In response to LJ-feedback's questions:

What are the main reasons you use LiveJournal?
1) It is a community of people who share their thoughts and feelings in a deep and meaningful way.
2) the LJ culture encourages reaching out to strangers. Not just in communities, but generally as well. I have always felt that to offer LJ friendship is to give a compliment, because for many people that is a key to their inner world. (my journal is public so I just leave the door open)
3) I have years of history here and love LJ for the way it has changed my life for the better, and I have a fantastic and fairly prolific flist.
4) see ALL of the reasons listed below also.

What are the things you love best about us? What are the features you like most? What makes LiveJournal special to you? In your opinion, what do we have that other places don't?
These are all kinda the same question so I'm going to answer this from the perspective of "what functional parts does LJ offer that others do not?"

( 17 reasons )

I didn't do that bad this month with posting every day, but I missed 8 days so I didn't do great either. I really want to share daily, so I'm going to share little bits and pieces on purpose, instead of just as filler. Here's something I wrote in response to someone claiming that when it comes to oppression, they mind their own business and put on a happy mindset:

The problem is that minding your own business is at least half of the reason that evil continues. If people minded their own business, there would be no child labor laws, no true citizenry for anyone other than white landowning men, and it would still be legal to for a man to rape a woman so long as he had the proper document (slave papers, marriage license). And there are widespread horrific problems today, like the prison industrial complex that is basically a new form of slavery. To mind one's own business while others suffer is to condone the evil that makes them suffer. So we have to learn, and we have to pay attention to people other than ourselves, find out what is needed to stop the suffering. If you are not the one suffering you can't figure out how to fix it: only those with the experience can tell you what will work.

Along the same lines, I feel if you watch someone suffer and do nothing, you are WORSE than the perpetrator. I say this because I felt far more betrayed by those who saw and did nothing than I did by the people who actually sexually abused me. Bystanders should absolutely be prosecuted as accessories to any violent crime, unless there is reasonable fear for their own safety. In a crowd of bystanders saying nothing and doing nothing while watching one person assault another without a weapon, all those pieces of shit should be thrown in prosecuted as much as the one who did it. Make that a law and there would be far fewer shitty people condoning rape and other hate crimes.

I've been doing a whole lot of interacting on facebook and that feels rather like screaming into a void, because those threads happen and are buried and forgotten. I want to be more consistent about saving my comments and putting them in my LJ.

My ideal comment is interactive: where you engage with what I've written. This can be through sharing something about yourself that my entry made you reflect on (#1 favorite), or sharing your emotional response to the post, or disagreeing with something I've said, or asking for clarification about something, or asking a question that delves deeper into what I've written (not all of my posts are worthy of interactive comments, heh). Expressing your care for me is always wonderful too. I do appreciate any comment that you take the time to make, because it lets me know that you are reading and you value my words. I do not expect comments on my posts or replies to comments I leave: they're a bonus. So please never feel guilty or anything for not commenting, and if I commented something that you don't feel a desire to respond to, feel free to skip it.

There is only one kind of comment I actively dislike, and that is unrequested advice. Please, never say "you should do ___" because it will make me feel disrespected, like you think that you can make better choices for me than I can. Feel free to tell me about similar experiences, but don't assume that I haven't already tried the thing you're thinking of. Also, if I ever give you unrequested advice, feel free to tell me off about it -- I won't get defensive, I'll just apologize and try to do better. I try not to give unrequested advice, but sometimes I yield to the impulse! which is why I understand when others do it, even though I don't like it.

On other people's posts, I tend to comment only if I have something to say, so if all I can think of is "I see" or "I agree" or "huh, interesting" then I probably won't comment. But I do read, carefully. On comments on my journal, I always INTEND to comment back but it tends to not happen in any kind of timely manner, and once it's old enough I don't do it at all. I want to get better at this because some of the comments I REALLY want to respond to. I need to let myself skip some comments instead of being fixated on doing them in order. I very much read and appreciate your responses though!

LJ is asking for feedback about a potential 'like'ing system. My response: people who have something to say will still comment. This allows people to show that they read it even if they don't have anything meaningful to add. I would much appreciate this and I think my friends list would too. and I think you should call it a "nod." That's the emotional feel of it.

I would love to get 'nods' on my post to let me know who read it and appreciated it. LOVE LOVE. I used to have a tracker that I could sorta kinda use that way but this would be much more accurate. If you agree please go over there and add your voice -- they put this post up YESTERDAY but the first commenters were negative so they're scrapping the idea, wtf.

