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belenen

April 2021

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Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.

belenen: (soulfriendship)
Hannah's visit: July 27-29th, 2006 -- meeting at last! exchange presents, morning & dinner w/ Ashley
We waited at the airport for hours, my neck getting increasingly sore from craning to spot her, scanning every girl's face who was remotely her height because I was paranoid that I wouldn't recognize her, and of course the second I walk away to get food because I'm faint from not having eaten all day, she shows up. So I come back with my hands full and am disconcerted when Ben isn't where I left him, my heart starts beating fast, I look around and there she is! I recognize her immediately and am completely blown away by how much more beautiful she is in real life than she is in photos (she said she'll never forget the surprised, delighted look on my face). A photo can only capture a fleeting glimpse of a person, and it can be an incredibly telling glimpse, but it is so weak compared to the real thing. She smiles excitedly and runs over and throws her arms around me, and I hug her back hard, utterly overwhelmed. That moment is emblazoned on my soul. ♥ In a minute we go over to the luggage claim, holding hands and grinning at each other, barely able to speak... and on the ride home we cuddled in the car, instantly comfortable with loving touch. She lay in my lap and I traced her face with my fingers, not yet able to believe that she was really there... We were both so exhausted (me emotionally, her both emotionally and physically after the 10-hour flight) that we went to sleep shortly after we got home, relaxed enough to be naked together after less than an hour. Oh -- but before we went to sleep I gave her a bunch of gifts that I had intended to mail but didn't, including the chenille throw that I had written on in dye pen, and she loooooooooved it. I don't think she could have loved it any more if I had actually finished it (I only finished writing along one end). It made me so happy that it meant so much to her!


awww. It makes me feel so loved every time I think about how much she loves it. ♥


The next morning I had to go for a pelvic sonogram, which Ashley sweetly drove me to, and Hannah came along of course. We were all


glittery and giggling

in the waiting room -- I think we offended the elderly couple waiting there, pish tush to them. When the nurse called my name I asked if they could come along and she seemed to think that was a strange request but she agreed easily. Then while I was on the table with my very full bladder (apparently that makes things more visible, ugh) the nurse informed me that the doctor wanted me to have a vaginal ultrasound too. So, to the tune of many jokes from Ashley and laughter from us (especially the nurse, who has never had so much fun with such a simple procedure, I'm sure), I had the completely unexpected joy of inserting a probe up my *ahem* and then having my insides prodded and poked -- with an audience. I don't think many people would be comfortable with that -- one of the reasons I love the three of us. ;-D It was actually fun!

Afterward we went to Hardee's and Hannah learned that in America, a biscuit is not a cookie. She thought the sausage biscuits and cinnamon raisin biscuits were delicious! Then Ashley took us to Boling Park and we went on a lushly sunny, hot, green barefoot walk to the A-bridge in the woods. We mostly walked beside the pathway because we have tender feet (especially me *shame*) and at one crossing Ashley just picked me up and walked me across the path! Hannah snapped photos. ;-) On the way back from the bridge (which was quite amazing) Hannah imitated Kanika's 'horny dance' (she was in heat) and didn't realize until AFTERWARDS that there were two guys behind her! We laughed and laughed and she fake-scowled at us for not telling her (we really hadn't noticed). She actually does a very good impression of Kanika! Just before we left we rolled down the hill... SO fun, haven't done that since before I had breasts!


I laugh a lot, especially when I'm happy


Ashley and I both were utterly glowing from the joy of hannah's presence


amazon Analariya carrying me across the walk


I looooooooooove this photo; my expression, the light through the trees, the motion of Ashley and I walking, the fact that hannah took it, the hot pink 'shag bracelet' that I found glowing in the grass and immediately wore...


handstands are SUCH a hannah thing, so glad I got a shot. I love how the skirt falls in an arc and I love her lushly curvy legs


and wow, the swirl of her skirt, her expression, the path leading on and the trees surrounding...


goddess [livejournal.com profile] alariya on the bridge in the woods


eee I love their expressions!!!


I kept running ahead to turn around and take pictures of them walking hand in hand -- so beautiful and loving.


see what I mean about the kissy pictures? there were at least two more just from that day. But it makes sense, considering the constant kissing that went on. ;-)


MY FAVORITE PHOTO OF HANNAH EVER!!!!!! The bold, lush color of the grass, violet shirt and swirly skirt, gorgeous legs showing, dirty bare feet, laughing freely -- I don't think a better portrait could be planned. ♥ ♥ ♥ She doesn't like it (wtf?) but she knows I loooooooove it so she's letting me post it anyway.

Hannah and I dropped Ashley off at work since she offered to let us have the car, but when we got home we started talking and ended up talking forever and then to taking a shower. It's so wonderful to be with a fellow nudist -- honest and comfortable (and it saves time and water). *happy sigh* Then we went through my entire closet and I gave her everything that didn't fit me but fit her -- we have very similar taste and she's the same size I was for a long time. It was so easy to let it go when I knew it was going to her, and that she looked so incredible in everything I gave her. She had to get another bag to get it all home though. And here's me in my favorite dress, which I had to show her -- this was before I picked up her photoaddiction or there would have been photos of her trying stuff on, grr.


