Profile

on friending and removing:
Add away! my journal is 95% public, and I certainly don't mind you adding me. If you want me to add you back, please comment on my latest entry to let me know you added me: LJ has been really bad about not letting me know when people add me. I love the chance of a new friendship! I'm also not offended if you add me and then change your mind after a little while.

I regularly unfriend people who haven't posted in a while if we haven't made a solid connection yet. If you come back to LJ, or if you still use your journal to read/comment, please let me know and I will re-add you. If you are still active and I have unfriended you, it is most likely because you use harmful language such as slurs or rape 'jokes,' or you refer to stereotypes like they are fact. If you're not sure or just curious, ask and I'll explain.

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Note: Underage users should not view this journal, as it contains material that is occasionally of an adult nature.
· instagram· my fractal prints· my magic items· my beadweaving· deviantart· flickr· last.fm·
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"Revolution begins with the self, in the self." -- Toni Cade Bambara

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my self-labels and beliefs
I'm a queer, genderfree & trans, polyamorous, fat & proud, demisexual, honest, open, poor, spiritual, Southern, Georgian, sensitive, resilient, pro-conflict, & woman-read questioner, nudist, social justice activist, tree-hugger (literally & figuratively), eclectic pagan Quaker, content creator, vegetarian (for ecological reasons), energy-worker, non-neurotypical ADD-PI thinker, consent advocate, color/light worshipper, photographer, art catalyst, jewelry maker, fractal artist, erotic mirror (vaguely similar to a switch), psychonaut, xenite, writer, coffee clergyperson, experimenter, growth-seeker, and meta-burner (connected tightly w burner community but it is not my home for many reasons). I have a comprehensive about me which is a bit more in-depth than this profile.

I'm white, usually read as cisgender, college-educated, and non-disabled, and I'm open to people checking me on my privilege.

I believe in justice, spirit, magic, critical analysis, mindful touch, asking, bold emotion, creating/living art, colors, nudity, giving, self-love, working shit out, & Georgia.

my core values and how I live them
My core values are justice, respect, reverence/wonder, connection/compassion, imperfection/action, honesty, curiosity/questioning, transparency/openness, creativity, growth/change, & thoroughness. Right now I'm in school with the goal of getting a job that makes significant money so that I can support the work of those who are creating a more just world. I also donate from my (currently puny) earnings, participate in direct action, and spend a lot of time self-educating and talking back to privilege. To live respect, I strive to avoid infringing on the will of others and I educate others on consent practices. For the sake of reverence, I try to approach all things as if they are magic and alive; I try not to own any things which I do not have an intentional relationship with; I try to see the beauty in all things; I strive never to squelch the wonder of another. For connection, I seek to have empathy for all people, to nurture efforts people make to develop their empathy, and to honor connections when I feel them. For imperfect action, I try to notice when I am avoiding doing something out of fear of imperfection and I push myself to do what I can even if that is not good enough. For honesty, I do my best to avoid deception, whether indirect or direct. Curiosity/questioning leads me to always ask why, especially when the answer is usually assumed. For openness, I try to volunteer vulnerable information about myself, especially when the options are to do this or pull away from the person. Creativity as a value means that I create for its own sake, and try to do this often and in small ways as well as large ones. Growth/change means that I will never be satisfied: I can always do better next time. Thoroughness leads me to ask within each situation, "how can I do this in a way that is the most complete?"

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. ! . important posts . ! .

· intimacy: ways of creating it & an outline of my intimacy practices         · my relationship w/ language; my beliefs on words & how I speak         · on use of 'lame''gay''retarded' etc. as insults or negative expressions         · sexually violent language, the word 'rape'&'curse words'         · how I apologize when I hurt someone: empathize, explain, change         · If I'm wrong, tell me - and check for misunderstandings         · 6 principles to body-love: my experiences and methods         · parts of a person -- spirit, heart, soul, mind, and body         · how I value impermanence and infinity to equal degrees         · tithing to my causes: equality, freedom (legal & spiritual), art, earth         · my generosity is sustained by appreciation & killed by expectation         · my spirit-shapes: snow leopard, egyptian cobra, american river otter

· why break-ups should be treated like graduations, not like death         · negotiating expectations / ending relationships is a vital skill         · on jealousy, fear, loneliness, envy, threat, and disconnection         · eye contact is intensely intimate and nourishing for me         · the difference between openness and honesty         · LJ journey to openness & honesty; my love for nudity         · my decision to use genderfree language         · discussing genderfree language         · love & affection         · soulfriendship         · expressing pain vs. complaining         · on talking about a person behind zir back

