So yesterday was my birthday 'party' which was fun but not a party (in my mind a party needs at least 6 people). Beforehand I worked from 8 to 3, drove home, napped, and then Topaz helped me tidy and clean and we just continued until Allison arrived. Camellia also came by, but was clearly exhausted and couldn't stay long, so the evening was me and Topaz and Allison talking about art and sexism and war and college and books, while Topaz drank whiskey and I drank damiana liquor (which was slow to get me drunk but a garrulous and happy spirit that I much enjoyed). It was not what I expected but it was really lovely; I was exhausted and while I wanted to see my people, I was dreading the arrival of anyone who would want to be entertained. Allison is not a spectator but very much a participation-oriented person so I feel like I can just be myself and if I'm boring, Allison will find a way to entertain zirself.

I didn't really think about this much before but I think some people are used to gatherings being full of distractions like TV and even if I had one, I would never have it on at a gathering unless the intent was to watch a particular show/film together. I can't stand to have stuff with words playing in the background: it splits my focus so that I cannot be involved in anything. Speaking more broadly, I find 'on in the background' to be counterproductive because I want my gatherings to be centered around community. Also, I consider absorbing media without conscious choice to be like sending out an open invitation on craigslist: you might be okay but you might also be bringing some scary shit in.

I feel pretty content about the fact that though so many people who said yes or maybe didn't show, I didn't feel slighted or upset about it. I felt a little worried that Allison or Camellia would judge me or feel awkward, but I knew that was an illogical fear and it passed pretty quickly.

today I'm starting a 22 day streak of writing daily, and you're invited to join me. it doesn't have to be 'important' or 'worth sharing' - just original content.

I hope that this will get me jump started on getting back into the habit. I need to stop "saving the good stuff for when I have time to flesh it out" and just use this like I used to, to capture moments and let me see the thread of my own thinking and memory.

My birthday is coming up, and with it, Laura's birthday. musicandmisery is my LJ friend who died last year, and this is the first time our shared birthday is just me. I had a moment today where I saw something that was at first beautiful and magical, and then I realized it could be a trick, but I loved it anyway, so I reblogged it on tumblr with the phrase "I want to believe" which I know of because I watched 8 seasons of x-files as a way to learn Laura. I thought that Laura would like the post and then realized that ze wouldn't see it, or at least I wouldn't know, and I cried at all the opportunities I thought I'd have time for but didn't. I would have gone to see zir if I had known there was danger of zir death; come hell or high water I would have found a way. but now I don't ever have the chance to hug, to cuddle, to kiss maybe (I always crushed on zir and I think there was some reciprocation). I don't have the chance to get to know zir more-  I thought there would be more time, I thought we had many years to grow closer. I feel like Laura taught me a lot in our years of indirect communication (we never had a real-time conversation, just messages and comments) and I'm still learning. I feel like I had this epiphany about what Laura loved and why in that moment of thinking "I want to believe" but I can't ask. am I embellishing or still learning? I want to believe that I am still learning.

I love you Laura. I'm sorry I didn't take more actions to show it. I miss you.

2011 was a whirlwind of growth and renewal; looking back, I cannot believe how much I've changed and how much my life has changed. I feel like I wouldn't even recognize my year-ago self. And yet so much has changed since the turn of the year... exponential change. I'm so much more fierce, nourished, confident, and aware than last year. I've created the sources for art, creativity, and intimacy that I want; I've found avenues for developing change; I've started stripping away the fear that blocked me from being a catalyst for equality.

In 2011 I gained a much deeper understanding of oppression, both historically and in its current manifestations; Kyle and I went through so many shifts, deepening our relationship and creating positive ways of managing conflict; Kyle became a feminist/equalist; I met lots of important new people; Kyle and I started doing energy work regularly on ourselves and each other; I was in continuous growth and needed rest which I didn't know how to take, so throughout the year I had several depressions and learned how to notice when I needed rest; I started hosting crafty parties! and now have a source of amazing creation in my life ♥; I met the Angel Oak, participated in a TreeSpirit shoot, and had so many incredible magical experiences with Kyle in Charleston; I realized my intersexedness in a profound way and began living it, though not sharing the details of meaning with folk (and it's still too scary to write about though I hope that will change soon); I experienced my first burn, Euphoria, and loved it -- then experienced my second, Alchemy, and did not like it; Aurilion and I had several bursts of intense connection; I fell in love with Abby and we started dating, quickly moving into a time-committed relationship; Arizona and I started dating again; Kyle and Adi started dating; I became part of the formation of a queer group on campus; I sortakinda dated Eanox for a short time; I had my first successful anti-oppression experience and felt thrilled with the possibilities of further action; I went to Transcending Boundaries with Kyle; I started forming tribe (a truly interconnected group of people all of whom were building connection with each other).

( important events in 2011 )

2011 was a whirlwind of growth and renewal; looking back, I cannot believe how much I've changed and how much my life has changed. I feel like I wouldn't even recognize my year-ago self. And yet so much has changed since the turn of the year... exponential change. I'm so much more fierce, nourished, confident, and aware than last year. I've created the sources for art, creativity, and intimacy that I want; I've found avenues for developing change; I've started stripping away the fear that blocked me from being a catalyst for equality.

In 2011 I gained a much deeper understanding of oppression, both historically and in its current manifestations; Kyle and I went through so many shifts, deepening our relationship and creating positive ways of managing conflict; Kyle became a feminist/equalist; I met lots of important new people; Kyle and I started doing energy work regularly on ourselves and each other; I was in continuous growth and needed rest which I didn't know how to take, so throughout the year I had several depressions and learned how to notice when I needed rest; I started hosting crafty parties! and now have a source of amazing creation in my life ♥; I met the Angel Oak, participated in a TreeSpirit shoot, and had so many incredible magical experiences with Kyle in Charleston; I realized my intersexedness in a profound way and began living it, though not sharing the details of meaning with folk (and it's still too scary to write about though I hope that will change soon); I experienced my first burn, Euphoria, and loved it -- then experienced my second, Alchemy, and did not like it; Aurilion and I had several bursts of intense connection; I fell in love with Abby and we started dating, quickly moving into a time-committed relationship; Arizona and I started dating again; Kyle and Adi started dating; I became part of the formation of a queer group on campus; I sortakinda dated Eanox for a short time; I had my first successful anti-oppression experience and felt thrilled with the possibilities of further action; I went to Transcending Boundaries with Kyle; I started forming tribe (a truly interconnected group of people all of whom were building connection with each other).

