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belenen: (Default)
belenen

April 2021

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Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.

belenen: (dreamy)
dreams (Foreman from HouseMD, confronting my mom about her ED, abstract sex-representation)
Twice recently I've dreamed about Foreman (after marathoning my way through House M.D.). In the first dream, I was a mocha-skinned Goddess (literally, in the reality of the dream I was superhuman) in a jungle-y area (wtf?) -- it was apparently my temple and he was there to worship. I think he sang for me, or recited poetry in my honor? he was much thicker than in real life, wearing only a blue loincloth that draped down to the floor (I'm embarrassed at recounting this, it seems so dreadfully stereotyped). The thing I noticed most was the cellulite on his butt and the back of his thighs, and I thought it was very intriguing and sexy how he was both muscular and plush. It's been a while so I don't remember much else, but he was very seductive and I was very appreciative. ;-)

The second dream I had of him was very short and simple -- I was alone and scared in a dark parking lot, and then I saw him he held his arms out to me. I ran over to him and he gave me the most amazing, enveloping hug -- he lifted me off of the ground, but it wasn't rib-crushing like it would have been in real life. It lasted a long time and was sooooo wonderful.

Night before last I dreamed about my mom. We were at our old old property, on the gravel driveway, and I confronted her about her ED. She tried to wave it off, but I reminded her of her size when she ate well and ran every day (she was at least 4 sizes thicker then) -- that was obviously her healthy size. With this new size she barely eats and she looks famine-stricken. She doesn't glow, and she seems so tired and breakable. I don't live with her so I haven't watched her habits myself, but lil sis knows that she doesn't eat. :-(

Then yesterday I had this web of dreams that my psyche told me were sex, except they weren't. One part of it was about walls that poured water, with a thin ledge high up on which I stood and pushed others off when they tried to climb up (I've had several similar dreams in the past). Another part was me choosing these packaged items -- shoes, or ipods? something weird. they were 'sex partners' in dream-reality. The rest I don't really remember, but it was all that weird and non-sensual. I woke up feeling very dissatisfied and lonely.


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