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no subject
Date: 2015-04-24 09:35 am (UTC)It comes from evidence. From being literally referred to as monogamous, from being treated as not a potential romance, other things. I'm getting more immune to it, but it's definitely there.
Differentiating between potential and actuality: which are you more likely to see? Which is easier for you?
potential. That's why I need the advice on actuality from people I trust to grasp it.
Where does the desire to cultivate new connections rather than putting that same energy into cultivating current ones come from? Like, are there certain needs not being met or gaps in current relationships, or do you like the variety and newness of exploring a new connection, or...? I know we've talked about seeking kindred green hearts and heart connections, where in your current relationships do you feel fulfilled around that?
It comes partly from outside pressure to prove I'm poly. Partly it's from unmet needs. I try with my current folk first. it's not about variety and newness. I would prefer, always, to deepen an already-built connection. Sometimes that is just not possible because of time, or a mismatch of emotional location, etc. If I don't feel nourished in the ways I am looking for, I seek new people. And lastly I seek new people because I don't want to miss opportunities for deep connection. I always want to welcome in people I can connect with on heart, spirit, soul, mind, body.
what your culture consists of, like if you were to analyze it anthropologically or sociologically or whatever, what are some of its main attributes? How did it become a part of you? And to what extent do you feel like your current friends are part of that culture?
My close friends are my culture. Our culture is what we have deliberately built -- openness, honesty, working shit out, cuddles (mostly), nudity (mostly), creativity, nature, consent, self-awareness, expressing needs, deliberate consumption (mostly), social justice, helping when you can, sharing resources, shamelessness, thriftiness, genderfuckery, exploration, learning. It always was part of me and them, we just built it more solid together.
Extended friends belong mostly to the cultures of eclectic pagan, SJ academia, burner, artist, poly, stoner. Lots of overlap, but some exist in just one.