( important events in 2011 )

a drawing titled "Adolescence" by Norman Lindsay
& a fractal titled "Conception" by sideoutman:



2010 was such a huge year that I'm intimidated by the idea of trying to sum it up, but combining "Conception" and "Adolescence" is a good start. The fractal is expressive of a coiled, freshly-created energy and purpose, which I certainly conceived in 2010. The drawing (oh Norman Lindsay I love you <3) is full of exploration and communication and relating. I see myself in quite a few of the characters, and the harpies and sphinxes with their worshipful open faces speak to me of turning lack and mystery into love and knowledge. The horned characters make me especially happy, as the presence of Pan in my life this year has been quiet but oh-so-profound.

Last January I declared 2010 the year of passion, and oh GOD/DESS yes it was! both good and bad kinds. It started off with a BANG -- hate (which I hadn't felt in years) and fury (over the ex-partner), followed by a few months of stress and worry (mostly over finances), then a few days of delirious happiness (in an almost-triad with strong energetic exchange), then depression and anger (break-up pain and mistreatment), then an explosion of sheer joy (Arizona!) which increased (Serendipity!) and increased (Chip!) and increased (Kyle!) for two months, then contentment and productivity (living & working with Serendipity), then stress and shifting (school again! culture shock, not dating justben actively), then horrible pain (herpes AGH), then exploring/adventuring inspired by Kyle (meeting more people, going new places, having more sexperiences), then an emotional breakdown as I finally reach my coping limit (so much change! so much intensity!), then my first burn-type event!, then breaking up with Arizona, then lots of intoxication with dancing and kissing, and lots of friendship exploration (mostly in Kyle's social group).

Or, most everything I expressed gratitude for at the beginning of the year. It was DEFINITELY "filled with all the love and sex and joy and passion and boldness" that I could handle -- and I was able to handle more than I thought possible. And I certainly met more people with whom I connect deeply, and learned more about sex and the role it is to play in my life. And for the first time, I've experienced being satisfied by the amount of loving touch I get, and for the first time since the Wynnes I've felt fully understood and appreciated and accepted and desired. And I've become more comfortable sharing my art (I did photoshoots! with people I didn't know well at the time!) and became healthier. The only thing that I feel didn't increase is my understanding of my spiritual connection with nature and having my lil sis live with/near me, so those move to my 2011 presumptuous thanks :D

( important events in 2010 )

a drawing titled "Adolescence" by Norman Lindsay
& a fractal titled "Conception" by sideoutman:



2010 was such a huge year that I'm intimidated by the idea of trying to sum it up, but combining "Conception" and "Adolescence" is a good start. The fractal is expressive of a coiled, freshly-created energy and purpose, which I certainly conceived in 2010. The drawing (oh Norman Lindsay I love you <3) is full of exploration and communication and relating. I see myself in quite a few of the characters, and the harpies and sphinxes with their worshipful open faces speak to me of turning lack and mystery into love and knowledge. The horned characters make me especially happy, as the presence of Pan in my life this year has been quiet but oh-so-profound.

Last January I declared 2010 the year of passion, and oh GOD/DESS yes it was! both good and bad kinds. It started off with a BANG -- hate (which I hadn't felt in years) and fury (over the ex-partner), followed by a few months of stress and worry (mostly over finances), then a few days of delirious happiness (in an almost-triad with strong energetic exchange), then depression and anger (break-up pain and mistreatment), then an explosion of sheer joy (Arizona!) which increased (Serendipity!) and increased (Chip!) and increased (Kyle!) for two months, then contentment and productivity (living & working with Serendipity), then stress and shifting (school again! culture shock, not dating justben actively), then horrible pain (herpes AGH), then exploring/adventuring inspired by Kyle (meeting more people, going new places, having more sexperiences), then an emotional breakdown as I finally reach my coping limit (so much change! so much intensity!), then my first burn-type event!, then breaking up with Arizona, then lots of intoxication with dancing and kissing, and lots of friendship exploration (mostly in Kyle's social group).

Or, most everything I expressed gratitude for at the beginning of the year. It was DEFINITELY "filled with all the love and sex and joy and passion and boldness" that I could handle -- and I was able to handle more than I thought possible. And I certainly met more people with whom I connect deeply, and learned more about sex and the role it is to play in my life. And for the first time, I've experienced being satisfied by the amount of loving touch I get, and for the first time since the Wynnes I've felt fully understood and appreciated and accepted and desired. And I've become more comfortable sharing my art (I did photoshoots! with people I didn't know well at the time!) and became healthier. The only thing that I feel didn't increase is my understanding of my spiritual connection with nature and having my lil sis live with/near me, so those move to my 2011 presumptuous thanks :D

( important events in 2010 )

FINALLY I FEEL LIKE WRITING. Oh this will be quite the looooong rambly entry. I'll put it (mostly) in a lj-cut list!

( have been sick )

On a much happier note, the past two days have been HEAVENLY WARM and today driving home from work I looked at the spring green in the trees and actually started crying with joy (and am tearing up now thinking on it). Oh God/dess, the sun is back, my lover has not deserted me forever. I cannot express the intensity of my relief at feeling spring finally open up for me. Spring and summer is such magic for me... every year I get to the end of winter and wonder how I survived for months without green I can taste and heat that fills my bones and sunlight that actually touches me and breezes that sneak under the heat to lick my skin. OH GOD/DESS SUMMER IS COMING I can live again. I want to bury my fingers in warm soil and burn myself with sun-kisses and stream with heat-lust and breathe in the sex of trees. Oh my God. I love Georgian summers maybe more than I've ever loved a person. I can live without an individual person but I really think I would wither and die without these summers.

