You`re the only one who knows the best desition...

thank you.

There are definitely some LJ friends I have that I care deeply for. I'm not sure exactly what you're asking here, so I don't know how to answer...but yes, I care about my LJ friends in a similar way to how I care about my "real" friends.

I consider some of my LJ friends to be real friends -- what is scary to me is the idea that maybe they don't consider me to be a real friend. But a lot of that was just my depression talking, now that I'm a bit more stable I'm not so afraid. Even if I do love them more than they do me, what's the harm in that?

I care a great deal about certain lj friends of mine.

But just so you know, never stop being who you are for the sake of what you think other people want from you. You'll lose yourself that way. No people, in here or in real life, is worth that. You are all that you have, at the end of the day.

Well said! I think about a similar phrase often: you are the only one that has to be with you through your entire life.

I care for all my friends, but I do not censor myself for them. I am who I am, and they will either accept that or not.

I adore you. maybe you need more faith in yourself and your friends. you need to trust yourself to trust your friends. I want uncensored bel!

That's a great sentiment too! I tend to love my friends more the more uncensored they are!

We are given a powerful tool, the internet. It's giving us the opportunity to talk and make friends with people we normally wouldn't even hear of. And if it wouldn't be for this invention, I would be missing out on the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm so thankful for that, and I do understand wheer you stand. When my computer crashed and burned, unable to communicate with you guys it made me go nuts.

I too value some of my lj friends opinion, more so than the people around me. Maybe because they have a better perspective. I share so much with you guys, things I don't really share with my closest friends.

Nea and I hit it off from the very first time we exchanged comments and replies on a community. So yeah it is possible to fall in love with people by mere intuition.

I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. It's good to know that I'm not alone on this. ;-)

no, intuition is a strong tool. i have made some very important friends over the internet -- and one lover, if truth be known.

we are in a new age, with a new set of rules when it comes to communicating.

and, please, don't stop posting.

Thank you. Just thank you.

I adore everyone on my friends list or else I wouldn't be friends with them. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. Censoring yourself doesn't help anyone and only leads to depression. That's from personal experience.

And now, I shall attempt to help lift your mood with silliness: A link!
Laughter (http://www.goodcleanjokes.com/) cures a lot of things.

Chocolate helps too.

Heh heh, your link did make me laugh and cheer me, thank you!

I think it's ok to be attached to LJ friends. Sometimes it's just alot easier to talk to a person who you can't see. When you talk to someone face to face, you're looking into their eyes and thinking that it's possible they're judging you, whereas LJ friends aren't like that. They're here to give support and comfort and it doesn't matter what they're thinking at that point in time, only what they typed. It's easy to get caught up in that, but don't lose yourself in the process. And LJ may be a blessing in disguise. While I may not know each and every person on my list personally, it's alot easier for me to relate the events of my day or things about myself that I might feel stupid revealing to someone face to face. With LJ, we're able to get alot of built up anger and anxiety and tension out into the open without having to feel really guilty about it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree that it is easier to open up on LJ -- and I have found that by taking my first steps to openness here, it's easier to be open with those I know in real life too.

I think I know how you feel. I've made a lot of private posts in the past, because I'm worried about offending people. I know I shouldn't care because it's my journal, but I do. There a lot of LJ friends that I'm really attached to--you're one of them--and I'd hate to lose that.

You're not alone, m'dear. Take care.

Well, you needn't worry about offending me. The only way you could really offend me is if you tried -- like if you said nasty things about me, which I can't see you doing. I've learned that it is a stupid waste of my energy to be offended that others don't share my opinions or viewpoints. ;-) If you have people that you think would be offended, maybe you should make a custom filter or something...

Thanks for commenting, it's good to know I'm not alone! *hugs*

Not that anyone asked my opinion or even invited me here, but I think I can empathize with what you're saying...

When you first start writing, you don't have much of an audience, and you're at your most raw and honest. And people respond to that. And you learn to appreciate the audience...we all want to know that we're being heard. And feedback is an essential part of that.

After awhile, people start to believe that they know you and what's best for you...so they'll be bolder in telling you what they think. That's all well and good, and I suppose there's really no stopping them. But what originally drew them to you in the first place WAS your candor and your willingness to lay it on the line...

...so if you take that away and just give people what they want, well...there's no fun in that.

Most rational people are not going to defriend you if you're honest. Those are the most fascinating journals...and we're all flawed, hypocritical idiots at some point, and most comments are not the best thought out reponses.

But those that truly care about you will not leave you, regardless of what you write...and sometimes you just need the opportunity to weed the others out.

Thank you, and that is very true about needing the opportunity to weed the others out... I was really surprised at how few left and who they were when I posted my political post the other day.

A friend is not a friend if you have to censor yourself around them. Friends should love you for the real you, not someone you pretend to be.

That said, I feel it's very possible to develop real friendships online. Most of my best friends are people I met online, and I wouldn't give them up for the world. I don't feel as if our friendship is any less real, or anything to be embarassed about just because we didn't meet in the flesh-and-blood world.

