What are the parts of your identity that you have labels for? (list and then define)

Part 2: my soul parts. These are parts of my identity that relate to my purpose n the world and the way I interact with it.

My soul identites: consent advocate, communalist, social justice activist, polyamorous / relationship anarchist, creativity catalyst, Southern / ATLien, tree-hugger, vegetarian, nudist.

consent advocate

This is a big damn deal to me. Most people are really bad at consent because we live in a rape culture. I try to model good consent at every opportunity and I am very demanding of myself not to ever be careless with consent. Why making it safe & comfortable to say 'no' is as necessary as respecting 'no' I don't separate people into rapists and not-rapists, but rather into a spectrum of good at consent to bad at consent, with rapist as a separate category for people who knowingly make a choice to cross someone else's sexual boundary and people who sexually violate others due to not bothering to check what they want. People who do their best not to be a rapist can still be bad at consent! Everyone has to unlearn rape culture. how to be careful w sexual consent: discuss meaning, risk, safeword, triggers, roles, acts, sobriety, needs

communalist

This is what I call my radical anti-capitalist attitude toward money and other shareable resources. I share my resources; I give a portion of every paycheck to resist inequality and support oppressed people; I speak out against economic inequality; I consider the economic cost within my own relationships and events and do what I can to balance them.

social justice activist

I resist oppression and work to bring justice wherever I can. I call myself an activist rather than ally because to me, ally is passive: someone who will not attack you nor overtly support oppressors. I consider being an activist to be about taking action, first in self-educating, then in doing what you can where you are with what you have. More than anything else, social justice is about considering the meaning and impact of all my choices and trying to create the least harm and the most good.

polyamorous/relationship anarchist

I am polyamorous: for me this means being open to multiple simultaneous romantic relationships. More specifically I identify as a relationship anarchist because I will not make rules or commitments designed to protect the relationship at the cost of the individuals. My relationship anarchy: we each only do what we want / my intentions & desires in all connections

creativity catalyst

I feel that true creativity is sacred, that every human is capable of it (and many other animals are also), and that we need more of it in the world. I try to encourage this both indirectly through my example, (such as by painting on my car and customizing my companion objects) and directly by sharing my creative materials and methods, affirming when people are creative, and resisting when people are derogatory toward art based on its lack of technical skill or for other elitist bullshit reasons. I have catalyzed art in many people even if it was just once or twice, and I want to do it much more. I have needed art catalysts in my life and I want to be that thing that I need to exist in the world.

Southern / ATLien

I love Atlanta deeply. A lot of people from other places have this idea that the South is all anti-queer anti-justice tradition-enforcers, but they are flat wrong, as you can tell if you look at any objective measurement. Atlanta, Georgia's capital, has the second highest percentage of self-identified lgbtqia people in the United States, at about 13%.

The best explanation I have ever heard was from a black queer southern woman who said "southerners are just like everyone else, only more so." Here, the bigots are loud, but so are the activists. I would say the majority of southern people I have known are not fence-sitters. You can pretty easily figure out if we are with you or against you, and I vastly prefer that to completely covert prejudice.

I also consider Atlanta and Georgia to be my responsibility in a "take care of your own house" kind of way. I will not abandon it to go somewhere that might be more friendly to me and people like me; I will stay here and make it better.

And I identify with Georgia specifically because of our trees. No other place I have been has had so many trees, and Atlanta's nickname is the City in a Forest. I treasure and worship trees and love that Georgia has so many.

tree-hugger

I mean this literally and figuratively. Literally, I love trees more than almost anyone I know (I only come in second to a professional tree-lover: a botanist/naturalist who has catalogued hundreds of trees in Atlanta and Georgia). I read about them and practice identifying them for fun, I connect with them on a deep level and almost all my travel desires are about trees I want to meet. Figuratively, I try to create as little waste as possible by reducing the waste I create, reusing as much as possible, and recycling carefully.

vegetarian

I am a vegetarian because it takes much more resources to raise animals than to raise plants. It is also very very expensive to eat ethically raised or wild-caught animals and I just don't like meat enough to try and keep meat-processing microbes alive in my body, but neither do I want to contribute to harm caused to animals by buying from unethical sources. HOWEVER this is not about right/wrong, it is about reduction of harm. Why I am vegetarian but do not recommend it for everyone and why I won't ever go vegan.