( Ash is spilling over sexual/romantic energy on me )

( I buzzed my hair which has had a strange affect on my self-image )

( feeling like a bore )

( specialness from my birthday )

( Kate and Kay sent me AMAZING MULTI-PRESENTS )

I am sheerly spoilt with amazing friends! I loooove you!

FINALLY I FEEL LIKE WRITING. Oh this will be quite the looooong rambly entry. I'll put it (mostly) in a lj-cut list!

( have been sick )

On a much happier note, the past two days have been HEAVENLY WARM and today driving home from work I looked at the spring green in the trees and actually started crying with joy (and am tearing up now thinking on it). Oh God/dess, the sun is back, my lover has not deserted me forever. I cannot express the intensity of my relief at feeling spring finally open up for me. Spring and summer is such magic for me... every year I get to the end of winter and wonder how I survived for months without green I can taste and heat that fills my bones and sunlight that actually touches me and breezes that sneak under the heat to lick my skin. OH GOD/DESS SUMMER IS COMING I can live again. I want to bury my fingers in warm soil and burn myself with sun-kisses and stream with heat-lust and breathe in the sex of trees. Oh my God. I love Georgian summers maybe more than I've ever loved a person. I can live without an individual person but I really think I would wither and die without these summers.

( Ash is spilling over sexual/romantic energy on me )

( I buzzed my hair which has had a strange affect on my self-image )

( feeling like a bore )

( specialness from my birthday )

( Kate and Kay sent me AMAZING MULTI-PRESENTS )

I am sheerly spoilt with amazing friends! I loooove you!

"Curl and Tangle, Color and Thorn" by me:



This is a photo I took on a trip with Ben to Big Trees in November. It expresses the entire year to me -- the sharp pains and vibrant joys, and most of all the crazy tangled unforseeability of it. And the focus too -- not seeing far behind or much ahead. Oh, what a wild ride.

I dedicated 2009 to risk-taking (since the focus of 2008 became faith-building instead) and I feel that I fully met that goal. I practiced living in the moment, doing things because they feel right without concern for how they might turn sour; being with Viv, going to San Francisco, deciding to end my partnership with [ex], beginning a relationship with Ben, moving in with Ash, hanging out with people I didn't know well and didn't feel miraculously connected to, couchsurfing, driving a rental car. Those are all things I wouldn't have done a year ago out of a habit of thinking "but what if bad stuff happens."

This year brought me the greatest disappointment and the greatest joy I've ever experienced. It's been such a blend, every joy right next to suffering (and vice versa). This is the first year I have had local friends since I was 20, and the first time in my life I've had a sense of community, an actual CIRCLE of people whom I love and feel that I belong with. It used to be so rare that I spent time with friends that every single time was intensely noteworthy and now it has become NORMAL to me! I feel immensely rich. I get hugs at least every single week -- after YEARS of feeling like a leper because no one touched me. I speak and people listen and care and respond -- after years of having no one to talk with in person (well, no one who cared about the same things or was very interested in my thoughts). I am so profoundly grateful. Thank you Deity, thank you universe, thank you localtribe, thank you everyone and everything!

( important events in 2009 )

"Curl and Tangle, Color and Thorn" by me:



This is a photo I took on a trip with Ben to Big Trees in November. It expresses the entire year to me -- the sharp pains and vibrant joys, and most of all the crazy tangled unforseeability of it. And the focus too -- not seeing far behind or much ahead. Oh, what a wild ride.

I dedicated 2009 to risk-taking (since the focus of 2008 became faith-building instead) and I feel that I fully met that goal. I practiced living in the moment, doing things because they feel right without concern for how they might turn sour; being with Viv, going to San Francisco, deciding to end my partnership with [ex], beginning a relationship with Ben, moving in with Ash, hanging out with people I didn't know well and didn't feel miraculously connected to, couchsurfing, driving a rental car. Those are all things I wouldn't have done a year ago out of a habit of thinking "but what if bad stuff happens."

This year brought me the greatest disappointment and the greatest joy I've ever experienced. It's been such a blend, every joy right next to suffering (and vice versa). This is the first year I have had local friends since I was 20, and the first time in my life I've had a sense of community, an actual CIRCLE of people whom I love and feel that I belong with. It used to be so rare that I spent time with friends that every single time was intensely noteworthy and now it has become NORMAL to me! I feel immensely rich. I get hugs at least every single week -- after YEARS of feeling like a leper because no one touched me. I speak and people listen and care and respond -- after years of having no one to talk with in person (well, no one who cared about the same things or was very interested in my thoughts). I am so profoundly grateful. Thank you Deity, thank you universe, thank you localtribe, thank you everyone and everything!

( important events in 2009 )

Birthdays are really, really important to me. I feel like they're the day when people say "Your birth and how it led to you in my life is a cause for celebration!" I write down people's birthdays on my calendar and get reminders sent to me with birthdayalarm, and even if I don't say anything, I always think of the person on their birthday and feel grateful for them. I used to make posts specifically about birthdays but I stopped doing it because every now and then I would miss someone's birthday and then worry that they felt they were unimportant to me. But I do want to try harder to actually SAY something instead of just thinking it because I get really hurt when people don't say anything to me or treat my birthday as special.

Yesterday was the worst one I can remember. ( depressing complaints, please don't read if you hate whining )

Birthdays are really, really important to me. I feel like they're the day when people say "Your birth and how it led to you in my life is a cause for celebration!" I write down people's birthdays on my calendar and get reminders sent to me with birthdayalarm, and even if I don't say anything, I always think of the person on their birthday and feel grateful for them. I used to make posts specifically about birthdays but I stopped doing it because every now and then I would miss someone's birthday and then worry that they felt they were unimportant to me. But I do want to try harder to actually SAY something instead of just thinking it because I get really hurt when people don't say anything to me or treat my birthday as special.

Yesterday was the worst one I can remember. ( depressing complaints, please don't read if you hate whining )

after Mel, Jasmine, Jenny, Berry, and Namid all tagged me on facebook I figured OKAY FINE YOU ASKED FOR IT. Plus like 6 more of you have done it here! *jumps on bandwagon*

1. The problem with me doing things like this is that I can never manage to be succinct. Interesting, since when I was writing for classes I always fell short of the length requirements, and I couldn't pad it out with fluff... maybe I just can't write less than a paragraph or more than a few pages, heh.

