, because I come to understand them more, and when you truly understand a person, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world to love them. I believe that at core we are all amazing, glorious spirits of incalculable worth. We all have a level of brokenness that keeps our spirits from being able to shine as they were meant to, but every act of love ripples out a wave of healing.

bisexual: ( ... )
polyamorous: ( ... )
partnered: ( ... )
nuevo-gypsy, Georgian: ( ... )
curvy body-positive: ( ... )
fiercely individualistic: ( ... )
feminist/equalist: ( ... )
nudist: ( ... )
genderfree female-bodied person: ( ... )

LJ idol topic 0: introduction/open topic (no voting this round!)

.



thirst of earth, carelessness of stars

send me a sign
scatter some darkness just for me,
blanket the sky and let me be enfolded
bring thunder, bring lightning,
bring the rain

dust wafts in my throat
my lips stick to my teeth,
my tongue to the roof of my mouth
fizz-pop! open, the slightest moisture teases my skin
lemons and limes scent the air,
beaded droplets coat tall clear glasses.
I watch, feel as others gulp and sigh, satisfied.
I swallow sand
and choke bitterly.

I tilt my head back, stare accusingly at the empty sky --
a sky selfishly devoid of presents or even promises.
The stars sparkle laughingly at me,
flaunting their nakedness.
Not for me will they don cloud-robes and lightning-jewelry.

.



thirst of earth, carelessness of stars

send me a sign
scatter some darkness just for me,
blanket the sky and let me be enfolded
bring thunder, bring lightning,
bring the rain

dust wafts in my throat
my lips stick to my teeth,
my tongue to the roof of my mouth
fizz-pop! open, the slightest moisture teases my skin
lemons and limes scent the air,
beaded droplets coat tall clear glasses.
I watch, feel as others gulp and sigh, satisfied.
I swallow sand
and choke bitterly.

I tilt my head back, stare accusingly at the empty sky --
a sky selfishly devoid of presents or even promises.
The stars sparkle laughingly at me,
flaunting their nakedness.
Not for me will they don cloud-robes and lightning-jewelry.

.



thirst of earth, carelessness of stars

send me a sign
scatter some darkness just for me,
blanket the sky and let me be enfolded
bring thunder, bring lightning,
bring the rain

dust wafts in my throat
my lips stick to my teeth,
my tongue to the roof of my mouth
fizz-pop! open, the slightest moisture teases my skin
lemons and limes scent the air,
beaded droplets coat tall clear glasses.
I watch, feel as others gulp and sigh, satisfied.
I swallow sand
and choke bitterly.

I tilt my head back, stare accusingly at the empty sky --
a sky selfishly devoid of presents or even promises.
The stars sparkle laughingly at me,
flaunting their nakedness.
Not for me will they don cloud-robes and lightning-jewelry.

the weather is insanely beautiful right now... I wish I could bottle it up and share it. I love the ever-changing moods of summer in Georgia: the rainy brightness of early summer, the heavy embrace of baking heat in high summer, and the sweet airiness of late summer. Even though it doesn't match today's weather, I want to share this poem I wrote years ago... every summer, the words of this poem drift through my mind.

Heavy Heat

I step out
and taste the moist hot breath
the earth breathes
solemn.

I ease my eyelids lower,
brush my lashes
against the day.

A light wind stirs the boiling dust,
tosses it: myriad petal kisses on my skin.
I suck it in, in, i i i i n n n,
deep into my lungs.

The heat brings oceans to me —
each wave with salty oily sweat
mists my delighted body.

And I taste flecks of sunshine
with each claydust-coated puff of air,
on each honeysuckle droplet,
and each breath of growing grass.

                  ©Belenen 07.15.02

the weather is insanely beautiful right now... I wish I could bottle it up and share it. I love the ever-changing moods of summer in Georgia: the rainy brightness of early summer, the heavy embrace of baking heat in high summer, and the sweet airiness of late summer. Even though it doesn't match today's weather, I want to share this poem I wrote years ago... every summer, the words of this poem drift through my mind.

Heavy Heat

I step out
and taste the moist hot breath
the earth breathes
solemn.

