Profile

belenen: (Default)
belenen

April 2021

S M T W T F S
     123
4 5 678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930 

Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.

belenen: (giving)
love memory bank
icon: "giving (two cartoon figures: one fills in a heart with red marker on its chest while the other watches. Then the other points at it and "...?" appears as a thought above it. The one with the heart on it smiles and glomp-hugs the other, who looks startled, then blushes and hugs back. The first one pulls away again and the heart has been copied onto the second one's chest. both smile. image repeats.)"

15-05-28
Topaz bought me Chipotle as a surprise present!

15-10-31
Topaz took me to get a coffee even though they didn't want to and were stressed about time.
Cass cuddled with me, laying their head on my shoulder while I pet their hair and holding my hand.

16-01-11
Topaz drove me to my house and back today for checking on my cat.

16-01-13
Topaz gave me a back rub for about 10-15 minutes, then made me dinner (tomato soup and grilled cheese), then gave me small random pets, then boiled my neti water, then gave pets while I sat on the end of the bed, then gave me soft pets laying down.

16-01-15
Topaz picked me up to go to their house.

16-01-16
Topaz gave me sweet wake-up pets and made me coffee.

16-01-20
Topaz got me juice & meds & treats from kroger for my sickness, heated veggie soup and made grilled cheese, and then went to their gma's house to get the foot spa and brought it back and cleaned it for me so I could use it.

16-01-22
Topaz picked me up from my house. Also made me salad and frozen snacks for dinner. Also gave me an amaaaazing foot rub that felt like my feet were in clouds of heaven. Also brought me a snack for when i have to wake up and have meds.

16-01-24
Topaz took me home.

16-01-25
I told Topaz that the words 'thank you' have no meaning to me and if they want me to feel their gratitude (or any emotion they are expressing) I need the words to be combined with touch or at least eye contact. (We talked about the same thing with a different emotion yesterday) I got distressed and tried to explain that it is like they are not speaking the same language. They later thanked me for cleaning the living room and made eye contact and gave specific detail and were emphatic, and it made me feel appreciated.


back to top

I write down things I'm grateful for (although not as often as I should) but I really like the idea of a memory bank specifically for love.
It's very important for me because otherwise I only have a vague positive feeling and no memories. But things aren't real for me unless I have concrete, specific examples.
I hadn't known that the words 'thank you' are ones that don't really mean anything to you and I'm glad to know that now, as it's a phrase I use a lot. I will probably still use it with you, but will try to describe why I'm saying it, the reasons for my gratitude. As in, expand it.
oh, it's not a BAD thing to say! it's just that alone, it has no meaning of its own. It's the same as a quick pat on the back, which is still nice.

Tags


Tags