( 24 more, cut for leeeeeeeeeeeength! )

after Mel, Jasmine, Jenny, Berry, and Namid all tagged me on facebook I figured OKAY FINE YOU ASKED FOR IT. Plus like 6 more of you have done it here! *jumps on bandwagon*

1. The problem with me doing things like this is that I can never manage to be succinct. Interesting, since when I was writing for classes I always fell short of the length requirements, and I couldn't pad it out with fluff... maybe I just can't write less than a paragraph or more than a few pages, heh.

( 24 more, cut for leeeeeeeeeeeength! )

after Mel, Jasmine, Jenny, Berry, and Namid all tagged me on facebook I figured OKAY FINE YOU ASKED FOR IT. Plus like 6 more of you have done it here! *jumps on bandwagon*

1. The problem with me doing things like this is that I can never manage to be succinct. Interesting, since when I was writing for classes I always fell short of the length requirements, and I couldn't pad it out with fluff... maybe I just can't write less than a paragraph or more than a few pages, heh.

( 24 more, cut for leeeeeeeeeeeength! )

Since the beginning of this month I have had much higher energy than usual! (you probably noticed, with the increased rate of posting) It feels really good, like I'm going through a shedding of skin -- uncomfortable, definitely, but when I step back and look at it as a whole, something positive is happening.

Today's a sacred day for me -- 8/8/8 -- and this month is also. The numbers 8, 11, or 13 appear in my life to mark things I am to pay close attention to, so today is a day of strong meaning for me. (my 10th spiritual birthday is 11/13/08! and my 5th LJ anniversary is 08/29/08 at 11:13 -- that was not intentional, btw, that 'just happened' to be the time I created my LJ. I can't even count all the times that things like that have happened) I wish I had some idea of how to make the most of it, some idea of a ritual. Usually I just try to stay as aware as possible and watch for signs throughout the day. (just looked at the clock and it's 8:08!)

also, Happy Birthday Deborah!
In your honor, a bizarrely hilarious song:

Since the beginning of this month I have had much higher energy than usual! (you probably noticed, with the increased rate of posting) It feels really good, like I'm going through a shedding of skin -- uncomfortable, definitely, but when I step back and look at it as a whole, something positive is happening.

Today's a sacred day for me -- 8/8/8 -- and this month is also. The numbers 8, 11, or 13 appear in my life to mark things I am to pay close attention to, so today is a day of strong meaning for me. (my 10th spiritual birthday is 11/13/08! and my 5th LJ anniversary is 08/29/08 at 11:13 -- that was not intentional, btw, that 'just happened' to be the time I created my LJ. I can't even count all the times that things like that have happened) I wish I had some idea of how to make the most of it, some idea of a ritual. Usually I just try to stay as aware as possible and watch for signs throughout the day. (just looked at the clock and it's 8:08!)

also, Happy Birthday Deborah!
In your honor, a bizarrely hilarious song:

Since the beginning of this month I have had much higher energy than usual! (you probably noticed, with the increased rate of posting) It feels really good, like I'm going through a shedding of skin -- uncomfortable, definitely, but when I step back and look at it as a whole, something positive is happening.

Today's a sacred day for me -- 8/8/8 -- and this month is also. The numbers 8, 11, or 13 appear in my life to mark things I am to pay close attention to, so today is a day of strong meaning for me. (my 10th spiritual birthday is 11/13/08! and my 5th LJ anniversary is 08/29/08 at 11:13 -- that was not intentional, btw, that 'just happened' to be the time I created my LJ. I can't even count all the times that things like that have happened) I wish I had some idea of how to make the most of it, some idea of a ritual. Usually I just try to stay as aware as possible and watch for signs throughout the day. (just looked at the clock and it's 8:08!)

also, Happy Birthday Deborah!
In your honor, a bizarrely hilarious song:

Happy Birthday redarmy_pariah!!! I hope it is absolutely amazingly wonderful, like you deserve ;-)

I can't remember if I ever thanked you for the AMAZING gifts you sent me, which is shameful because they were overwhelmingly loving and thoughtful! The sketch you did of Angelina is GORGEOUS and so very accurate! (I need to take a photo so I can show it off here) You are outrageously talented, missy! And the ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead is the most beautiful copy I have ever seen -- fantastic color images, readable print, in a large non-hardcover size (thus easy to read)! I had been wanting one for untold ages and never even come across one so beautiful. and I loved the dragonflies! and then of course the bat puppet, like baby-bel fell in love with all those ages ago -- omg, that made my eyes well up! ♥ I really hope someone makes you feel as special today as you made me feel the day I got your present *hugs!*

Happy Birthday redarmy_pariah!!! I hope it is absolutely amazingly wonderful, like you deserve ;-)

I can't remember if I ever thanked you for the AMAZING gifts you sent me, which is shameful because they were overwhelmingly loving and thoughtful! The sketch you did of Angelina is GORGEOUS and so very accurate! (I need to take a photo so I can show it off here) You are outrageously talented, missy! And the ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead is the most beautiful copy I have ever seen -- fantastic color images, readable print, in a large non-hardcover size (thus easy to read)! I had been wanting one for untold ages and never even come across one so beautiful. and I loved the dragonflies! and then of course the bat puppet, like baby-bel fell in love with all those ages ago -- omg, that made my eyes well up! ♥ I really hope someone makes you feel as special today as you made me feel the day I got your present *hugs!*

Happy Birthday redarmy_pariah!!! I hope it is absolutely amazingly wonderful, like you deserve ;-)

I can't remember if I ever thanked you for the AMAZING gifts you sent me, which is shameful because they were overwhelmingly loving and thoughtful! The sketch you did of Angelina is GORGEOUS and so very accurate! (I need to take a photo so I can show it off here) You are outrageously talented, missy! And the ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead is the most beautiful copy I have ever seen -- fantastic color images, readable print, in a large non-hardcover size (thus easy to read)! I had been wanting one for untold ages and never even come across one so beautiful. and I loved the dragonflies! and then of course the bat puppet, like baby-bel fell in love with all those ages ago -- omg, that made my eyes well up! ♥ I really hope someone makes you feel as special today as you made me feel the day I got your present *hugs!*