(there is also a place to give feedback on the site redesign -- which they are planning on forcing! switching back is only because it is in beta! please tell them NO.)

Livejournal: this is my favorite method of communication. It makes me feel no pressure; other people can respond to someone's post and so when I fail to respond it doesn't get taken as a personal slight, so I can have access without the potential for guilt. I can respond whenever I like without worrying that it is the wrong time of day or that it has been too long since the thought was shared. I also prefer to have people read my journal to learn me, more than any other method, because the quality and accuracy of my sharing is a lot better in words I have typed. I feel that people don't really know me if they don't read my journal. It's a kind of intimacy I need because it's the only kind of sharing that doesn't get trapped in my ADD and end up draining as much as it nourishes. I feel loved when someone reads my journal, when they comment, when they write in their own journal and I can read it, and when they reply to my comments in their journal. All of these build on each other and so LJ is a huge source of love and connection for me. I also feel loved by myself when I write, which is deeply important for my well-being.

Face to face: second favorite, because I can read people's energy and I can feel connected in an immediate and easy-to monitor kind of way. I can feel relaxed that I am not upsetting people because if I was, I would see it happening (most of the time). I can feel assured that they care because of their body language. The drawbacks to this is that if I am sharing something that is difficult to put into words, there are lots of pauses and stares into middle distance and wait-back-ups and I feel frustrated with it so I imagine that the other person will too. It is also more work because I feel the need to monitor every reaction, and because I have to work hard to keep up most of the time (ADD makes my brain want to go in five directions with every sentence and in-person conversation is like trying to keep a puppy walking in a straight line on the sidewalk. In writing it's like trying to get a puppy to walk a straight line down a tube: much easier because of far fewer distractions. (I probably would enjoy conversations more with a notepad and pen, now that I think of it. (because in-person all of these parentheticals have to not exist. (I wonder if you could find the ADD people on LJ by sheer number of parentheticals)))) So, in person is highly nourishing but also draining. A shared activity and/or cuddles help, because the shared activity makes it easier to focus, and the cuddles make it more nourishing, so it balances better.

Texting: third favorite, because (with most people) I don't feel obligated to respond immediately or at a certain time of day. I have a neat little list in my phone that makes it not so hard to remember to reply. This isn't super nourishing to me most of the time, but it also usually doesn't take much work, so it balances out. It does make me feel nourished when I have a good texting relationship with someone, where we randomly inform each other of things happening throughout the day (had that with Kylei at one point and currently have it with Topaz: we text each other approximately 30 times a day (each)), but I don't know if that would work with more than one person at a time, or with people who don't have similar texting habits.

Email/messaging: I enjoy email; it gives me a similar feeling to LJ, but it's fourth on my list because people almost always expect a response and it is VERY easy for emails to get buried and forgotten. I've been trying to weed out unnecessary notifications and subscriptions but I still get shittons of emails every day. I start feeling guilty VERY fast if I don't respond so I have a lot of anxiety around emails. Highly nourishing (if it's a long conversation) and highly stressful. Note: I VASTLY prefer people to email me rather than send me messages on FB/LJ/etc, because messages get lost and I can't search them.

Gtalk/Skype/Hangouts: I like these equally for different reasons. Skype gives me the facial expressions and nonverbal sounds that make me feel connected and understanding, but gtalk gives me a log I can reread and use as external memory. This needs to be scheduled, because I do not feel able to disconnect randomly and therefore I need to make sure I don't have something else I have to do. Also I have to be home because I don't generally take my laptop out of the house.

Facebook/twitter/tumblr/etc: I enjoy interacting with people in these places but it's not a priority for me. I watch a lot of people on all those places and so I can't keep up with everything. Occasionally I'll be curious about a friend and go read all of their recent stuff, but it's totally random. However, I have a small handful of people on facebook whose stuff I watch more carefully: they're either LJers or people I wish would LJ.

Phonetalking: I do not like this unless it is scheduled. The only exception is when someone is in crisis or there is a time-sensitive matter to be discussed. I will not answer the phone if you call me randomly, unless you text first and explain that you are in crisis or there's a time-sensitive matter. Not only do I get very low signal when I am at home, I can't do anything else while I'm on the phone so I need to be in a place where I don't feel the pressure of things to do or it will just build anxiety. When I schedule phone-talks I have to be out of the house. It is EXTREMELY frustrating to me when a call drops: I usually exclaim loudly with anger the first time and if it happens again in the same conversation I literally shout with rage (unless I am in public).

Letters: I love writing these but I hate exchanging them because I really cannot predict when I will feel up to it.