I have learned the hard way how to supplement and if someone can't afford $50 a month in supplements as well as healthy proteins, they can't afford to be vegetarian. And being vegan can be bad for the planet in a lot of ways and is not a nutritionally sound choice for the vast majority of people, since you need either a lot of spare time and research skills or to hire a nutritionist to know how to supplement all the needed nutrients.

nudist

Simply put, I hate being forced to wear clothes and if I could get away with it I would be naked all the time except when it was cold or for occasional dress-up. I reject the idea that nudity is sexual; for me, it is simply the default human state.

About four years ago I started considering going vegetarian after being exposed to factory farming atrocities and beginning to research my meat to make sure it wasn't abused, but was unsure on whether or not to cut out meat entirely. The vegetarians I knew were all vegetarian because they loved animals; they couldn't bear to think of an animal dying so that they could eat. Most of them felt this way because animals have feelings and therefore shouldn't be killed. That reason does not work for me at all, because I love plants as much as animals, and they have feelings too. I have to eat some living thing in order to continue living and I refuse to rank living objects from "most thinky" to "least thinky" and then kill the "least thinky" ones for my food. I do not see beings as having more worth because they have a "face" or because they can move in a way humans can see with the naked eye or because they communicate in a way humans deem "language." Eating humans, cats, cows, fish, potatoes, microbes -- all are equally valuable lives to me.

Then three years ago, on April 1st 2009, an LJ friend exposed me to this chart, and it turned me vegetarian:


(click to enlarge)
[it did NOT, however, inspire me to give up coffee -- it'd take a much worse impact for me to give THAT up]
It shows in visual examples the amount of one resource -- water -- that goes into production of various consumable resources. My friend explained that ze felt as I did about plants, and chose to be vegetarian because fewer lives were sacrificed for zirs that way: "...I realized, statistically speaking, many many million fewer plants die to feed a vegan than an omnivore. for example, in order for a cow to gain 1g of weight, it must eat 8.3 grams of soy protein. that means rather than choosing 'do I want one plate of animal or 1 plate of plant to suffer?' we're really choosing 'do 9 plates of living things to suffer or one plate of living things to suffer?'" I was blown away by this and felt instantly that this was a good reason for me to be vegetarian. I wanted to cut down on the resources I consume and I saw that I could cut out a TON of my water use by changing my diet.

At first I cut out all farmed meat, and purchased only wild-caught meat because I figured most of the use of resources went into raising them. The meat I ate worked out to be Trader Joe's canned tuna (I contacted them to find out if it was wild-caught) and every now and then some other wild-caught fish. I'd also eat meat if it would otherwise go to waste, because for me this decision is about my impact on demand, not actually about what goes into my body. But at some point there was a few month gap between meals with meat in them, and after that when I ate it, I could smell it in my sweat and taste this horrible bitterness in my mouth for days after, and it'd give me diarrhea as well. At that point I decided to just forgo all meat. The other day I tried some salmon after probably at least two years of no meat at all, and I had muscle pain and painful skin hyper-sensitivity that freaked me out a good bit because I've never experienced it before. My body has decided that meat is inappropriate for me to eat at all. (Also, after making out with both vegetarians and meat eaters, I much prefer the taste of vegetarians ;-))

related: if you want to eat meat more sustainably, here's another pretty chart:

(click to enlarge) -------------->

Even people who need to eat meat do not need it every meal or even every day. I've heard many different statistics, the most common being about a handful 2-3 times per week. (This is not to say that everyone can do that, because the availability of cheap and quick proteins is not the same across the board, and you're supposed to have 40-50g of protein a day according to current recommendations)

For the first six months of this I told NO ONE except my partner at the time, because I was terrified that I would "fail" at it and then be faced with my own hypocrisy not only at every meal but in the minds of everyone who knew me. I had nightmares about eating meat and then realizing what I had done. But I ate plenty of protein in other forms and after a while of no ill effects I decided that I would be fine without it. The nightmares abated as I impressed upon myself that the goal is not perfection, but improvement.