I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I've had such a full week! Sunday I went to church (*pats self on back for being awake at appropriate time*) and though the service didn't really give me anything, I went for energy healing afterwards and WOW, that was amazing. There were several healers, all of whom had different styles. One person did deep breathing with me, which was intense and so relaxing. She also cleansed my aura, which was the most surreal feeling -- she made plucking motions in the air around me and I could FEEL those things being removed, almost like the feeling when someone pulls a splinter out. More of a noticing of the space it leaves behind than actually feeling the thing itself. I was really curious as to whether she was actually seeing my aura and the bits that didn't belong, or just sensing, but I didn't think to ask afterwards because I was so overwhelmed. After she finished and passed on to another person, my right shoulder suddenly started hurting. The next healer came along and without me saying anything, touched the very spot that was hurting and held it for a minute, and then it stopped hurting. He had a different method, using two fingers of each hand to lightly touch random places on my body, like the inside of my elbows, my neck, my ankles. It felt very honoring, and his energy reminded me so much of Spencer. One more person worked on me, mostly by holding her hands in certain places about three inches out from my body. She passed one hand in front of my face and I thought it was a candle, it gave off so much heat! I opened my eyes, a little concerned at why they'd be putting flame so close to me, but it was her hand! I was really awed by that. After she did the radiating-energy-into-me thing, she stood behind me and swept her fingers over my forehead, around my ears, and under my chin, with a little flicking motion at the end. I cannot describe how amazingly relieving that felt! it was like a complete massage, each time.

Then Tuesday was my 'birthday' ( all the stuff I did! )

Thursday I got up early, which is miraculous in itself, and because of that I was able to get in contact with fionavere and meet her on her way through Atlanta! I drove into the city alone, which is a very big deal for me, and I didn't even get very nervous. I'm really happy about that, as it fulfilled several of my goals in one swoop -- getting more comfortable driving new places alone, making ATL more my city, and most importantly meeting an lj friend! Anyway, we had lunch/coffee together while her two little ones amused themselves (I was impressed at how well-behaved they were! and they got along so well) and the time just flew by as we talked about everything from spirituality to politics to education. The one thing I was not prepared for was how freaking gorgeous she is in person! She's a fellow curvygirls member so I've seen plenty of photos, but in person her self just shines through so much more -- she's beautiful in photos but utterly stunning in person. At the end of the lunch she invited me to come visit her in FL, which I definitely intend to do. Not sure when, but maybe as soon as April! There's just so many people I want to go visit and I don't have the funds for everyone, dammit.


me and Katie!

I've had such a full week! Sunday I went to church (*pats self on back for being awake at appropriate time*) and though the service didn't really give me anything, I went for energy healing afterwards and WOW, that was amazing. There were several healers, all of whom had different styles. One person did deep breathing with me, which was intense and so relaxing. She also cleansed my aura, which was the most surreal feeling -- she made plucking motions in the air around me and I could FEEL those things being removed, almost like the feeling when someone pulls a splinter out. More of a noticing of the space it leaves behind than actually feeling the thing itself. I was really curious as to whether she was actually seeing my aura and the bits that didn't belong, or just sensing, but I didn't think to ask afterwards because I was so overwhelmed. After she finished and passed on to another person, my right shoulder suddenly started hurting. The next healer came along and without me saying anything, touched the very spot that was hurting and held it for a minute, and then it stopped hurting. He had a different method, using two fingers of each hand to lightly touch random places on my body, like the inside of my elbows, my neck, my ankles. It felt very honoring, and his energy reminded me so much of Spencer. One more person worked on me, mostly by holding her hands in certain places about three inches out from my body. She passed one hand in front of my face and I thought it was a candle, it gave off so much heat! I opened my eyes, a little concerned at why they'd be putting flame so close to me, but it was her hand! I was really awed by that. After she did the radiating-energy-into-me thing, she stood behind me and swept her fingers over my forehead, around my ears, and under my chin, with a little flicking motion at the end. I cannot describe how amazingly relieving that felt! it was like a complete massage, each time.

Then Tuesday was my 'birthday' ( all the stuff I did! )

Thursday I got up early, which is miraculous in itself, and because of that I was able to get in contact with fionavere and meet her on her way through Atlanta! I drove into the city alone, which is a very big deal for me, and I didn't even get very nervous. I'm really happy about that, as it fulfilled several of my goals in one swoop -- getting more comfortable driving new places alone, making ATL more my city, and most importantly meeting an lj friend! Anyway, we had lunch/coffee together while her two little ones amused themselves (I was impressed at how well-behaved they were! and they got along so well) and the time just flew by as we talked about everything from spirituality to politics to education. The one thing I was not prepared for was how freaking gorgeous she is in person! She's a fellow curvygirls member so I've seen plenty of photos, but in person her self just shines through so much more -- she's beautiful in photos but utterly stunning in person. At the end of the lunch she invited me to come visit her in FL, which I definitely intend to do. Not sure when, but maybe as soon as April! There's just so many people I want to go visit and I don't have the funds for everyone, dammit.


me and Katie!

I've had such a full week! Sunday I went to church (*pats self on back for being awake at appropriate time*) and though the service didn't really give me anything, I went for energy healing afterwards and WOW, that was amazing. There were several healers, all of whom had different styles. One person did deep breathing with me, which was intense and so relaxing. She also cleansed my aura, which was the most surreal feeling -- she made plucking motions in the air around me and I could FEEL those things being removed, almost like the feeling when someone pulls a splinter out. More of a noticing of the space it leaves behind than actually feeling the thing itself. I was really curious as to whether she was actually seeing my aura and the bits that didn't belong, or just sensing, but I didn't think to ask afterwards because I was so overwhelmed. After she finished and passed on to another person, my right shoulder suddenly started hurting. The next healer came along and without me saying anything, touched the very spot that was hurting and held it for a minute, and then it stopped hurting. He had a different method, using two fingers of each hand to lightly touch random places on my body, like the inside of my elbows, my neck, my ankles. It felt very honoring, and his energy reminded me so much of Spencer. One more person worked on me, mostly by holding her hands in certain places about three inches out from my body. She passed one hand in front of my face and I thought it was a candle, it gave off so much heat! I opened my eyes, a little concerned at why they'd be putting flame so close to me, but it was her hand! I was really awed by that. After she did the radiating-energy-into-me thing, she stood behind me and swept her fingers over my forehead, around my ears, and under my chin, with a little flicking motion at the end. I cannot describe how amazingly relieving that felt! it was like a complete massage, each time.