I ease my eyelids lower,
brush my lashes
against the day.

A light wind stirs the boiling dust,
tosses it: myriad petal kisses on my skin.
I suck it in, in, i i i i n n n,
deep into my lungs.

The heat brings oceans to me —
each wave with salty oily sweat
mists my delighted body.

And I taste flecks of sunshine
with each claydust-coated puff of air,
on each honeysuckle droplet,
and each breath of growing grass.

                  ©Belenen 07.15.02

the weather is insanely beautiful right now... I wish I could bottle it up and share it. I love the ever-changing moods of summer in Georgia: the rainy brightness of early summer, the heavy embrace of baking heat in high summer, and the sweet airiness of late summer. Even though it doesn't match today's weather, I want to share this poem I wrote years ago... every summer, the words of this poem drift through my mind.

Heavy Heat

I step out
and taste the moist hot breath
the earth breathes
solemn.

I ease my eyelids lower,
brush my lashes
against the day.

A light wind stirs the boiling dust,
tosses it: myriad petal kisses on my skin.
I suck it in, in, i i i i n n n,
deep into my lungs.

The heat brings oceans to me —
each wave with salty oily sweat
mists my delighted body.

And I taste flecks of sunshine
with each claydust-coated puff of air,
on each honeysuckle droplet,
and each breath of growing grass.

                  ©Belenen 07.15.02

desperation
(I didn't take that photo, found it on google and edited it)

Wildfires have been burning in Georgia for 6+ weeks now, burning 600,000 acres. :-( Even though it's happening pretty far from here, a few days ago I could see and smell the smoke. It makes me want to cry, thinking of the wounding of the land -- I love this state like a person, and it hurts that she's in trouble. (and I can't bear to even think of the trees) Today I felt moisture in the air for the first time in a LONG time (and I didn't sweat buckets like I have been) -- it felt so good, and I was certain it was going to rain but it didn't. I wanted to dance naked outside! I feel so frustrated that I have no place to do that. and I wish I had a tribe to do a rain dance with. Maybe I should call up Rebecca and get her to sing 'Flood' -- that always used to work. But she's in NM now, don't want them to get the rain. And according to weather.com, we're not actually due rain for another week. It doesn't help that we are in extreme drought... "Extreme drought conditions are defined as those expected once in 50 years, based on many indicators." I want to help, and can't. :-(

I've been more connected to the earth lately (lousy timing!) -- I started going outside once a day to lay on the (drying up :-() moss next to our door. I've ignored it in the past because it's not really a 'yard,' just a teeny bit of ground before the parking lot, but after trying it the first time and feeling so amazingly refreshed and revitalized, I realize that earth is earth, even if it is surrounded by concrete. And staring up at the sky and branches of the few trees around, I feel so... full. I wish I could give back.

desperation
(I didn't take that photo, found it on google and edited it)

Wildfires have been burning in Georgia for 6+ weeks now, burning 600,000 acres. :-( Even though it's happening pretty far from here, a few days ago I could see and smell the smoke. It makes me want to cry, thinking of the wounding of the land -- I love this state like a person, and it hurts that she's in trouble. (and I can't bear to even think of the trees) Today I felt moisture in the air for the first time in a LONG time (and I didn't sweat buckets like I have been) -- it felt so good, and I was certain it was going to rain but it didn't. I wanted to dance naked outside! I feel so frustrated that I have no place to do that. and I wish I had a tribe to do a rain dance with. Maybe I should call up Rebecca and get her to sing 'Flood' -- that always used to work. But she's in NM now, don't want them to get the rain. And according to weather.com, we're not actually due rain for another week. It doesn't help that we are in extreme drought... "Extreme drought conditions are defined as those expected once in 50 years, based on many indicators." I want to help, and can't. :-(

I've been more connected to the earth lately (lousy timing!) -- I started going outside once a day to lay on the (drying up :-() moss next to our door. I've ignored it in the past because it's not really a 'yard,' just a teeny bit of ground before the parking lot, but after trying it the first time and feeling so amazingly refreshed and revitalized, I realize that earth is earth, even if it is surrounded by concrete. And staring up at the sky and branches of the few trees around, I feel so... full. I wish I could give back.