I loooooove this dress, eventually I'm going to take it to a tailor and get her/him to make me several dresses in the same pattern.


then hannah gave me a soulfriendship ring!!!!!


reflection of openness

It's actually a half of one ring -- the two can be worn together to form a marquise shape. I can't even express how much I love this ring, it's my favorite piece of jewelry by far and possibly my favorite possession. She chose it because it represents our soulfriendship and the similarity of our twin violet spirits -- we are separate, but also one. I love the shape -- it seems so open to me, and for whatever reason it really looks to me like an Egyptian on a nile boat, which I see as being symbolic of hannah and I making the journey of life together. I also love it just as a work of art -- a mixture of delicate complexity (the stone) and strong simplicity (the band). And I love the fact that it is so incredibly unique. And I love that it is silver and amethyst! and that the amethyst has flashes of vivid violet in its depths. And I love the texturizing of the flat side of the band, which says to me that the journey won't be smooth, yet we will still be one. And I love the fact that it means as much to her as it does to me and she wears it every day. ♥

Then we picked Ashley up from work and Ben and Ashley and Hannah and I went to my favorite restaurant and had deliiiiiiiicious food (and Hannah ate about a pound of jalapenos!). I was so happy that Hannah loved it.


I love this one. I'm slowly falling in love with my own smile, thanks to these photos. I can see love radiating through it. I used to hate my teeth so I never smiled for photos, but I'm slowly growing out of that. There is no such thing as a body flaw.


hannah and her gloriousamazingstunning mossy forest eyes. wow.


can you see it? I like this one because it's not a fabulous photo, we both look a little uncomfortable (we were in the lobby of the auto dealership where Ashley works) but I can still see the intensification (bel word coinage!) of our spirits.


hannah gave me that shirt after seeing my extreme covetousness ;-) I looooooooove it! This was at the beginning of the visit so I was still 'candid camera shy' and smothering some of my smiles. You can't see my skirt well, but it has a jagged gauzy hem.


BEAUTIFUL Analariya!!! wow. That eyeshadow suited her SO AMAZINGLY -- it was made for her. It doesn't capture on camera well, but OMG in real life wow.


She was so stunningly confident and bold in that outfit -- it matches all the bold and wild facets of her and seems to allow them to manifest fully. She looks like a frazetta woman in it. ;-)


Afterwards we went home and (the three girls) had a deep conversation about past relationships and how amazing it is that we have found each other. Tears are so refreshing when there is someone who is honored to wipe them away and cuddle you.

Saturday was a really short day -- we got up late, went to the mall (to shop in Torrid and Fredericks of Hollywood) for a few hours, came home and went back to bed. I think we were both worn out from the day before, and being in the mall atmosphere didn't help. Malls are so full of people trying to project an image that doesn't reflect their true selves at all, while judging themselves (and therefore everyone else) so harshly. And everyone walks around in their detachment bubbles, ignoring their human need for connectedness out of fear of rejection and judgement. UGH! But anyway, Hannah was upset and I didn't realize because I was in a sort of detachment bubble myself, and that hurt her, and then when I realized I felt terrible but we pretty quickly worked it out and went straight to sleep. (that wasn't one of the 'fights,' in case you were wondering) The trip wasn't a total loss though, because Hannah got a fabulous purple bra and gouchos and a skirt from Torrid and we both got these AMAZING black dresses which were used in the formal photoshoot, so you shall see them eventually.

Consider this icon a preview of the formal photoshoot post. ;-D


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Three very beautiful ladies. Especially in the photo of you in your dress and the one where you say underneath there is no such thing as a body flaw, and the one underneath that of hannah and the one of alariya on the bridge and especially the one of her face close. Hannah posted that one, or a very similar one, and I thought how lovely she looked. I should probably tell her. And it is good to be less shy of your smile, because everyone looks best smiling, when it is real smiles, because they look happy. I told that to Tim because he doesn't like his smile. I like smiles, I watch his face when he watches comedy instead of watching the screen, it is a rare thing.

That is why all those photos are so great, because you all look so happy in them. Make me feel happy for you all :)
Oh my goodness...
Y'all are so beautiful!!! Your smile is something to fall in love with. Your user pic is one example of open-ness that I wish to experience with my friends...girls and boys. That is the ultimate closeness and it is beautiful.

OH!! I want friends like you and yours!
I wasn't done yet...
Hanna's eyes are gorgeous! And they compliment her dimples and vice-versa. I love how y'all embrace openness. You've completely closed the chasm; you're connected! I want to be in that place. Happy Place! So beautiful.

Ohhh...I think my friends feel that way inside, but we're all so scared to show it for fear of rejection and judgement, like you said. But we're so beautiful...and I could tell them (and myself, ironically) till we're blue in the face but it doesn't stick. Why is that?