I started writing an up-to-date "characters in the story of my life" post, spent about 3 hours on it and will probably finish it tomorrow. I feel really good about it. Godde, this daily writing thing has just opened me up again and made things that were daunting come within my grasp. I kinda can't believe I'm actually getting this stuff done! I know from the outside it doesn't look like much but it's moving into my home again, it's feeling expressive again. In addition to getting stuck on perfection, I spent so much time either busy or depressed that I just couldn't write. I think I've been better since last November, but before that was almost two years of struggling just to maintain. Even my photo-taking is not as clear a picture of my inner self as my journal.

I'm seriously considering hiring someone to tag my entries- it bugs me that they're not done but it's SO tedious. I'd need someone I super trusted though, because this is literally my soul outside my body.

I finally, FINALLY, re-wrote and refreshed my userinfo. It had been over FOUR YEARS, not sure how many exactly, since I had substantially edited it. It feels so good -- like my living room had been completely untouched for four years as stacks of stuff accumulated and bits disappeared from shelves and everything got covered in dust, and then I just went in like a hurricane and dusted and rearranged everything into sparkling fresh tidiness. Except more so, because my userinfo is much more relevant to my identity than my living room. I feel so much more at home now in LJ, and I feel encouraged also because I found some awesome people to add, and I feel like maybe LJ is finally picking up again -- the addme communities are more prolific than they have been in a long time. I think I spent a total of 8+ hours doing all of that. A good chunk of that time was compiling a linklist of my most important posts, so I'm gonna go ahead and share most of those:

· intimacy: ways of creating it & an outline of my intimacy practices         · my relationship w/ language; my beliefs on words & how I speak         · on use of 'lame' 'gay' 'retarded' etc. as insults or negative expressions         · sexually violent language, the word 'rape' & 'curse words'         · how I apologize when I hurt someone: empathize, explain, change         · If I'm wrong, tell me - and check for misunderstandings         · 6 principles to body-love: my experiences and methods         · parts of a person -- spirit, heart, soul, mind, and body         · how I value impermanence and infinity to equal degrees         · tithing to my causes: equality, freedom (legal & spiritual), art, earth         · my generosity is sustained by appreciation & killed by expectation         · my spirit-shapes: snow leopard, egyptian cobra, american river otter         · why break-ups should be treated like graduations, not like death         · negotiating expectations / ending relationships is a vital skill         · on jealousy, fear, loneliness, envy, threat, and disconnection         · eye contact is intensely intimate and nourishing for me         · the difference between openness and honesty         · LJ journey to openness & honesty; my love for nudity

I have a particular style of journaling; most of my posts are "this happened [in detail] and this is how it made me feel and these are the philosophical/spiritual/relational thoughts it inspired. [in a looooong post]" And that's the sort of journal I prefer to read, also, as it almost invariably inspires me both emotionally and mentally. For years I had several friends who posted primarily in that style -- first Anika, Ash, & Kate; then Hannah, Meliae, & Ava; then Aurilion, J, & Andie. (everyone I friend has some element of this, but they're the ones who did it the most) Now some of those have moved to other journaling sites or have changed posting style or very rarely post or have taken an indefinite hiatus, and I feel rather tenuously connected to LJ. I miss Hannah the most -- a post that takes at least half an hour to read (at least four full-screen-length paragraphs) and an hour to reply to, THAT is my kind of post! I can sink into it, live it. (sharing photos is a big part of that too) Ohhh I miss that SO much. And it makes me really sad because without that I've lost a lot of my passion for LJ. I comment really rarely now even though I read everything and often hit the reply page -- I just feel disconnected from LJ itself. And what's more annoying is that I've stopped replying to comments in MY journal. I want to find some way to revitalize my love for LJ. I think it'll involve finding new people with whom to form that sort of intellectual foursome, which seems to be unlikely amounts of too-perfect. (says the faithless one) I need to at least make an effort -- I have a permanent account f'cryin'outloud, I don't want it to go to waste.

With LJ, I only friend people who post often and in a style I like, because otherwise I'll just end up skimming their posts and I'll feel like I'm lying to them by having them on my flist but not reading them. But I friend most everyone who requests it on facebook, because I don't have the same goal there. With LJ, I want to develop real friendships; with facebook, I just want to keep in contact and get to know people. I'm open to developing friendships via facebook, of course, but I don't feel I'm setting a goal of friendship by adding someone there.

( facebook and twitter )

Thank you for contacting us about this matter. We became aware of an issue which involved the most popular interests list over this past weekend. The list has been restored to the proper format today.

We apologize, and this will not happen again. It was never the intention to insult anyone or to make a judgment on the content of these interests.

