This week has been recovery, and I feel better in many ways but still in need of low-energy activities and lots of rest. I still don't quite know what hit me so hard... I know moving was truly dreadful; I wasn't prepared to move out of the first place I'd never felt unsafe. I know it was hard losing Abby as both a lover and a friend, but in an indirect way that I couldn't really process. But those things don't seem nearly enough to add up to total crash later... maybe the March depression I used to get every year showed up and I didn't realize it because I was distracted with other things? I dunno.

I wish Kylei could sleep through the night. We go to sleep at the same time but ze usually gets up in a few hours and then can't get back to sleep and by the time I get up ze needs a nap. And I feel entirely too motivation-poor to get up by myself, most of the time. Argh. But I was productive today, organizing the last of Kylei's moving mess. And yesterday I hung up fabric in front of my doorless closet, which increased the attractiveness of my room by a ton. And I did lots of dishes. small victories.

My dreams last night were so depressing and difficult -- biofamily dreams are just never positive. I need escape! My dreams need to be GOOD.