Tags
- #2 1 use
- #capd 1 use
- #central auditory processing disorder 1 use
- #friends 1 use
- 'lj idol' 74 uses
- 22days 13 uses
- abby 31 uses
- abstract concepts 12 uses
- abuse 3 uses
- accessibility 7 uses
- ace 73 uses
- action 2 uses
- add-pi 56 uses
- adi 17 uses
- adrienne 42 uses
- affection 4 uses
- affirmation 12 uses
- allison 151 uses
- analytics 1 use
- angelina 55 uses
- anger 50 uses
- anika 90 uses
- animals 15 uses
- anti-hierarchy 4 uses
- anti-racism 6 uses
- anxiety 3 uses
- anxiety / overwhelmed / stress 23 uses
- anxiety/overwhelmed/stress 40 uses
- arizona 78 uses
- art 74 uses
- art -- collages 3 uses
- art -- dancing 2 uses
- art -- drawing 3 uses
- art -- fractals 4 uses
- art -- jewelry 11 uses
- art -- painting (digital) 3 uses
- art -- painting (traditional) 17 uses
- art -- photography 165 uses
- art -- sculpture 7 uses
- artistic inspiration sharing 44 uses
- ash 165 uses
- ashe 109 uses
- atlanta 9 uses
- audio 1 use
- aurilion 181 uses
- aurilion -- visiting 2008-05 (home) 24 uses
- aurilion -- visiting 2008-07 (home) 12 uses
- aurilion -- visiting 2008-10 (away) 12 uses
- aurilion -- visiting 2008-12 (home) 9 uses
- aurilion -- visiting 2013-12 (home) 2 uses
- ava 30 uses
- b - ex-partner 286 uses
- backdated crosspost from facebook 1 use
- bdsm 12 uses
- bellydancing 9 uses
- big trees forest preserve 25 uses
- biofamily 171 uses
- birthday 146 uses
- bits n pieces 22 uses
- bob 4 uses
- body image 150 uses
- books 95 uses
- borderpagans 1 use
- bumper stickers 7 uses
- burns 8 uses
- butterfly boucher 9 uses
- camellia 3 uses
- capd 5 uses
- care and feeding of belenens 52 uses
- cass 17 uses
- cationes 9 uses
- chemtrails 30 uses
- chip 22 uses
- christa 16 uses
- christianity 40 uses
- christmas 28 uses
- church 45 uses
- church - liberty 28 uses
- church - unity 11 uses
- clothesfree 93 uses
- cobra spirit 22 uses
- coding 7 uses
- coffee 4 uses
- colaboratory 4 uses
- cold 2 uses
- color voices 8 uses
- colors 17 uses
- coming-forth by day 2 uses
- comment threads on facebook 1 use
- commentless posts 37 uses
- comments 51 uses
- communication / words 46 uses
- communication/words 99 uses
- community 11 uses
- compassion 17 uses
- conflict 9 uses
- connections 48 uses
- consent 28 uses
- contact info 6 uses
- conversations with strangers 34 uses
- counseling 21 uses
- cousin e 4 uses
- crafty parties 4 uses
- creativity 30 uses
- crushes 20 uses
- curiosity 1 use
- curvygirls 43 uses
- cyber citizen 9 uses
- dailyevents 1 use
- dancing 47 uses
- dates 9 uses
- days and moments 21 uses
- deb 3 uses
- deities 81 uses
- deity 67 uses
- demisexual musings 12 uses
- describe me to a stranger 13 uses
- destined happenings 38 uses
- disability 1 use
- disconnection 24 uses
- donovan 2 uses
- dreams 380 uses
- dreams more real than waking 122 uses
- dreamsymbols - excluded at my own gather 1 use
- dreamsymbols - fish out of water 5 uses
- dreamsymbols - lovers 1 use
- dreamsymbols - magical creatures 1 use
- dreamsymbols - magical objects 1 use
- dreamsymbols - stairs 2 uses
- dreamsymbols - toilets 1 use
- drumming 22 uses
- dwelling place 8 uses
- egypt 21 uses
- elizabeth 7 uses
- elya 42 uses
- empathy 7 uses
- endless parentheticals 1 use
- energy handling 3 uses
- energy work 11 uses
- etowah mounds 6 uses
- evelyn 16 uses
- eviltwin 45 uses
- ex-in-laws 109 uses
- extended metaphor 2 uses
- eye contact 2 uses
- facebook 17 uses
- facebook-first crossposts 17 uses
- fae 24 uses
- faith 44 uses
- family-in-love 2 uses
- familyism 6 uses
- fasting 21 uses
- fat 4 uses
- fatness 1 use
- favorites 12 uses
- fear / insecurity 13 uses
- fear/insecurity 18 uses
- felix 2 uses
- feminism/equalism 70 uses
- femme 4 uses
- films / shows 37 uses
- films/shows 65 uses