There are some things I eat which are quite resource-heavy; cheese is one. I don't intend to do the absolute best thing all the time; I just want to reduce strain on the earth in ways that I can. I think if I were to give up dairy I'd be unhappy, as there are only three foods I really love -- cheeses, tomatoes, and peppers. This is a hypocrisy I am comfortable with (though ultimately I'd like to have my own dairy goat(s) both to cut out packaging/shipping and for more loved food).


And on the topic of conserving water, this is why my house lets it mellow if it's yellow --->

I also shower only every 2-3 days (unless I got super sweaty or dirty), and brush my teeth without running the water, and drink water instead of soda (look back at that first chart!) though that one is partly because I'm not very fond of sugar. I only run full loads of laundry and I scrub the dishes without running the water (but use running water to rinse because the idea of reused rinse water grosses me out too much).



These are fairly easy sacrifices for me; I think it's not necessary for everyone to be perfect, but it is necessary for everyone to find places they CAN sacrifice, and make those sacrifices.

1) We practice body acceptance:

• This means that clothing is optional so if you want people to be clothed, ask ahead of time (and you may get a "no"). It also means that negative body comments will be corrected; you are perfect the way you are and so is everyone else.

2) We practice sharing:

• We want you to feel at home while you are here. Most things on the main level are for sharing; if something is a one-time-use item (like food or paper) then get permission before using.  If you use something, put it back in the same condition when you're done.

3) We practice eliminating stereotypes:

• We expect everyone to make mistakes and take them as an opportunity to learn rather than a slight on their character.
• Guests and residents are expected to be prepared and willing to be made aware of their privilege/prejudice.  EVERYONE has privilege/ignorance/prejudice they need to work on.
• If you hear something that is exclusionary, prejudiced, or ignorant, please speak up if you can and point it out.  If you can't, please talk to a resident about it and we'll try to address the issue.

4) We practice maintaining safe space:

• Intentionally prejudiced or violent language/behavior is not allowed, whether serious or as a "joke."  This means threats of violence are not okay ("joking" or not), saying things to make people feel excluded or inferior (on purpose) is not okay, hitting or threatening to hit is not okay, yelling at people is not okay, calling names is not okay, making "jokes" that rely on the 'inferiority' of a group/person are not okay, rape "jokes" (including rape as slang for mild suffering) are not okay. 
• You're not expected to remember this list but you are expected to stop immediately if someone calls you on breaking safe space. (arguing that this language/behavior is acceptable is also breaking safe space). If you are not willing to do that, you are not welcome here.

5) We practice resolving upsetness:

• if something upsets you, assume good intentions and share your feelings without judging or blaming. If someone is upset by you, empathize and explain before problem-solving.

6) We practice being honest and open:

• we are not here to avoid conflict but to make conflict creative. If you are feeling or thinking something upsetting, please try to express it kindly and frankly.

7) We practice comforting each other:

• If someone says "I'm hurt," all of the willing & able people are encouraged to offer a group hug, throw kisses, or otherwise express care. This includes expressing care to a person who feels hurt by being called out on their stereotyping or unsafe behavior; however it is not a substitute for discussion, nor are people obligated to give comfort.

8) We practice radical consent in cuddles and sex:

• all people involved are both desiring AND consciously choosing to share touch.  Ask first! get a definite yes (either verbally or non-verbally) before continuing. Before beginning genital or other overtly sexual touch, either get consent of others in the room or move to a more private space.

9) We practice consent for sharing space:

• Before inviting people over, discuss it with the people who live in that space! Guests, ask a resident, and make sure your invitees are aware of the house agreements. Residents, tell the residents that might be affected by your guests.