Quite a few of you mean so much to me; it feels like I'm taking you too seriously, and I'm embarrassed about it. I shouldn't be, but I am. It has always seemed pathetic to me to care a lot about someone who cares only a little about you.

A main problem with that comment is that you're assuming that people aren't caring as much about you as you are about them. You can't take a real friend too seriously, so I think your problem lies more in maybe not knowing who your real friends are apart from the people who just read your journal and think you're really awesome (as there is a distinct difference). Maybe making your journal friends-only and limiting your list would be a better option than shutting everyone out.

For the record, if you ever feel you're taking me too seriously, you can stop, because I take our friendship very seriously, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me. :-P

For the record, if you ever feel you're taking me too seriously, you can stop, because I take our friendship very seriously, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me.

awwww.... I love you too, Anika. ;-)

A friend is not a friend if you have to censor yourself around them. Friends should love you for the real you, not someone you pretend to be.

I agree 100%!

Maybe you should do a few friends only or private posts. Openness is good, but one shouldnt be open about everything all the time. You can still be very open if you post some things privately. Also maybe you should post in your prayer journal more? Since that's more private.

Well, it isn't really about privacy, it's about me wondering whether I should let myself love all of you... but that was mainly my insecurity talking, and now that I feel more stable I'm not really so worried about it.

OH what to say.

Think you can possibly know you'll like a person, from intuition. But then again, I'm not sure. But I think you can know a person just from reading their journal, perhaps, more likely. Not if they censor themselves though, not as well.

Care about the opinions of people you are sure care about you, perhaps. Not wrong? I think people you know only over the internet, friends, can be as much friends as people you know in life. Different kind, maybe. Maybe some friends could have on the internet but would not work in life. That's ok. Friendship things, got to care.

If you made your journal private then I would want to keep in touch with you by email, I would wonder how you were getting on. But your journal makes it easier for me to see how you are doing, and other people who care about you. It's an easier way to keep in touch. I don't know.

The internet makes it difficult to tell how people mean things, especially people who aren't great with their words, I don't think I am. Then it is all uncertain. Or fake sincerity. Maybe you feel embarrassed because you mean it, but you are not sure if others do? Unless it is just because the whole society saying that internet friendships are inferior.

You know you have to be uncensored, because you are wanting to be open? In this journal. And that's one of your big attractions, that you'll share things that other people maybe wouldn't, your honesty. Something that makes you totally original, or so I've seen so far. And people will disagree maybe, and you might get bad opinions, but if you are being all honest and free and how you want to be, then that shouldn't matter.

Your honesty and openess made me, makes me, want to be honest back. You are the only person I would ever tell certain things too, because that how I'd like a friend to be.

Maybe it is like wanting to be popular? You are good at making yourself popular. Like you wrote in your life story, that bit of it. Do you ever read back over that yourself? I have read it back a couple of times in the past, after learning more about you now, trying to get to know you. You are a fascinating person. I disagree with you on so many things, as well, I'm sure. So partly I study you, but I care about you too. It is difficult to know how to support you, sort of, not that you need it. You're older than me, I'm pretty young and innocent really and sometimes I get above myself, or wrapped up in myself. Nor do I make sure to put aside time to reply to your comments, when they do mean a lot to me as I read them. I don't feel that I am a good friend like that, feel guilty.

Yet again I'm commenting with no idea where I'm going with it. Not at all helpful of me.

I saw a book today in the library that I wanted you to see. It was called bellydancing, can't remember who by. I'm not sure, but it didn't look like it was so much teaching people moves, it was more a sort of book about how bellydancing gives women expression, sort of. I would've got it out but I didn't have my library card, it looked good. Next time I go into town I'l ltake my card and have a read of it, let you know if it is any good and the author. This is kind of tagged on at the end, it's just I saw it and immediately thought of you, so had to tell you about it.

wow, thank you so much. It means a lot that you'd want to keep in touch via email if I left LJ. Really really it does. And yes your comment was helpful, it was very encouraging when I first read it and it encourages me when I re-read it. ;-)

It makes me happy that that book made you think of me. ;-) If you do check it out, do tell me if it's any good.

Thank you for taking the time to tell me your thoughts. *hug*

I can't read any of the comments! The text is too light.

Anyway, I think you have nothing to worry about- and you can always be yourself.

It was an IE bug that was making my translucent background look opaque, but I got rid of the background.

Thanks for the encouragement. ;-)

There are so many reasons why I understand what you are feeling completely. I haven't posted much lately (or for that matter, even openly posted that I'm living in Florida), because there is one person I really don't want to know that. But really, I'm tired of doing that. I used to love being completely open on LJ and now I don't feel like I can. I hate that beyond words actually. Anyways, I will never think anything less of you for what you post, you have a right to post whatever you want to! I will love you just the same because you are amazing, and creative, and intelligent. ((And though those seem conditional, I really mean that nothing is going to change my "opinion" of you as a sister in Christ and a friend - even an "internet" friend.))

