I have news.
big news.
very big news.

HUGE news.

Hannah and I are communicating again.

I'm still in shock really. We'd been on friendly terms since the breakup, but there was this huge wall of pain between us, and we didn't communicate in real time at all. Then a few days ago I just happened to sign in (after a long period of being anti-IM), saw Nick online, and poked him and told him to tell Hannah I love her. She was with him and responded, and we just started talking. It just flowed. Since then we've had two 4+ hour conversations and it's surreal and amazing and... wow. I haven't really processed it, so you'll probably see more on that later.

Even more amazing and insane? I'm going to visit her in a few months (depending on our tax return, positive thoughts/prayers for gazillions of money!) in Scotland! And I'm going to meet Kate, and visit Belgium, and meet Meliae! Holy crap. I've never been out of the country before (just got my passport application eek) so it is VERY SCARY and so exciting. Not to mention that we have... this... unsettledness between us. But whatever changes our friendship goes through, this will be a growing experience. I feel sure that it can't be as bad as the last visit, which was survivable and had amazing sparks of magic amongst all the thorns. Both of us are in a better place now. Plus, Nick will be there, and the energy between the three of us is just incredible.

And, this is the year of risk-taking.