- finances 7 uses
- findings friday 5 uses
- firekat 29 uses
- fish 2 uses
- flocked 6 uses
- food 24 uses
- forgiveness 5 uses
- friendship 86 uses
- friendships 63 uses
- fungi 1 use
- gabe 18 uses
- gathers 7 uses
- geb 8 uses
- gely 3 uses
- gender 91 uses
- genderfree 17 uses
- genderfree/trans 3 uses
- genitals 1 use
- georgia 23 uses
- gifts 3 uses
- giving 42 uses
- glass 34 uses
- goals 32 uses
- god/dess 56 uses
- goodnewsnetwork.org 9 uses
- graphics with descriptions 10 uses
- gratitude 14 uses
- green 4 uses
- growth 138 uses
- gypsy spirit 4 uses
- hair 33 uses
- hannah 247 uses
- hannah -- visiting 2006 (home) 30 uses
- hannah -- visiting 2007 (home) 24 uses
- hannah -- visiting 2008 (away) 29 uses
- hannahcohn 2 uses
- hapi 3 uses
- healing 45 uses
- health 51 uses
- heart 14 uses
- heart connections 29 uses
- hearts n crafts 1 use
- heather 37 uses
- hedwig 1 use
- home 48 uses
- honesty 46 uses
- hope 43 uses
- hyacinth 11 uses
- icons 44 uses
- identity 31 uses
- important comments 2 uses
- interconnectedness 7 uses
- intimacy 31 uses
- intimacy practice 11 uses
- intuition 29 uses
- jaime 7 uses
- jedidiah 2 uses
- jewelry 74 uses
- journalling 8 uses
- joy 33 uses
- justben 43 uses
- kanika 91 uses
- kat 37 uses
- kat k 3 uses
- kate 36 uses
- kay 8 uses
- kaylene 75 uses
- kazi 48 uses
- kei-won-tia 21 uses
- kimberley 18 uses
- koronah 1 use
- kristy 39 uses
- kwt 1 use
- kyle 20 uses
- kylei 84 uses
- laugh 35 uses
- laura 6 uses
- layouts 2 uses
- learn-sharing 7 uses
- learning 30 uses
- letters 5 uses
- life in the time of covid-19 2 uses
- life story 32 uses
- lil sis 16 uses
- lilywolf 6 uses
- linkage 109 uses
- lists 18 uses
- little chaotic posts 52 uses
- lj 15 uses
- lj friends 509 uses
- lj idol 8 uses
- lj my beloved home 53 uses
- ljing feedback 18 uses
- localtribe 58 uses
- locke 5 uses
- lookism 15 uses
- love 126 uses
- love memory bank 12 uses
- lovetech 45 uses
- maggie 12 uses
- magic 111 uses
- magic vials 6 uses
- maps 9 uses
- meliae 26 uses
- meme 166 uses
- memory 9 uses
- metamours 2 uses
- michael b 8 uses
- mind connections 1 use
- mindhacks 1 use
- mm 2 uses
- money 68 uses
- moving 12 uses
- mundanity 6 uses
- music 184 uses
- music sharing 38 uses
- my habits 1 use
- my lodestars 38 uses
- my partner 90 uses
- my partner's family 44 uses
- my tribe 19 uses
- n/a* 4 uses
- names 64 uses
- nature 58 uses
- nea 30 uses
- neurodivergence 6 uses
- new mindsets 9 uses
- nick 28 uses
- nicole 4 uses
- noe venable 15 uses
- numbers 3 uses
- olden days of internet 3 uses
- open-mindedness 9 uses
- openness 104 uses
- other-directed education 27 uses
- otters 3 uses
- overwhelm 3 uses
- paganism 9 uses
- pain 283 uses
- parenting 5 uses
- passions 13 uses
- pat 53 uses
- personality 9 uses
- philosophical musings 62 uses
- phone 8 uses
- photos 270 uses
- pibling kc 1 use
- pibling l 4 uses
- places 1 use
- plant magic 12 uses
- play 1 use
- plumb 3 uses
- poetry 61 uses
- political 11 uses
- polls 195 uses
- polyamory 39 uses
- polyamory / relationship anarchy 45 uses
- positivity 18 uses
- postcard meme 15 uses
- presents 31 uses
- prosopagnosia 1 use
- queerness 108 uses
- questions 103 uses
- quotes 9 uses
- race 34 uses
- random 33 uses
- rants 162 uses
- rebecca 110 uses
- recovery / therapy / healing 50 uses
- recovery/therapy 38 uses
- recovery/therapy/healing 4 uses
- relationships 167 uses
- respect 6 uses
- reviews 8 uses
- risk-taking 53 uses
- ritual 19 uses
- rob 5 uses
- roger 3 uses
- romance 31 uses
- sabr 64 uses
- sacred creations 12 uses
- sadie 6 uses
- sam 6 uses
- sande 11 uses
- sara 18 uses
- scarlett 1 use
- scents 13 uses
- sci-fi 6 uses
- screened 17 uses
- self as sacred wholeness 1 use
- self-awareness 5 uses