10) We practice expressing needs:

• If you have a need, please express it to a resident if you can. We want to be accommodating if possible (for instance, if you are feeling socially anxious but not wanting to leave, we can provide quiet alone space).

11) We practice recycling:

• DO NOT THROW AWAY PLASTIC CONTAINERS!!! Recycle what can be recycled, and if you don't want to wash out the item, leave it and James will wash it.

This is open-source: use as you will, but if you edit it, name it something new ;-)

I haven't made a post on this subject before (that I can remember anyway) because it feels awkward to talk about. But it's close to my heart so I'm going to try to put it into words.

The Christian church has a doctrine of tithing: one is supposed to give 10% of everything one makes to Deity. My parents raised me to do this (the way they handled money is something I HAVE admired about them) but I didn't need their push; I liked the idea of giving to Jesus, whom I adored from the very beginning. As I got older the idea of tithing lost its appeal and started to feel like all the other doctrines: restrictive and meaningless. But I prayed/meditated on it and said to God/dess, "sure, tithing helps the people I give it to, but what do I get out of it?" (because I never believed that my purpose is just to serve others) and I got a two-fold answer which has made me excited about tithing ever since. The first reason is that it is protection against possessiveness. It reminds me that everything that comes into my hands is a gift, even if I have 'earned' it, because I earned it using the gifts I've been given, and that nothing is truly 'mine' -- it's all just passing through. The second is that tithing is an act that builds my faith. An important element of tithe is that it is is the FIRST money I spend (yes, before food & other necessities), and so when I give my tithe I am trusting that Deity/the Universe will provide anything else I might need. These truths haven't changed as my understanding of life, the universe, and everything has evolved.

( my history with tithing )

BUT NOW! I can do whateverthefuck I want with the money I make!!! So I've been tithing again! (11% because I ♥ the number 11 ;-)) The causes I support and will (continue to) donate to are: Big Trees Forest Preserve, Legal Momentum, Georgia Equality, National Center for Transgender Equality, Soulforce (Stop Spiritual Violence), Snow Leopard Trust, Full Radius Dance, Oyate, Love146, Prevent Child Abuse Georgia, & CHRIS Kids. There are other causes I care about but I'm already spreading my meager support pretty widely, so right now these are the ones I will focus on. I chose them by how much they are part of my spiritual practice -- so, it's focused on equality and freedom (legal and spiritual), stories/art from those whose voice is often suppressed, healing people and protecting those who cannot protect themselves, caring for the earth/trees (I'll probably add a national environmental organization when I find a good one), and protecting snow leopards (because they are of great spiritual importance to me and they are endangered). I'm using facebook's Causes app because it's a fantastic way to keep up with all of them and let other people know about them as well.

There won't be enough time or energy in my life to devote to all of these causes in the way I'd love to, but I can help others who are doing the work. I feel pretty strongly about putting my money where my mouth is, and I very much believe that if I just give a little consistently, I can make a huge impact over the course of my lifetime. There seems to be this attitude among activists that giving money is less sincere than giving time, but I'm spending time earning that money, so my money IS my time. I do want to DO more but I feel that my small gifts are important too, and I believe that they will have positive impact.

I haven't made a post on this subject before (that I can remember anyway) because it feels awkward to talk about. But it's close to my heart so I'm going to try to put it into words.

The Christian church has a doctrine of tithing: one is supposed to give 10% of everything one makes to Deity. My parents raised me to do this (the way they handled money is something I HAVE admired about them) but I didn't need their push; I liked the idea of giving to Jesus, whom I adored from the very beginning. As I got older the idea of tithing lost its appeal and started to feel like all the other doctrines: restrictive and meaningless. But I prayed/meditated on it and said to God/dess, "sure, tithing helps the people I give it to, but what do I get out of it?" (because I never believed that my purpose is just to serve others) and I got a two-fold answer which has made me excited about tithing ever since. The first reason is that it is protection against possessiveness. It reminds me that everything that comes into my hands is a gift, even if I have 'earned' it, because I earned it using the gifts I've been given, and that nothing is truly 'mine' -- it's all just passing through. The second is that tithing is an act that builds my faith. An important element of tithe is that it is is the FIRST money I spend (yes, before food & other necessities), and so when I give my tithe I am trusting that Deity/the Universe will provide anything else I might need. These truths haven't changed as my understanding of life, the universe, and everything has evolved.

