So, big realizations through this! I didn't realize but how I feel seen is also how I feel nourished. And it's also what I look for in a good friend or a romantic relationship. It's the same list, for all three, and it clarifies so much. Since I made the list I'm so much more aware of what nourishes me. Like, I just had a conversation with Johan that immediately made me feel happy and nourished with just a few words. Because I wrote the list I was aware of the feeling of nourishment and I updated my list. Having this list feels like kind of a powerful tool, that I feel like I can use in certain ways to improve friendships and such. It's great.

And I would like at some point to talk about our lists in person. For me that feels like a really good ground from which to build intentional friendship: awareness of nourishment and intentionally cultivating that.

Could you maybe print me out a copy of these, both mine and yours?

If someone doesn't know how I feel nourished then it's a lot harder to feel seen. And not feeling seen has a lot to do with feeling shy for some reason, too. Also I think there are like natural, maybe neurological, or personality differences in how we do and structure certain things or friendship style that, really it's just this natural difference that doesn't have anything to do with me, but I attribute it to something special/faulty about *me*.