I used to have no defense when faced with someone saying negatives about me, but now it's so easy. I am loved, loved for who I am. There are people who know me, truly know me and don't have misconceptions -- and they would scoff at those negatives, shake their heads at the delusions of the speaker. Because of their belief in me, I have the strength to try and believe in myself. One day I will be able to wholeheartedly trust my own beliefs: until that day, I gratefully draw on the powerful trust of my glorious friends.

My friendship with alariya has deepened and grown phenomenally in the past two months. I think it started growing because I became soulfriends with Hannah, and that filled a place in my heart that has been achingly empty since I was born, and I simply had more love to give. Also, I realized just how amazing Ashley has been for the past year, and how incredibly much she has matured, and most importantly, I realized that my Analariya is willing to grow and change, for her own sake first and also for the sake of friendship. That is a rare quality, and one that I have learned is essential to deep friendship. I had always thought of our differences, how completely opposite in personality we are and how clashing some of our mindsets are, but I have now realized that commonality is not the primary ingredient for deep friendship. For goodness sake, Ben and I have NOTHING in common (personality and interests-wise), yet we have the most intense, glowing soulfriendship and marriage. The only similarity that I see as necessary for a deep friendship is in the manner of living; Ashley and I both believe that we are here to develop spiritually, and we both believe that the only way to true growth is by increasing in honesty, openness, and love. All surface differences fade away next to that, and we see each other as sisters, walking through the intricate jungle of life, seeing things from similar vantage points and yet interpreting completely differently, and learning from each other's perspective. We're not walking the same path, but our paths cross often enough that we feel connected.

We've been meeting Tuesday nights; it's become a little ritual for us. We sometimes go out, but usually she comes over in the evening, and we get naked and sit together, eating carrots (and occasionally fruit) and talking about our lives. There is something very free and honest about being unclothed together. There are no pretenses, no hiding. It's not mere symbolism; there is something spiritual about it. I think eating together is powerful too, in a lesser way, because it's an outward expression of the nourishment that we give each other.

Our meetings do more than affirm and build our friendship -- they are an expression of our femininity. We learn from each other what it means to really be a woman, not just a female. We cuddle, we laugh and cry and are completely expressive, we create new ideas by blending our individual ones. This sisterhood is not girly or transitory, to be shrugged off in favor of adult things -- it is permanent, and we both feel that it is just the beginning of a lifelong mission.