( my history with tithing )

BUT NOW! I can do whateverthefuck I want with the money I make!!! So I've been tithing again! (11% because I ♥ the number 11 ;-)) The causes I support and will (continue to) donate to are: Big Trees Forest Preserve, Legal Momentum, Georgia Equality, National Center for Transgender Equality, Soulforce (Stop Spiritual Violence), Snow Leopard Trust, Full Radius Dance, Oyate, Love146, Prevent Child Abuse Georgia, & CHRIS Kids. There are other causes I care about but I'm already spreading my meager support pretty widely, so right now these are the ones I will focus on. I chose them by how much they are part of my spiritual practice -- so, it's focused on equality and freedom (legal and spiritual), stories/art from those whose voice is often suppressed, healing people and protecting those who cannot protect themselves, caring for the earth/trees (I'll probably add a national environmental organization when I find a good one), and protecting snow leopards (because they are of great spiritual importance to me and they are endangered). I'm using facebook's Causes app because it's a fantastic way to keep up with all of them and let other people know about them as well.

There won't be enough time or energy in my life to devote to all of these causes in the way I'd love to, but I can help others who are doing the work. I feel pretty strongly about putting my money where my mouth is, and I very much believe that if I just give a little consistently, I can make a huge impact over the course of my lifetime. There seems to be this attitude among activists that giving money is less sincere than giving time, but I'm spending time earning that money, so my money IS my time. I do want to DO more but I feel that my small gifts are important too, and I believe that they will have positive impact.

I've always hated waste, partly because I was very poor when I was young and partly because I want everything to have a purpose and be valued. But I didn't think about it beyond a vague dissatisfaction until I saw an article with pictures of this:

( a toxic soup of plastic in the ocean )

and it made me cry and it turned my stomach and it showed me that not only are we filling up the earth with shit in landfills, but we're also filling up our oceans. We're killing creatures with our laziness and selfishness. We're poisoning ourselves.

Since then I am constantly aware of plastic waste. WHY, WHY, WHY are so many objects intended for temporary use made with permanent materials? regular plastic takes HUNDREDS of YEARS to become useful again -- in the meantime, it is murdering our world. I do what I can to reduce, reuse, recycle, but it feels so pathetic in the face of so much complete indifference. There's a lot of apathy in the face of suffering but this gets to me so much because it is so TANGIBLE.

The local recycling business doesn't do glass (wtf??), so I save up our recyclables and take them to a place that recycles glass too. I feel so strongly about this that it makes me cringe to go to out and see people throw away a #1 or #2 plastic or glass, though I haven't quite worked up the guts to ask them for it so that I can take it home, wash it out, and save it for recycling. (and the germophobe in me finds that a little gross) However, I have been thinking about asking my neighbors if they'd like me to take their recyclables... I don't want to do it alone, is the only thing -- I'd be happy to collect and drive them to the place if I had someone to do it with. I don't like interacting with strangers alone in a private place.

When shopping, I use bags that are made from recycled plastic bottles (which makes me want to cry in mingled joy and despair! we could USE these things instead of ruining the world with them!). If I forget the bags, I get only what I can carry. I ask for paper cups rather than plastic or styrofoam, but I still feel dreadful about that -- I NEED a good reusable coffeemug! I got one and then discovered that it will not hold 20 ounces. ... Okay, just went searching and bought a 20 oz ceramic mug even though it is pricey because I NEED to be more responsible.

I really want to find some way to do more. Maybe get over my fears and become a free recycling person for my neighbors, ack!