Marta
LiveJournal.com

hurray! :D thanks so much to everyone who sent them a note. I checked it and it's true. ;-) Still waiting for explanation, but a response is good.

Thank you for contacting us about this matter. We became aware of an issue which involved the most popular interests list over this past weekend. The list has been restored to the proper format today.

We apologize, and this will not happen again. It was never the intention to insult anyone or to make a judgment on the content of these interests.

Marta
LiveJournal.com

hurray! :D thanks so much to everyone who sent them a note. I checked it and it's true. ;-) Still waiting for explanation, but a response is good.

SUP has censored several interests including BISEXUALITY and faeries from their list of most popular interests. Stewardess writes:

"Using the wayback machine, I was able to compare Livejournal popular interests from May, 2007, with those of today. In order of size, these are the interests 6A/SUP has disappeared from the daily popular interests report:

Sex, Boys, Girls, Fanfiction, Yaoi, Hardcore, Porn, Bondage, Faeries, Pain, Depression, and Bisexuality.

I confirmed the interest faeries leads to GLBT links, along with a sprinkling of Spenser study groups, pagans, and collectors of winged dolls. Since Wicca was not censored from the most popular interests, it's clear who 6A/SUP is going after."

Help me do something about this. Click here and enter in this text (edit the last paragraph to suit you):

I just discovered that SUP has removed these interests: "Sex, Boys, Girls, Fanfiction, Yaoi, Hardcore, Porn, Bondage, Faeries, Pain, Depression, Bisexuality" from LJ's daily popular interests report, and I am outraged by this censorship. I want LJ to reflect its users, not the prejudices of its owners. I have seen a large number of my friends moving to another journaling site, with more threatening to do the same, and I think that LJ needs to pay attention to this before it loses a large chunk of its paying customers.

I am a _______ (plus, paid, permanent, basic, early adopter) account holder, and if I left, you would be losing the revenue I bring in by ________ (viewing ads, paying yearly, inviting new people to join LJ).

of course, you can also just write your own text. and re-post this! I want to see it FLOOD my flist because I want LJ to at least take NOTICE, which it doesn't seem to be doing. And if you think of anything else we can do to make it known, please let me know and I will take part!

ETA: If no one speaks up about this, they assume that no one cares, and the next time a censorship issue comes up, they are far more likely to act in favor of it because they don't see any negative consequences. If, instead, they face outrage at this, they are less likely to censor in the future.

LJ fixed it!

SUP has censored several interests including BISEXUALITY and faeries from their list of most popular interests. Stewardess writes:

"Using the wayback machine, I was able to compare Livejournal popular interests from May, 2007, with those of today. In order of size, these are the interests 6A/SUP has disappeared from the daily popular interests report:

Sex, Boys, Girls, Fanfiction, Yaoi, Hardcore, Porn, Bondage, Faeries, Pain, Depression, and Bisexuality.

I confirmed the interest faeries leads to GLBT links, along with a sprinkling of Spenser study groups, pagans, and collectors of winged dolls. Since Wicca was not censored from the most popular interests, it's clear who 6A/SUP is going after."

Help me do something about this. Click here and enter in this text (edit the last paragraph to suit you):

I just discovered that SUP has removed these interests: "Sex, Boys, Girls, Fanfiction, Yaoi, Hardcore, Porn, Bondage, Faeries, Pain, Depression, Bisexuality" from LJ's daily popular interests report, and I am outraged by this censorship. I want LJ to reflect its users, not the prejudices of its owners. I have seen a large number of my friends moving to another journaling site, with more threatening to do the same, and I think that LJ needs to pay attention to this before it loses a large chunk of its paying customers.

I am a _______ (plus, paid, permanent, basic, early adopter) account holder, and if I left, you would be losing the revenue I bring in by ________ (viewing ads, paying yearly, inviting new people to join LJ).

of course, you can also just write your own text. and re-post this! I want to see it FLOOD my flist because I want LJ to at least take NOTICE, which it doesn't seem to be doing. And if you think of anything else we can do to make it known, please let me know and I will take part!

ETA: If no one speaks up about this, they assume that no one cares, and the next time a censorship issue comes up, they are far more likely to act in favor of it because they don't see any negative consequences. If, instead, they face outrage at this, they are less likely to censor in the future.