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what you'll find in my LJ: - happenings with emotional significance and why they matter to me. - writing on injustice and privilege with the goal of breaking them down. - analysing patterns in myself or society or relationships. - my spirituality and how I invest in it. - dreams (mine are often EPIC); occasionally with interpretations. - skillsharing, especially when I learn a skill for relationships &/or consent. - polls & interactive memes; me seeking to learn more of you. - my core values and progress toward goals based on them. - photo posts; myself, my art, occasionally my friends. - art & music; sometimes I share some of my artistic inspirations. I aim to write daily and usually end up writing 2 or 3 times a week. Almost everything is public: I occasionally lock things that are about work or friends who want privacy.

what I want to read on my friends list: - everything in the categories that I write in, especially if the intention is openness and honesty. - stuff that is free from slurs. I look for LJ friends who are very self-aware and growth-focused: taking in other people's self-examination is exceedingly inspiring to me. I also want LJ friends to share at least the "justice" and "respect" part of my core values (the more we share the better, but those two are necessary). I want LJ friends who notice the evil injustice in the world and react by doing their best to make it better. I aim to read my flist daily but usually end up going on a several-hour readathon once or twice a week (I read very fast).

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what you'll get from me as a friend: - I'll be honest and open with you; call me on it if you think I'm not living up to this. - I'll encourage you to pursue your goals and remind you of your worth. - I'll help you when I can, with whatever resources I can spare. - If we build connection, I will work shit out with you if you make a mistake (I am excellent at handling conflict with compassion). - I'll skillshare and practice with you so we can develop our empathy and intimacy. - I'll share my creativity in the hopes of inspiring you. - I'll do my best to educate myself on any differences between you and I, especially if the difference privileges me. - If I hurt you accidentally and you tell me, I will do my best to not hurt you like that again. - If we have compatible spiritualities, I will do ritual and practice with you (if you want).

warnings and disclaimers:
Language is extremely important; it shapes our thoughts. If you value using any word that comes to mind without considering the consequences, don't bother adding me.

I won't invest in a person who uses slurs. If you're okay with saying that someone was b*tching about their st*pid day with all its cr*zy experiences, we're not likely to get along. If you don't get why that is a problem, here's where I explain: slurs are still very harmful when they are aimed at a situation/action/thing instead of a person / TW: slurs and we can't be friends if you use slurs because it damages me & breaks my trust in you / TW: slurs and slurs are both harmful and not expressive: say what you actually mean instead / TW: slurs.

Other language issues that I object to and will unfriend people over include using rape 'jokes' or referring to stereotypes like they are fact (such as saying that girls like pink or that being assertive is masculine). Making light of rape is harmful. Affirming stereotypes is harmful. If I REALLY like you or if I just have extra energy at that moment, I'll talk to you about your language. If I am not invested or if I have recently made a post on the topic, I'll just take you off my list.

Also I sometimes post nudity, I have no TMI filter, I use the word 'fuck' a lot, and I do not understand social assumptions regarding privacy.

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When I can, I donate to these excellent organizations:
Angel Oak Preserve: saving an ancient live oak from habitat destruction,
Ultraviolet: signalboosting against sexism to make real, fast change,
First Peoples Worldwide: direct assistance to Indigenous peoples,
Sylvia Rivera Law Project: working against poverty & over-incarceration of trans people,
Oyate: publishing true stories to combat all the falsehood,
Full Radius Dance: local creative mixed-ability dance,
Big Trees Forest Preserve: local greenspace that I love,
The Snow Leopard Trust: protecting endangered snow leopards
Lake Oconee B.A.C.A. chapter: helping abused children feel safe,
American Indian College Fund: balancing educational opportunity for Native students,
Hispanic Scholarship Fund: balancing educational opportunity for Hispanic students,
UNCF: balancing educational opportunity for all students of color,
Georgia Equality: LGBTQ advocacy in GA,
CHRIS Kids: for homeless LGBTQ kids, &
Legal Momentum: women's legal defense and education fund

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My permanent account was generously given by:
clown_frog, shadowlily, rescoto, brightlotusmoon, roina_arwen, bellerisa, spindell,
shioneh, lorelei_sakti, smurfb1ue, aubkabob, &wallbrat! I'm eternally grateful.
// Icons with copyright notices are images of Belenen. // Photo in userinfo is © Belenen. //

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