I get what you mean and I think normalizing intensity fluctuation is important -- but I don't feel like NRE normalizes fluctuation because the way I see it referenced, it's as a phase that only happens once per relationship. That's what I hate, the idea that this is some kind of phenomenon beyond human creation. I would much rather people understand that they can create intimacy anytime with anyone and that it fluctuates based on their own actions and situations and not some magical time period.

I understand that some people do like novelty... it's just not connected to love, for me. Those feelings and insights, I tend to have more often by deliberately creating them with people I already know extremely well. And I feel certain that I am not the only one, and that people are cutting themselves off from having these by thinking that they can't make them happen but have to just stumble into them.

I think part of my problem is that I just don't have much of a fondness for novelty, or rather, I don't find it exciting. So for me, the 345466th time I had the candy is as good as the first time, as long as I am being fully present.