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no subject
Date: 2016-05-28 12:28 am (UTC)"I don't want to spend so much time and energy on one person that I cannot imagine my life without them and my identity becomes intermingled with our relationship, thus making it impossible to really know if I even want to be in it, or to know who I am without their influence"
And for multiple reasons. I've been in places hwere this has happened to me in unhealthy ways, and it was incredibly painful to come back from. Even so I think there's still an internalisation of the idea that that's how relationships *should* be that feels challenged by hearing this laid out so clearly.
But also it brings to mind some of the research I've read from cultural and indigenous psychologies. The conception of the self as an individual in this way is in many ways a "Western" concept. (I use "Western here for lack of a better term, though I don't like the word myself.) As an adopted woman of indigenous descent I have really struggled with incorporating my heritage into my identity, and my acceptance of my Self in this way feels in part to be a rejection of parts of myself that I'm still trying to unpack.