Then Tuesday was my 'birthday' ( all the stuff I did! )

Thursday I got up early, which is miraculous in itself, and because of that I was able to get in contact with fionavere and meet her on her way through Atlanta! I drove into the city alone, which is a very big deal for me, and I didn't even get very nervous. I'm really happy about that, as it fulfilled several of my goals in one swoop -- getting more comfortable driving new places alone, making ATL more my city, and most importantly meeting an lj friend! Anyway, we had lunch/coffee together while her two little ones amused themselves (I was impressed at how well-behaved they were! and they got along so well) and the time just flew by as we talked about everything from spirituality to politics to education. The one thing I was not prepared for was how freaking gorgeous she is in person! She's a fellow curvygirls member so I've seen plenty of photos, but in person her self just shines through so much more -- she's beautiful in photos but utterly stunning in person. At the end of the lunch she invited me to come visit her in FL, which I definitely intend to do. Not sure when, but maybe as soon as April! There's just so many people I want to go visit and I don't have the funds for everyone, dammit.


me and Katie!

after 10 years of waiting, today I opened the letter that I wrote to myself when I was 15. (there was a tear in the envelope from when I almost gave in to the temptation of reading it years ago) I'm a little disappointed because I thought I had written predictions, but instead I had described myself as I was then -- complete with a list of favorite bands and likes/dislikes. It's a little embarrassing (oh my obsession with Elijah Wood) and quite a bit funny ("You're not married yet, I hope.") My plan for when I grew up was to "either be a president or an actress, but above all an artist." This was apparently before I decided that responsibility for leading a whole country was too much stress. The whole tone of the letter reminds me SO MUCH of my lil sis. *giggles* She definitely takes after me rather than her parents.

The best part: "I shall dream and learn as much as possible." I would say that that is the only part that is still true. ♥

after 10 years of waiting, today I opened the letter that I wrote to myself when I was 15. (there was a tear in the envelope from when I almost gave in to the temptation of reading it years ago) I'm a little disappointed because I thought I had written predictions, but instead I had described myself as I was then -- complete with a list of favorite bands and likes/dislikes. It's a little embarrassing (oh my obsession with Elijah Wood) and quite a bit funny ("You're not married yet, I hope.") My plan for when I grew up was to "either be a president or an actress, but above all an artist." This was apparently before I decided that responsibility for leading a whole country was too much stress. The whole tone of the letter reminds me SO MUCH of my lil sis. *giggles* She definitely takes after me rather than her parents.

The best part: "I shall dream and learn as much as possible." I would say that that is the only part that is still true. ♥

after 10 years of waiting, today I opened the letter that I wrote to myself when I was 15. (there was a tear in the envelope from when I almost gave in to the temptation of reading it years ago) I'm a little disappointed because I thought I had written predictions, but instead I had described myself as I was then -- complete with a list of favorite bands and likes/dislikes. It's a little embarrassing (oh my obsession with Elijah Wood) and quite a bit funny ("You're not married yet, I hope.") My plan for when I grew up was to "either be a president or an actress, but above all an artist." This was apparently before I decided that responsibility for leading a whole country was too much stress. The whole tone of the letter reminds me SO MUCH of my lil sis. *giggles* She definitely takes after me rather than her parents.

The best part: "I shall dream and learn as much as possible." I would say that that is the only part that is still true. ♥

Thank you to Hannah for my first virtual gift ever! I've been wanting one since they came out and now at last my wish has been fulfilled. ;-)



It's my birthday! send me a bubble of love. (you don't have to sign up -- just click anonymous and add your name to the message itself)

also, since it's spoil-me-day, all comments must be in the form of haiku! (thank kevloid2008 for that :D)

Thank you to Hannah for my first virtual gift ever! I've been wanting one since they came out and now at last my wish has been fulfilled. ;-)



It's my birthday! send me a bubble of love. (you don't have to sign up -- just click anonymous and add your name to the message itself)

also, since it's spoil-me-day, all comments must be in the form of haiku! (thank kevloid2008 for that :D)

Thank you to Hannah for my first virtual gift ever! I've been wanting one since they came out and now at last my wish has been fulfilled. ;-)



It's my birthday! send me a bubble of love. (you don't have to sign up -- just click anonymous and add your name to the message itself)

also, since it's spoil-me-day, all comments must be in the form of haiku! (thank kevloid2008 for that :D)

belated Happy Birthday to sabr, _paroxysm_, and wrecked_heart! I may have missed saying it, but I saw your names on my little mini-calendar and thought of you all day. *lovelove*

I've been strange lately! waking up at 5am and then falling asleep about 12 hours later! My waking cycle is usually at least 18 hours, not 12. I have no idea why I've been so drained... bleh! but anyway. The penii rant is almost finished & will be posted soon *giggles* thanks to everyone who voted! I was excited to see who was most interested in what.