I've always hated waste, partly because I was very poor when I was young and partly because I want everything to have a purpose and be valued. But I didn't think about it beyond a vague dissatisfaction until I saw an article with pictures of this:

( a toxic soup of plastic in the ocean )

and it made me cry and it turned my stomach and it showed me that not only are we filling up the earth with shit in landfills, but we're also filling up our oceans. We're killing creatures with our laziness and selfishness. We're poisoning ourselves.

Since then I am constantly aware of plastic waste. WHY, WHY, WHY are so many objects intended for temporary use made with permanent materials? regular plastic takes HUNDREDS of YEARS to become useful again -- in the meantime, it is murdering our world. I do what I can to reduce, reuse, recycle, but it feels so pathetic in the face of so much complete indifference. There's a lot of apathy in the face of suffering but this gets to me so much because it is so TANGIBLE.

The local recycling business doesn't do glass (wtf??), so I save up our recyclables and take them to a place that recycles glass too. I feel so strongly about this that it makes me cringe to go to out and see people throw away a #1 or #2 plastic or glass, though I haven't quite worked up the guts to ask them for it so that I can take it home, wash it out, and save it for recycling. (and the germophobe in me finds that a little gross) However, I have been thinking about asking my neighbors if they'd like me to take their recyclables... I don't want to do it alone, is the only thing -- I'd be happy to collect and drive them to the place if I had someone to do it with. I don't like interacting with strangers alone in a private place.

When shopping, I use bags that are made from recycled plastic bottles (which makes me want to cry in mingled joy and despair! we could USE these things instead of ruining the world with them!). If I forget the bags, I get only what I can carry. I ask for paper cups rather than plastic or styrofoam, but I still feel dreadful about that -- I NEED a good reusable coffeemug! I got one and then discovered that it will not hold 20 ounces. ... Okay, just went searching and bought a 20 oz ceramic mug even though it is pricey because I NEED to be more responsible.

I really want to find some way to do more. Maybe get over my fears and become a free recycling person for my neighbors, ack!

I've always hated waste, partly because I was very poor when I was young and partly because I want everything to have a purpose and be valued. But I didn't think about it beyond a vague dissatisfaction until I saw an article with pictures of this:

( a toxic soup of plastic in the ocean )

and it made me cry and it turned my stomach and it showed me that not only are we filling up the earth with shit in landfills, but we're also filling up our oceans. We're killing creatures with our laziness and selfishness. We're poisoning ourselves.

Since then I am constantly aware of plastic waste. WHY, WHY, WHY are so many objects intended for temporary use made with permanent materials? regular plastic takes HUNDREDS of YEARS to become useful again -- in the meantime, it is murdering our world. I do what I can to reduce, reuse, recycle, but it feels so pathetic in the face of so much complete indifference. There's a lot of apathy in the face of suffering but this gets to me so much because it is so TANGIBLE.

The local recycling business doesn't do glass (wtf??), so I save up our recyclables and take them to a place that recycles glass too. I feel so strongly about this that it makes me cringe to go to out and see people throw away a #1 or #2 plastic or glass, though I haven't quite worked up the guts to ask them for it so that I can take it home, wash it out, and save it for recycling. (and the germophobe in me finds that a little gross) However, I have been thinking about asking my neighbors if they'd like me to take their recyclables... I don't want to do it alone, is the only thing -- I'd be happy to collect and drive them to the place if I had someone to do it with. I don't like interacting with strangers alone in a private place.

When shopping, I use bags that are made from recycled plastic bottles (which makes me want to cry in mingled joy and despair! we could USE these things instead of ruining the world with them!). If I forget the bags, I get only what I can carry. I ask for paper cups rather than plastic or styrofoam, but I still feel dreadful about that -- I NEED a good reusable coffeemug! I got one and then discovered that it will not hold 20 ounces. ... Okay, just went searching and bought a 20 oz ceramic mug even though it is pricey because I NEED to be more responsible.

I really want to find some way to do more. Maybe get over my fears and become a free recycling person for my neighbors, ack!