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no subject
Date: 2006-03-31 07:23 am (UTC)Well, I can recognize that sexual abuse affects a person on many levels so it doesn't seem far fetched that it's worse/harder to deal with. But nonetheless is treatment of that issue really that different from others? I might look into it if I have the oppurtunity, alas that it was just when we were getting to diagnosis and treatment in school that I dropped out otherwise I might have learned about such things already and had something better to say.
Anyway I can't remember if I said it before but I do really respect your efforts in dealing with your past I am just... Harsh? Critical? All or nothing? Pushing things to the edge? Something like that. Ah "forceful" was the word I was looking for in particular. Anyway I'm sorry about that but the world is a weird place so even people like me have a time and a place sometimes. Perhaps moreso the way I deal with things is different from others and I seem to have forgotten that not many people can handle living the way that I REALLY do (as opposed to how I say I do or seem to, that's less about intentional deception than how hard it is for me to convey certain things).
Alright well I'd better go to bed and actually I'd imagine that you should too so let me wish you pleasant dreams. Also if it is not too much to ask I would appreciate it if you said a prayer for me since I seem to be losing sight of god and frankly everything else right now. I'm not sure if you've kept up with my journal lately but I'm waiting for the results of a biopsy on my mouth to tell me if I have cancer there or not (meh I didn't even think about the fact that I could still have it somewhere else until now... damn). And even if I don't the benign disease I have there is more or less incurable (I think it can go away on it's own and also go dormant but there's nothing that can get it to go away without causing worse problems) so the threat will always be hanging directly over me...
Anyway as a result of that I'm in total chaos right now trying to live without hesitation (which I can imagine being a source of pain for others) because when I look back on my life all I see is myself in my parents' basement and I want to accomplish SOMETHING before I do die whether it's tomorrow or next year or 90 years from now.
Oh having brought that up, what do you think a person should try to accomplish in life? I haven't come up with an answer yet, I don't think there's a single right answer or perhaps even any wrong ones, I'm just trying to get other people's opinions so I can come up with one of my own. I think that's an important question to be able to answer so if I can at least do that...