desperation
(I didn't take that photo, found it on google and edited it)

Wildfires have been burning in Georgia for 6+ weeks now, burning 600,000 acres. :-( Even though it's happening pretty far from here, a few days ago I could see and smell the smoke. It makes me want to cry, thinking of the wounding of the land -- I love this state like a person, and it hurts that she's in trouble. (and I can't bear to even think of the trees) Today I felt moisture in the air for the first time in a LONG time (and I didn't sweat buckets like I have been) -- it felt so good, and I was certain it was going to rain but it didn't. I wanted to dance naked outside! I feel so frustrated that I have no place to do that. and I wish I had a tribe to do a rain dance with. Maybe I should call up Rebecca and get her to sing 'Flood' -- that always used to work. But she's in NM now, don't want them to get the rain. And according to weather.com, we're not actually due rain for another week. It doesn't help that we are in extreme drought... "Extreme drought conditions are defined as those expected once in 50 years, based on many indicators." I want to help, and can't. :-(

I've been more connected to the earth lately (lousy timing!) -- I started going outside once a day to lay on the (drying up :-() moss next to our door. I've ignored it in the past because it's not really a 'yard,' just a teeny bit of ground before the parking lot, but after trying it the first time and feeling so amazingly refreshed and revitalized, I realize that earth is earth, even if it is surrounded by concrete. And staring up at the sky and branches of the few trees around, I feel so... full. I wish I could give back.

I got a little something for shmee_ and alariya. Someone came through my line with one and I saw it and immediately thought of them both, and as soon as we had money I bought them. I can't wait to hear/read their reactions, they'll LOVE them! *is excited*

I simply CAN'T WAIT for Hannah's visit (only 86 days now!!!!!!) -- can't wait can'twaitcan'tWAIT!!! I have all these wonderful things planned!!!!


Niki Nights at the Atlanta Botanical Garden -- an exhibition of statues of oversized, often dancing, powerful women celebrating life -- shown under starlight! from the site: "The artist, Niki de Saint Phalle, boldly personified her idea of feminine empowerment in these uninhibited, colorful Nanas. Their frenetic dancing, outrageous shapes and shades have appeared in museums, advertisements and outdoor sculptural exhibits around the world."

I am incredibly excited about this because I feel that Hannah will have the exact same emotions that I will, seeing such inspiring colorful curvy art in a garden at night. And I want to share it with her alone (alone-ish, Ben will be along too but he does a very good job of fading into the background when he wants to) -- I suppose because I want to be utterly free to be awed and moved, and I think if anyone I knew other than Ben or Hannah were there, then I would temper my emotions and expressiveness. I feel that this experience will be one where we magnify each other, reflecting and increasing.

I also want to go to the Georgia Aquarium, which is brand new and the world's largest aquarium! Ben is also very excited about this. They're only open until 6pm though (extended hours end before Hannah gets here) so we'll have to get up early-ish. From the site: "The Georgia Aquarium boasts a 100 foot long tunnel (!!!) and one of the largest aquarium windows in the world with views into whale shark habitat. The second largest habitat, 800,000 gallons, was specially designed to simulate the natural habitat of beluga whales. (marshmallow heads!) ... The 4-D theater (!!!) is located in the bow of the ship on the second floor of the building." OOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooohhh and the site says that they are looking to implement an overnight program late 2006, but I suspect that means spring of 2007 -- we'll see. And maybe we can plan to go with Ben's 'rents and sibs (and Alariya) and get the group rate, because eeesk it's 'spensive.

and I want to go to Helen, browse through all the charming shops, especially the ones that sell glass art, and go tubing down the Chattahoochee -- hopefully on a hot, rainy day 'cause that's the best weather (and it means there are fewer people on the river). And I want to play on the waterslides!

A photoshoot, probably with storeyphoto, is an absolute MUST. Soooooooooo many ideas for that one -- I've been gathering inspiring shots to emulate. That is going to be SO fun and enriching.

And I reallyreallyreally want to go skinnydipping, but that might not happen... I plan to look into it though. *is sneaky* maaaaaybe at Redtop Mountain?