Last night I dreamed that I met two faeries, one who was about my height, without wings, and had skin that was like mine but opalescent, and a small blue-skinned blue-haired one, about knee height, who had wings and glowed blue with sparkles. The glow had defined edges, it wasn't like the glow of a lamp. The taller one gave me a glowing seed of a tree to plant and the smaller one came along with me to help me plant the seed. We were in Ben's parent's neighborhood (sorta) and one of the houses had a tree that I wanted to show to the faery, so we walked into their side yard. The tree was huuuge, much taller than the house, and some of the branches were partly hollow, with an open-weave side. I was very excited because the faery could live there, and she'd be much closer to my house (which was also in the neighborhood) and the larger faery could live there too. So she climbed it and looked around, also very excited, because it would be a really good home tree. I looked into the house and saw this red-headed girl messing with the fire in the fireplace. She looked like she was amused by something, in a kind of sardonic way. I felt like that was a good sign, and we decided to leave. When we got to the road the tall faery was with us again, and as we were walking by, this really old nasty cranky guy came out of the house and told us that we "better not come back and mess with [his] property anymore." (there was a girl and boy peeking past him at us as he stood in the doorway) I got very angry, but noticing a 'for sale' sign in the yard, I restrained myself and bent over to whisper to the blue faery that it doesn't matter because he's moving soon anyway. He shouldn't have been able to hear me but somehow did and said "oh really? it doesn't matter because we're moving out soon?" and I turned and furiously screamed at him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and then we kept on walking. Then we were suddenly in a car, going up the hill, and at the top of the hill we stopped, and started taking stuff out of the car. Some friends had come to meet us and they asked "why are you upset?" so I started telling them the story, and then Ben woke me up.

hm, this has turned into a very dreamy journal lately... I had thought of making a dream journal, but I like seeing where the dreams fit in my life. These recent ones have all had very strong significance, so I haven't lj-cut them, but I may if this keeps up. This is the fourth dream involving trees ♥ and I feel like I am learning something, though I haven't figured out what yet.

belated Happy Birthday to sabr, _paroxysm_, and wrecked_heart! I may have missed saying it, but I saw your names on my little mini-calendar and thought of you all day. *lovelove*

I've been strange lately! waking up at 5am and then falling asleep about 12 hours later! My waking cycle is usually at least 18 hours, not 12. I have no idea why I've been so drained... bleh! but anyway. The penii rant is almost finished & will be posted soon *giggles* thanks to everyone who voted! I was excited to see who was most interested in what.

Last night I dreamed that I met two faeries, one who was about my height, without wings, and had skin that was like mine but opalescent, and a small blue-skinned blue-haired one, about knee height, who had wings and glowed blue with sparkles. The glow had defined edges, it wasn't like the glow of a lamp. The taller one gave me a glowing seed of a tree to plant and the smaller one came along with me to help me plant the seed. We were in Ben's parent's neighborhood (sorta) and one of the houses had a tree that I wanted to show to the faery, so we walked into their side yard. The tree was huuuge, much taller than the house, and some of the branches were partly hollow, with an open-weave side. I was very excited because the faery could live there, and she'd be much closer to my house (which was also in the neighborhood) and the larger faery could live there too. So she climbed it and looked around, also very excited, because it would be a really good home tree. I looked into the house and saw this red-headed girl messing with the fire in the fireplace. She looked like she was amused by something, in a kind of sardonic way. I felt like that was a good sign, and we decided to leave. When we got to the road the tall faery was with us again, and as we were walking by, this really old nasty cranky guy came out of the house and told us that we "better not come back and mess with [his] property anymore." (there was a girl and boy peeking past him at us as he stood in the doorway) I got very angry, but noticing a 'for sale' sign in the yard, I restrained myself and bent over to whisper to the blue faery that it doesn't matter because he's moving soon anyway. He shouldn't have been able to hear me but somehow did and said "oh really? it doesn't matter because we're moving out soon?" and I turned and furiously screamed at him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and then we kept on walking. Then we were suddenly in a car, going up the hill, and at the top of the hill we stopped, and started taking stuff out of the car. Some friends had come to meet us and they asked "why are you upset?" so I started telling them the story, and then Ben woke me up.

hm, this has turned into a very dreamy journal lately... I had thought of making a dream journal, but I like seeing where the dreams fit in my life. These recent ones have all had very strong significance, so I haven't lj-cut them, but I may if this keeps up. This is the fourth dream involving trees ♥ and I feel like I am learning something, though I haven't figured out what yet.

belated Happy Birthday to sabr, _paroxysm_, and wrecked_heart! I may have missed saying it, but I saw your names on my little mini-calendar and thought of you all day. *lovelove*

I've been strange lately! waking up at 5am and then falling asleep about 12 hours later! My waking cycle is usually at least 18 hours, not 12. I have no idea why I've been so drained... bleh! but anyway. The penii rant is almost finished & will be posted soon *giggles* thanks to everyone who voted! I was excited to see who was most interested in what.

Last night I dreamed that I met two faeries, one who was about my height, without wings, and had skin that was like mine but opalescent, and a small blue-skinned blue-haired one, about knee height, who had wings and glowed blue with sparkles. The glow had defined edges, it wasn't like the glow of a lamp. The taller one gave me a glowing seed of a tree to plant and the smaller one came along with me to help me plant the seed. We were in Ben's parent's neighborhood (sorta) and one of the houses had a tree that I wanted to show to the faery, so we walked into their side yard. The tree was huuuge, much taller than the house, and some of the branches were partly hollow, with an open-weave side. I was very excited because the faery could live there, and she'd be much closer to my house (which was also in the neighborhood) and the larger faery could live there too. So she climbed it and looked around, also very excited, because it would be a really good home tree. I looked into the house and saw this red-headed girl messing with the fire in the fireplace. She looked like she was amused by something, in a kind of sardonic way. I felt like that was a good sign, and we decided to leave. When we got to the road the tall faery was with us again, and as we were walking by, this really old nasty cranky guy came out of the house and told us that we "better not come back and mess with [his] property anymore." (there was a girl and boy peeking past him at us as he stood in the doorway) I got very angry, but noticing a 'for sale' sign in the yard, I restrained myself and bent over to whisper to the blue faery that it doesn't matter because he's moving soon anyway. He shouldn't have been able to hear me but somehow did and said "oh really? it doesn't matter because we're moving out soon?" and I turned and furiously screamed at him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and then we kept on walking. Then we were suddenly in a car, going up the hill, and at the top of the hill we stopped, and started taking stuff out of the car. Some friends had come to meet us and they asked "why are you upset?" so I started telling them the story, and then Ben woke me up.

hm, this has turned into a very dreamy journal lately... I had thought of making a dream journal, but I like seeing where the dreams fit in my life. These recent ones have all had very strong significance, so I haven't lj-cut them, but I may if this keeps up. This is the fourth dream involving trees ♥ and I feel like I am learning something, though I haven't figured out what yet.

