This weekend I went to Southeast Decompression, a mini-burn being held at The Colaboratory. It was my first burn-type experience and wow... I had such a wild time. I went with Kyle (but ze's a wanderer and so am I so we didn't spend all that much time together) and after a short wander we took our drums from the car and started drumming...

I HAVE drummed in public before but only when there were enough other people around to drown me out -- but this time I just fucking threw myself into it, didn't care at all who heard my mistakes (and there was only one other drum, so people could hear them! and people were right there! and some people were dancing to the beat I was making!) and oh GOD what a feeling. Drumming is in my BLOOD, it's me, and while I wish I was more skilled, I need to just do it anyway (and learn properly later maybe). I got so deeply into it I didn't realize how hard I was hitting or how long it went and I ended up with massive bruises on my hands (which are still hurting a lot two days later). but it was SO worth it.

I love the attitude of learning that this community seems to have -- people seem to be always practicing skills and there is no sense of "oh NO a mistake!" (at least that I noticed). I think that's why I felt so free with drumming. I was so happy to see hoopers who were amazingly skilled right next to hoopers who were just starting -- no sense of comparison, both just enjoying the movement of their own bodies. Beautiful -- I've not seen that attitude in an adult community before.

I brought rum and got a little drunk -- not enough to be completely wild, but enough to feel a little warmer and a little freer. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about being drunk at events, because on the one hand I like being more me, but on the other hand I feel like I want to achieve that extra uninhibitedness without alcohol. BUT. The drumming was pre-drinking, so clearly I'm getting closer to that goal anyway. And I really love how rum makes me feel -- it brings out my sensuality so it makes me more dancy and more kissy and more glowy. It also makes me a bit clumsier at talking though, 'cause I can't think as clearly, and I find that annoying.

and OH! the DANCING! the DJs were amazing and the music just kept calling to me. I love that I've gotten more fit over the summer because I was able to dance and dance until my soul was ready to stop instead of when my body demanded it!!!!!!!! THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! And I danced more freely than ever before and I felt so amazingly present and full of music and the people around me danced just as unselfconsciously. And two days later I still hurt all over my outside upper legs (I suppose my inner thighs get a workout more often, heh) and that just makes me happy.

I'm not sure how much anonymity to give people so I'm going to put all the interactions with people in a separate f-locked post :D If you wanna see it and you're not on my flist, email me (belenen at gmail) and I might send it to you (if I don't know you at all and you've never commented it's unlikely, but if we've interacted somehow I probably will).