Thank you for the affirmation. ;-) It means a lot to me.

ok im the same way ive gotten to know some people on ij that im very fond of,and theres nothing wrong with that at all.see bel i found your lj by accident and im glad that i did.because of u i joined curvygirls and am very happy that i did.u being honest with ur lj helped me be honest to myself and now my beliefs in god r like wow its kinda hard to explain but i try to put him first,but anyway like i said before good things happen to those who believe :)

Yay! I'm glad I've helped you in some way, and thank you so much for letting me know that, because it's very encouraging. ;-)

Sweetheart, a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend is a friend, etc.
Whether it's someone you know personally or even LJ, pen pal friend. You should'nt be embarrased for taking your lj pals seriously. I do. I care about everyone....i care about you...i care about the first person who commented...i care everyone, and i want to be a friend to everyone, to help, and to love.

What are you depressed about? A good way to climb out of that state of uncomfortable feelings is to think happy thoughts. Think about good memories. Watch a fun movie that will make you laugh or just leaves a silly grin on your face. I suggest this to you because it works for me, and it can help you possibly. Remember you have people who love you!
<3

Thank you for the encouragement! ;-)

you should always do what feels right to you, whatever that is.

the simplest solution is probably either private posts or filtered ones, but in your own journal you shouldn't feel like you have to censor yourself. real friends will accept every part of you.



I know my posts aren't very deep. :-) but there's really not much going on in my life that involves deep thought. :-D

As far as censoring myself goes, I've gotten over that. My temptation to quit LJ wasn't because of a desire for privacy but because of a feeling of insecurity; I didn't want to be loving a whole bunch of people who just liked me. Now that I'm more emotionally stable, I don't mind that so much.

I dont really fall in love with my lj friends but i certainly know when i found someone fun to talk with. i know i havent posted many comments on your journal but i have read you entries.
So yeah i guess you coudl say i have a soft spot for my actual friends here on Lj. They let me vent and help me

I never expected to do anything with my journal. I've never been the type to open up..especially to strangers. I just got it so I could read Nik's. Then I got hooked...more on the people than my own journal. I'm more concerned about my friends' lives and what they write about, than updating my own. I always care too much about others than I do myself. Maybe it's my nature. I worry about the people on my friends list when they don't update often...and I always wonder if they feel the same about me. Journalling is tough. I know how it is to care about people...and I hope that everyone who reads you cares as much as you...because you deserve all of the love you give. *hugs* You're beautiful.

Thank you so much. And even though you haven't been very open in your journal, you've really been open in your comments and I feel like I've gotten to know you that way. I do hope that you will eventually embark on a journey to openness in your own journal, but I am not impatient about it. I know that it's a slow process. ;-)

I love you Danielle. ;-)

It just amazes me how much I can relate to you.

I get the same feeling reading your journal sometimes. ;-)

I hope you don't leave LJ. I would really miss you. But you must do what you need to do. Even if that makes me sad. I consider you like a sister through LJ.

*hugs you* I'm not leaving, don't worry. ;-) Thank you for the support!

Here is something I can have something valuable to say about.

I have another journal, and took the cowards way. I was, and still am, afraid to let others see me. Why?-- I don't know.

This journal is all about expressing the thoughts that hide in the deep dark corners of my mind. I can't even begin to tell you how liberating it is to feel the sense of freedom that comes with that. It is incredible.

I really hope you continue to post entries for friends to read because I enjoy reading your journal. Whatever it is you decide, you have to do what you think will benefit you most.

I'm glad that this journal has been a liberating experience for you, and I hope it continues to be. Honesty is freedom and lies are chains.

Thanks for commenting; I do plan to stay. ;-)

It's amazing how much I relate to you. *hugs her*

I've been thinking about posting more often, since you opened the subject. The biggest reason that I haven't yet is that I'm actually afraid to sit down and start typing. There's no telling what might come out. Lets just say that the Brat hasn't had some of the best experiences and has still managed to become a, relatively, sane individual.

Some of those things still hurt a lot and turning 40 doesn't change that, regardless of what some people may say. I can feel one of my sleepless nights coming on so I may write about it anyway. Can we say heavily filtered? *L*

Another reason is that my typing is terrible. A spell checker is a lovely thing. :)

Fall in love by intuition? Yes. It's definitely happened and I'm sure it will happen again. I have a huge capacity for love and no control over where it goes.

Just be you, hon. Don't change for anyone. *hugs her again*

I hope you have the courage to really open up. Telling the truth, no matter how painful or seemingly petty, is always a freeing experience.

Thank you very much for the encouragement. ;-) I really appreciate it. *hugs back*

i think it doesn't matter whether or not you're a "real" friend or an "lj" friend. friendship has no bounds, no limits, none at all. i think what really matters is when you share your thoughts, your emotions, through any medium (internet, phone, letters etc) and you feel that you have touched a person's mind, feeling, heart out there. i hope you don't limit yourself nor your thoughts.

Very true. I think you expressed that very well.