I had a situation recently. I felt hurt by a friend's actions [not SF]. I cried a little and decided that just being normal with them would be spineless of me. I wanted them to feel as hurt as I did. I wanted to wound, assuming that was the only way I could make my presence felt. I was going to an event that they would be attending and worried all day how I would make them understand how badly they had made me feel.

Just before the event, I bumped into them in the street. It was so unexpected, so outside of any scenarios I had already thought through that when they said hello I was just incredibly surprised, blinked and said hello back. We fell into step together companionably and chatted normally [although by unspoken agreement we did not discuss the issue], and hung out for most of the evening at the event. The next day I wondered if I'd been weak, not making a point of trying to hurt them. Then I read this and realised that my natural reaction, my true reaction was just to get along with them, and show them that I cared. Thank you for helping me to realise I wasn't being weak and 'too kind'.