Great photos! I'm glad you guys had such a wonderful time.
What wonderful pictures! I was almost teary! You three together remind me of the muses...or that statue of the graces. Bel, your smile is gorgeous, you should wear it all the time! It lights you up from inside and brings a glow to your beautiful face. Hannah is as beautiful as ever, so ethereal and yet at the same time rich, and deep and many faceted. And Ashley (you goddess you!) That outfit with the red sash/scarf thing is unbelieveable, wow! But what is most beautiful about Ashley is the essence of her wonderful heart, you can just see it in her lovely face, can't you? What leaps out of these pictures the most, however, is the simple and deep love between the three of you. I have never seen anything so beautiful.
I love the photos. Hannah is gorgeous :-) Looking forward to hearing about more of your adventures.
You all are so friendly and open with one another. I envy that so much. I'm glad you all enjoyed Hannah's visit, and I can't wait for the formal photoshoot post!

By the way, Hannah looks great in that pic with the muddy feet. Who knows why she doesn't like it???
So glad you girls had a wonderful time ;)
hey she's got eyes the same colour as me!

:-/

*feels all not special anymore* :-p


that black dress really does look good on you.


boobage in an icon... is bad for anyone viewing lj at work. luckily I'm home though, so... boob away. :-p I'm just sayin'.
I feel like I should add hannah now - you can't but feel a sense of instant familiarity with someone once you've seen em nekkid. :-p

lol
Yay! I enjoyed reading about this, but I don't think I'm going to make a for-real comment just yet because I am too busy being silly. I did however finally get around to posting, even though it only covers Sunday. :) I still have three other days to talk about, and so much happened on all three!

I love you, I value you - you make me a better, stronger Woman and inspire within me the strength to become more of myself.
oh my gosh Bel
I'm so jealous
:)
Beautiful pictures, Bel :) ♥ So glad you had a good time with Hannah (good being an understatement, I'm sure).
Yay, I'm loving these posts =D And I have to say, you look amazing in that black dress!
This post maks me really hapy! You all lok so happy and btw have such wonderful clothes! I love your purple shirt and Hannah's black skirt as well as alariya's waist scarf.
I'm greedy and I want more! My son stood behind me while I was reading and said 'they look nice'. And you all do!
three comments. I can't comment on your experience because it would sound fakey. "I'm glad you had a good time"??? Ick.

1) Hannah has amazingadorableawesome dimples
2) I really like your teeth. I like not "normal" teeth. The most gorgeous guy who works at the Safeway by my house has one of his front teeth crooked, and I think it's the sexiest thing.
3) Ashley's nose is sososososososo cute.
yay :)
i love hearing all the details and the photos are so much fun
as much as I adore how free you are... your icon is not exactly work or kid friendly.... luckily the kids are all napping..or my bosses would have fired me when I was flipping through my friends page.
EEEEEE!! i keep reading your entries (you plural; you and hannah and ashley) and being like "i wish i'd BEEN there!" but the more i read, the more i feel like i WAS there!! i love love LOVE that one of shmee in the woods and i LOVE your smile and i can't WAIT for more picturesssss!!! *squirms*
You girls are all so stunningly gorgeous, it hurts my eyes! Hehehe. It seems like you had such an AMAZING experience which you will all cherish forever. I hope to have one like that someday. You 3 look radiant in all the pictures.
You are all so stunningly amazingly beautiful. You all exude confidence and sexiness.
Wow, really gorgeous pictures.
These are great photos. You all look so happy!

I used to be on your friends list a little over a year ago. I think you may have deleted me because I didn't comment much. But, I'm around on LJ a lot more these days and would love it if you would add me. I'll definitely make an effort to comment on your entries and get to know you. I've actually been following your journal over the past year and have been inspired by your honest and open nature but didn't want to comment since I wasn't on your list.
I really enjoyed this post! Lovely pictures. You know you three look like sisters... there's a similarity in the eyes despite the different eye colors. And I love that black dress! you know how to rock it.
did you have a different screen name? I don't remember this one... but I think I remember you, were you engaged to peter (who was then 'individuality') and just meeting him in person for the first time?

if that is you, I didn't delete you for lack of commenting, I did it because you and peter were so close and he and I argued one time too many and I'm pretty sure he unfriended me and then I unfriended him and then I was worried that you wouldn't like me because of my clash with him so I took you off too. (eek run-on) I hadn't had you on my flist for very long at that point and hadn't really developed a connection with you so I figured you didn't care one way or the other.

On commenting, I love to recieve comments but I don't get upset if people comment rarely. As long as they take my polls and (at least occasionally) respond to my comments in their journal, then I feel like they are investing in me and I can invest in them also. I'm not that great with commenting myself, so it'd be hypocritical for me to get upset about someone else not commenting. ;-)

I'm really really touched and flattered that you have followed my journal and that you took the risk of reaching out to me and offering to spend more energy on me than you usually would. ♥ I'd love to try being friends again and see if we click better now that we're both more consciously choosing it -- and I think we will. Thank you for offering. ;-)
Yes, I was [livejournal.com profile] among_the_stars then. I totally assumed it was the commenting thing. I'm always making assumptions no matter how many times I tell myself not to. lol
Hi, my name is Melissa, and I am a member of curveygirls... on there, i have mostly seen you post quizes, moderate, etc. it was neat to see who you are at least in part through this post.

I would love it if you added me as a friend.

Lissa

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