Happy Birthday kmiotutsie!!!

You are such an amazing friend and I feel so incredibly lucky to have you in my life! ♥ Thank you for being there for me, and most of all thank you for being your fantastic self -- creative, positive, openminded and adaptive. You inspire me and teach me in ways that no one else can. I love you Firekat!

Happy Birthday kmiotutsie!!!

You are such an amazing friend and I feel so incredibly lucky to have you in my life! ♥ Thank you for being there for me, and most of all thank you for being your fantastic self -- creative, positive, openminded and adaptive. You inspire me and teach me in ways that no one else can. I love you Firekat!

Happy Birthday kmiotutsie!!!

You are such an amazing friend and I feel so incredibly lucky to have you in my life! ♥ Thank you for being there for me, and most of all thank you for being your fantastic self -- creative, positive, openminded and adaptive. You inspire me and teach me in ways that no one else can. I love you Firekat!

A few weeks ago I rearranged our bedroom, turning it from a place I hated to a place I love! Ben is much happier too -- now it feels like we have two rooms instead of only the living room. I created a photo-tour of my bedroom, because a video would require clothing due to the mirrors. And this is easier!

( photo-tour of my bedroom )

And now I shriek with joy because OMG PRESENTS!!!! From Kate (clown_frog) and Firekat (kmiotutsie)!!! Kate sent me a glitter bar (YAY!!!! glitter-wearing is so magical ♥), giant purple bath-fizzy ball, HENNA kit (can't wait to try it!), a bunch of stick-on wooden ladybugs (ladybugs always remind me of my childhood, I remember seeing a family of them in the bark of a tree and being absolutely delighted), cinnamon votives (that REALLY SMELL LIKE CINNAMON OMG, and strong too!!! I am going to use them in my sanctuary ♥ ♥ ♥), and best of all, a clear violet glass perfume vial. It is so incredibly delicate and wonder-of-all-wonders, made it here perfectly intact! All the way from Scotland! And that is magic from God/dess if I have ever seen it.

( the delicate violet-tinted vial! )

And from Firekat!!! A Mercedes Lackey book (a staple of fantasy reading, whom I've never tried!), Inga Muscio's Cunt (borrowed and read most of it, now yay I can finish it! plus who wouldn't want Cunt on her shelf?), a GORGEOUS mini-journal with handmade paper and a vivid-violet & burgandy cover, three lovely deep purple agate slices, and... a violet and emerald translucent glass gazing ball!!! also completely undamaged! I am soooooo loved!!! Firekat said she prayed that it would get here safely, and it's perfect. ♥ I'm awed!

( the violet & emerald glass ball! )

A few weeks ago I rearranged our bedroom, turning it from a place I hated to a place I love! Ben is much happier too -- now it feels like we have two rooms instead of only the living room. I created a photo-tour of my bedroom, because a video would require clothing due to the mirrors. And this is easier!

( photo-tour of my bedroom )

And now I shriek with joy because OMG PRESENTS!!!! From Kate (clown_frog) and Firekat (kmiotutsie)!!! Kate sent me a glitter bar (YAY!!!! glitter-wearing is so magical ♥), giant purple bath-fizzy ball, HENNA kit (can't wait to try it!), a bunch of stick-on wooden ladybugs (ladybugs always remind me of my childhood, I remember seeing a family of them in the bark of a tree and being absolutely delighted), cinnamon votives (that REALLY SMELL LIKE CINNAMON OMG, and strong too!!! I am going to use them in my sanctuary ♥ ♥ ♥), and best of all, a clear violet glass perfume vial. It is so incredibly delicate and wonder-of-all-wonders, made it here perfectly intact! All the way from Scotland! And that is magic from God/dess if I have ever seen it.

( the delicate violet-tinted vial! )

And from Firekat!!! A Mercedes Lackey book (a staple of fantasy reading, whom I've never tried!), Inga Muscio's Cunt (borrowed and read most of it, now yay I can finish it! plus who wouldn't want Cunt on her shelf?), a GORGEOUS mini-journal with handmade paper and a vivid-violet & burgandy cover, three lovely deep purple agate slices, and... a violet and emerald translucent glass gazing ball!!! also completely undamaged! I am soooooo loved!!! Firekat said she prayed that it would get here safely, and it's perfect. ♥ I'm awed!

( the violet & emerald glass ball! )

A few weeks ago I rearranged our bedroom, turning it from a place I hated to a place I love! Ben is much happier too -- now it feels like we have two rooms instead of only the living room. I created a photo-tour of my bedroom, because a video would require clothing due to the mirrors. And this is easier!

( photo-tour of my bedroom )

And now I shriek with joy because OMG PRESENTS!!!! From Kate (clown_frog) and Firekat (kmiotutsie)!!! Kate sent me a glitter bar (YAY!!!! glitter-wearing is so magical ♥), giant purple bath-fizzy ball, HENNA kit (can't wait to try it!), a bunch of stick-on wooden ladybugs (ladybugs always remind me of my childhood, I remember seeing a family of them in the bark of a tree and being absolutely delighted), cinnamon votives (that REALLY SMELL LIKE CINNAMON OMG, and strong too!!! I am going to use them in my sanctuary ♥ ♥ ♥), and best of all, a clear violet glass perfume vial. It is so incredibly delicate and wonder-of-all-wonders, made it here perfectly intact! All the way from Scotland! And that is magic from God/dess if I have ever seen it.

( the delicate violet-tinted vial! )

And from Firekat!!! A Mercedes Lackey book (a staple of fantasy reading, whom I've never tried!), Inga Muscio's Cunt (borrowed and read most of it, now yay I can finish it! plus who wouldn't want Cunt on her shelf?), a GORGEOUS mini-journal with handmade paper and a vivid-violet & burgandy cover, three lovely deep purple agate slices, and... a violet and emerald translucent glass gazing ball!!! also completely undamaged! I am soooooo loved!!! Firekat said she prayed that it would get here safely, and it's perfect. ♥ I'm awed!

( the violet & emerald glass ball! )