I am so deeply grateful to have found people who live nearby whom I connect with and who are honest and open and loving and complex ♥ This is something I've yearned for for so many years and I can't even express the intensity of my gratitude for each person. Ash & Viv & Ben & Shel & Saleena & Nicole and and and... I mean, most of the friendships are still in beginning stages but there's already that sense of belonging -- the only time I've ever felt anything like this before was when I was living with the Wynnes and they made me part of the family, and even that wasn't this amazing. It feels like home. It makes me feel safe without feeling bound. It makes me free to be more fully myself.

I just looked back through my LJ to see the timeline on this... I first wrote about my longing for a like-minded community almost exactly a year ago. Then last January I started saying an affirmation which included the line, "I attract miraculous happenings and open, honest, connected, loving equalist people. I find new friends everywhere I go; I make deep connections with people who live near me." By mid-May I'd met all of my localtribe (though I didn't know then that I'd form such a strong bond with them). In that same affirmation I included the line, "I develop intimate relationships with polyamorous, feminist, genderfree violet spirits" (because why limit it to one, haha) and by mid-June I'd met Viv ♥ (annoyingly I didn't specify "living nearby and STAYING NEARBY." oh universe, you with your sadistic sense of humor :-p) There's other bits which have also come to pass -- I think in a way I spelled out the end of my relationship with my ex-partner AND my ex-girlfriend with the line, "I know which relationships to focus on developing." Apparently I didn't, so it became PAINFULLY obvious by them essentially dumping me. (still grateful for that though) I haven't been saying it since June but now that I'm looking over it I think I will start using it again with some minor changes.

And you know, I first started 'affirming' a local group of friends in March of 2008, but shortly after I began using that affirmation I fell in love with Hannah and Aurilion and stopped saying the affirmation because I felt that I had all the wonder I could handle. And then it seems I forgot about it or lost faith in it and didn't start again until the beginning of 2009, when I decided what the hell, it couldn't hurt. I want to remind myself that this fucking WORKS. I don't care how -- if it's just that it helps me to focus and pay attention more and discover what would have been there anyway, that's magic enough for me. But I believe that gratitude mixed with intention and focus opens up possibility that would not have otherwise existed. Especially since Ash has been affirming unlikely things and having them happen -- it's just as amazing to see it happen in someone else's life.

Words are so powerful. What I say, I hear. What I hear over and over, I believe. What I believe, I live.