LJ fixed it!

a moment to shriek with joy: I have a permanent account! Thank you soooooo much shioneh, clown_frog, rescoto, rosefox8, roina_arwen, broken_sodalite, spindell, lorelei_sakti, shadowlily, smurfb1ue, aubkabob, & wallbrat!!! And I bought it in the first 36 hours, so LJ donated $25 to RAINN out of the purchase. Out of YOUR donations really. :D

(skipping the first few days of Hannah's visit) We went out to see A Mighty Heart today (thoughts on that later), and as we left I noticed that Hannah was really quiet. I asked if she still wanted to go shopping and she said sure, so we headed over to the store. At one point I put my hand on her knee and she didn't respond at all, which is unusual, so instead of going straight to the store I pulled over into a nearby parking lot and asked her what was wrong.

She told me that she'd been feeling completely disconnected from me, and felt that I didn't care about her or the relationship, like I didn't even try to connect. After rambling for a bit (I felt that I had been trying my hardest, with the low amount of energy I have right now), I realized I had felt like she wasn't wanting to be communicative, and I felt like I had to just accept that. I had developed that mindset because for a while this year she wasn't able to connect with me, and there was nothing I could do about it, since I don't live in the same country. Even though that's not consciously something I would be okay with, I hadn't realized that I felt that way, so it hadn't changed. I also felt like I couldn't 'call her out' if I felt like she wasn't being open/honest, because I didn't want her to feel attacked. (and she felt that my lack of 'calling her out' was because I didn't truly care to hear her heart) So we talked about it a lot and she said that yes, she's sensitive, but it's okay for me to be direct, she appreciates that. And I changed the way I was thinking, and decided to operate in faith that she's okay with me challenging her. We both believe that's a big part of soulfriendship -- challenging each other to stretch and grow. This year hasn't been kind to us, nor to our relationship, but we're moving to the next stage.

Before that discussion, we'd been disconnected in such a way that I hardly even felt her presence -- since then, we re-opened our hearts to each other and I feel her presence -- the soothing, loving touch of her spirit brushing with mine. It's amazing... I just want to curl up into a teeny tiny ball and snuggle into her belly button.

---

A Mighty Heart was a wonderful movie... the cinematography could have been a hell of a lot better, but everything else was pretty amazing, and Angelina gave (in my opinion) the absolute best performance of her life. That woman inspires me so much ♥ and I am so grateful that she's making some 'real' movies again.

a moment to shriek with joy: I have a permanent account! Thank you soooooo much shioneh, clown_frog, rescoto, rosefox8, roina_arwen, broken_sodalite, spindell, lorelei_sakti, shadowlily, smurfb1ue, aubkabob, & wallbrat!!! And I bought it in the first 36 hours, so LJ donated $25 to RAINN out of the purchase. Out of YOUR donations really. :D

(skipping the first few days of Hannah's visit) We went out to see A Mighty Heart today (thoughts on that later), and as we left I noticed that Hannah was really quiet. I asked if she still wanted to go shopping and she said sure, so we headed over to the store. At one point I put my hand on her knee and she didn't respond at all, which is unusual, so instead of going straight to the store I pulled over into a nearby parking lot and asked her what was wrong.

She told me that she'd been feeling completely disconnected from me, and felt that I didn't care about her or the relationship, like I didn't even try to connect. After rambling for a bit (I felt that I had been trying my hardest, with the low amount of energy I have right now), I realized I had felt like she wasn't wanting to be communicative, and I felt like I had to just accept that. I had developed that mindset because for a while this year she wasn't able to connect with me, and there was nothing I could do about it, since I don't live in the same country. Even though that's not consciously something I would be okay with, I hadn't realized that I felt that way, so it hadn't changed. I also felt like I couldn't 'call her out' if I felt like she wasn't being open/honest, because I didn't want her to feel attacked. (and she felt that my lack of 'calling her out' was because I didn't truly care to hear her heart) So we talked about it a lot and she said that yes, she's sensitive, but it's okay for me to be direct, she appreciates that. And I changed the way I was thinking, and decided to operate in faith that she's okay with me challenging her. We both believe that's a big part of soulfriendship -- challenging each other to stretch and grow. This year hasn't been kind to us, nor to our relationship, but we're moving to the next stage.

Before that discussion, we'd been disconnected in such a way that I hardly even felt her presence -- since then, we re-opened our hearts to each other and I feel her presence -- the soothing, loving touch of her spirit brushing with mine. It's amazing... I just want to curl up into a teeny tiny ball and snuggle into her belly button.

---

A Mighty Heart was a wonderful movie... the cinematography could have been a hell of a lot better, but everything else was pretty amazing, and Angelina gave (in my opinion) the absolute best performance of her life. That woman inspires me so much ♥ and I am so grateful that she's making some 'real' movies again.

[Poll #913650]

[Poll #913650]