Words and actions are like clothing; we can express ourselves with them, but they cannot describe the person we are. They can hint, they can shout, but they cannot sum us up. People are simply too complex, and too much of us exists in a place where no one can see actions or hear words. The only label that has any worth is our self-label: the words we choose to dress ourselves in. And even those have no worth until we explain our own meaning for them.

On that note, here are the words I wear: spiritual, creative, honest, open, compassionate, bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, nuevo-gypsy, Georgian, curvy body-positive, fiercely individualistic, feminist/equalist, genderfree female-bodied person. (in no particular order) And my definitions:

spiritual: I don't adhere to any one religion, but believe in whatever resonates with me. The main belief systems I draw from are ancient Egyptian concepts (including aspects of Kemetic Orthodoxy), Native American animism, Christianity, and Buddhism (I don't know much about it but I really love Hotei). I worship God/dess, and have a relationship with several of hir personalities, of Christian and Kemetic names. Ultimately I believe God/dess is love, that the physical world is a metaphor for the spiritual world, and that we chose to come to earth to learn how to love more. I believe everything is connected, all things have a spirit and a name, and there is no such thing as a coincidence.

creative: I am one who creates. I do my best to create love in myself and others, and to pour myself out in my creations: my writing, photography, modeling, beadweaving, painting, dancing, singing -- whatever way I can. I believe that every act of creation ripples out and changes the world (as does destruction, but that in a negative way). Even if no one ever sees my art, I feel I have changed the world simply by creating it (though I think it has even more power when shared).

honest: I do my best to never lie. I think 'little white lies' are like 'little white maggots' that infest connectedness and ruin it. Even one 'little white maggot' in a bowl of soup is going to make you not want to eat it -- I feel the same way about lies. If you can't trust me on something small, how can you trust me with your heart? also, little white maggotlies are usually born from insecurity in the relationship, or lack of willingness to work out all issues. 'I don't want to offend her' or 'I don't want conflict.' Conflict is the best source of growth. I say brrrrring it oooooooon.

open: I will share myself with my friends without prompting, and I will share myself with strangers upon them showing the interest to know. I think every time one person shares themselves with another, that creates more of a connection and ripples out to affect the whole world. To me, honesty is giving truth when it is asked for (passive), and openness is offering your truth (active).

compassionate: My most intense passion in life is to learn, in order to grow, and to grow, in order to love - more deeply, more freely, more openly. I believe love is my purpose for being. The more I love people, the easier it gets, because I come to understand them more, and when you truly understand a person, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world to love them. I believe that at core we are all amazing, glorious spirits of incalculable worth. We all have a level of brokenness that keeps our spirits from being able to shine as they were meant to, but every act of love ripples out a wave of healing.

bisexual: ( ... )
polyamorous: ( ... )
partnered: ( ... )
nuevo-gypsy, Georgian: ( ... )
curvy body-positive: ( ... )
fiercely individualistic: ( ... )
feminist/equalist: ( ... )
nudist: ( ... )
genderfree female-bodied person: ( ... )

LJ idol topic 0: introduction/open topic (no voting this round!)

desperation
(I didn't take that photo, found it on google and edited it)

Wildfires have been burning in Georgia for 6+ weeks now, burning 600,000 acres. :-( Even though it's happening pretty far from here, a few days ago I could see and smell the smoke. It makes me want to cry, thinking of the wounding of the land -- I love this state like a person, and it hurts that she's in trouble. (and I can't bear to even think of the trees) Today I felt moisture in the air for the first time in a LONG time (and I didn't sweat buckets like I have been) -- it felt so good, and I was certain it was going to rain but it didn't. I wanted to dance naked outside! I feel so frustrated that I have no place to do that. and I wish I had a tribe to do a rain dance with. Maybe I should call up Rebecca and get her to sing 'Flood' -- that always used to work. But she's in NM now, don't want them to get the rain. And according to weather.com, we're not actually due rain for another week. It doesn't help that we are in extreme drought... "Extreme drought conditions are defined as those expected once in 50 years, based on many indicators." I want to help, and can't. :-(

I've been more connected to the earth lately (lousy timing!) -- I started going outside once a day to lay on the (drying up :-() moss next to our door. I've ignored it in the past because it's not really a 'yard,' just a teeny bit of ground before the parking lot, but after trying it the first time and feeling so amazingly refreshed and revitalized, I realize that earth is earth, even if it is surrounded by concrete. And staring up at the sky and branches of the few trees around, I feel so... full. I wish I could give back.

augh! I've been feeling so crappy the past few days :-( I'm really worried about whether or not Hannah will be able to come over when I want her to. She has to do some stuff to get her passport renewed, which takes time, and I want to hurry up and get tickets, but not until I know she'll be able to use them! argh! I miss her so damn much, it's been 9 months since I have seen her, my soulfriend. I want her here SOON, I don't want to wait! There are so many wonderful things I have planned for us to do together. So everyone please, please, PLEASE pray or send positive energy or good thoughts, so that she will be able to get everything in order in time for us to get affordable tickets to get her here June 13th.

I miss my Firekat too, it was so wonderful having her here... and I miss 'Kenzy and Meliae, who haven't been on to chat in ages (enough that I am starting to worry!) and I miss SabR and Kazi and and and... :-(

I made a necklace/earring set the other day (before this nasty lethargy set in) but I don't have the motivation to photograph it, so poo.

random thing I said in a community today: I live in a world that does not allow many to create a 'true' gypsy lifestyle, but that does not mean I am not a gypsy. I am a gypsy who has been separated from my scattered tribe and trapped in a disconnected, money-driven world, where my creations and innovation are not enough to feed and clothe me (without also tying me down). I don't know my bloodline, and I might live in the same place for a while, but my heart is eternally wandering, free, wild, not recognizing 'ownership' of things and land and people, not recognizing borders, refusing to be pinned to one way of living. And it is my heart that defines me. One day I hope to have my outer life match my inner, but even if that never happens, I will always be a gypsy. (I feel like saving this and turning it into a real post, but I do that too much, which is why I have a whole pile of incomplete posts. Instead I will share it in its raw form)

I need cuddles :-(