Aaaaalso I want to go to Brasstown Bald, the only mountain I've ever actually enjoyed hiking. The air is so sweet, and every time I have been there the weather feels like kisses on the skin. When it's hot, it's still cool under the trees... I love it. And I like the museum at the top.

And I want to go to the Etowah Indian Mounds. I have a very vivid memory of visiting it, though my parents say we never went. I am very curious... and besides, Native American history is the soul of this land, though it has never been respected. I want Hannah to get a taste of it.

and Centennial Olympic Park -- to see the water gardens and play in the fountain of rings, and possibly Woodruff Park to see the International Peace Fountain and the Phoenix Rising from the Ashes sculpture.

if any of you Atlantans have suggestions, please comment!

I got a little something for shmee_ and alariya. Someone came through my line with one and I saw it and immediately thought of them both, and as soon as we had money I bought them. I can't wait to hear/read their reactions, they'll LOVE them! *is excited*

I simply CAN'T WAIT for Hannah's visit (only 86 days now!!!!!!) -- can't wait can'twaitcan'tWAIT!!! I have all these wonderful things planned!!!!


Niki Nights at the Atlanta Botanical Garden -- an exhibition of statues of oversized, often dancing, powerful women celebrating life -- shown under starlight! from the site: "The artist, Niki de Saint Phalle, boldly personified her idea of feminine empowerment in these uninhibited, colorful Nanas. Their frenetic dancing, outrageous shapes and shades have appeared in museums, advertisements and outdoor sculptural exhibits around the world."

I am incredibly excited about this because I feel that Hannah will have the exact same emotions that I will, seeing such inspiring colorful curvy art in a garden at night. And I want to share it with her alone (alone-ish, Ben will be along too but he does a very good job of fading into the background when he wants to) -- I suppose because I want to be utterly free to be awed and moved, and I think if anyone I knew other than Ben or Hannah were there, then I would temper my emotions and expressiveness. I feel that this experience will be one where we magnify each other, reflecting and increasing.

I also want to go to the Georgia Aquarium, which is brand new and the world's largest aquarium! Ben is also very excited about this. They're only open until 6pm though (extended hours end before Hannah gets here) so we'll have to get up early-ish. From the site: "The Georgia Aquarium boasts a 100 foot long tunnel (!!!) and one of the largest aquarium windows in the world with views into whale shark habitat. The second largest habitat, 800,000 gallons, was specially designed to simulate the natural habitat of beluga whales. (marshmallow heads!) ... The 4-D theater (!!!) is located in the bow of the ship on the second floor of the building." OOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooohhh and the site says that they are looking to implement an overnight program late 2006, but I suspect that means spring of 2007 -- we'll see. And maybe we can plan to go with Ben's 'rents and sibs (and Alariya) and get the group rate, because eeesk it's 'spensive.

and I want to go to Helen, browse through all the charming shops, especially the ones that sell glass art, and go tubing down the Chattahoochee -- hopefully on a hot, rainy day 'cause that's the best weather (and it means there are fewer people on the river). And I want to play on the waterslides!

A photoshoot, probably with storeyphoto, is an absolute MUST. Soooooooooo many ideas for that one -- I've been gathering inspiring shots to emulate. That is going to be SO fun and enriching.

And I reallyreallyreally want to go skinnydipping, but that might not happen... I plan to look into it though. *is sneaky* maaaaaybe at Redtop Mountain?

Aaaaalso I want to go to Brasstown Bald, the only mountain I've ever actually enjoyed hiking. The air is so sweet, and every time I have been there the weather feels like kisses on the skin. When it's hot, it's still cool under the trees... I love it. And I like the museum at the top.

And I want to go to the Etowah Indian Mounds. I have a very vivid memory of visiting it, though my parents say we never went. I am very curious... and besides, Native American history is the soul of this land, though it has never been respected. I want Hannah to get a taste of it.

and Centennial Olympic Park -- to see the water gardens and play in the fountain of rings, and possibly Woodruff Park to see the International Peace Fountain and the Phoenix Rising from the Ashes sculpture.

if any of you Atlantans have suggestions, please comment!