- self-decorating 13 uses
- self-educating 33 uses
- self-portraits 51 uses
- sensuality 65 uses
- serendipity 28 uses
- serenity 9 uses
- serpents 12 uses
- sex 153 uses
- sexual abuse 31 uses
- sexually violent language 4 uses
- sharee 1 use
- shel 19 uses
- sick 18 uses
- slurs 11 uses
- snapchat 1 use
- snow leopards 12 uses
- social justice / feminism 89 uses
- social justice/feminism 80 uses
- solstice 8 uses
- soul 30 uses
- soul connections 18 uses
- soul-spirit issues 33 uses
- soulfriendship 50 uses
- spirit 62 uses
- spirit connections 71 uses
- spiritual birthday 1 use
- spirituality 316 uses
- stats 2 uses
- stepwise processing 20 uses
- sticky 1 use
- stones 1 use
- stress 1 use
- stress overwhelm 3 uses
- summer 6 uses
- sunny 5 uses
- suzu 4 uses
- sydney 11 uses
- sylvia 12 uses
- taboos 2 uses
- tbc 9 uses
- the essential belenen collection 277 uses
- the green couch 53 uses
- the pack 6 uses
- theophostic 29 uses
- thiago 2 uses
- this post doesn't deserve a tagline 4 uses
- those passing through 230 uses
- time structures 6 uses
- tips n tricks for the nonstandard thinke 1 use
- tone criminal 6 uses
- topaz 104 uses
- totems 9 uses
- touch 91 uses
- transit 1 use
- transness 1 use
- travel 1 use
- travels 11 uses
- tree-hugging 10 uses
- trees 139 uses
- tribe 14 uses
- true self 22 uses
- truth-or-truth 4 uses
- tsundoku tuesday 2 uses
- turning points 198 uses
- twilight-serenity 4 uses
- unicorns 3 uses
- values 1 use
- videos 51 uses
- viv 62 uses
- voice posts 3 uses
- vola 5 uses
- wade 3 uses
- wanderlusting 16 uses
- wildness 5 uses
- winter 4 uses
- wish list 25 uses
- wishwood 18 uses
- witnessing art 1 use
- wonderland 1 use
- work 70 uses
- work stories 19 uses
- writing 48 uses
- writing prompts 24 uses
- writing prompts (lj idol & etc) 140 uses
- writing prompts (lj idol & etc) 1 use
- www.belenen.net 6 uses
- wynnes 124 uses
- z go back and respond dammit 3 uses
- zawn 2 uses
- zodiac 9 uses
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 06:12 am (UTC)I know how that is -- that's how I was my whole life until the past year, and it was so incredibly frustrating. I felt like I just wasn't good enough to be loved for who I was, just for what I did. And therefore I was terrified of making mistakes because I expected to be dropped, dismissed, forgotten for them. Often I was.
I don't know what it is that has made a change, but now I find myself being pursued for the first time in my life, and I don't know how to handle it. I LOVE it when someone emails or writes me or comments, but I am terrible about responding! It doesn't make sense.
I think it has something to do with the new company that I keep, and with the new person that I am. I no longer cling to people who only want me for what they can get from me, and I see myself as a person that others are lucky to be friends with. YOU are a person others are lucky to be friends with, do you wholeheatedly agree with that? Because it is so true. You have so much to offer. But a friendship isn't just about one person giving -- it's about both giving to each other and helping each other to grow. One of the hardest things I have learned is that when someone is not giving to you and not helping you to grow, they are not your friend, and giving to them is pouring water down the drain. It might help them, sure, but it's only going to drain you, so if you're going to give to them you need to have other relationships that are nourishing enough to make up for it. If they are not giving to you or helping you to grow, it is no shame to let them go, because they have already made the choice to not be your friend.
I feel like you have such a giving spirit, such a kind heart, and you find it very hard to give up on people. But perhaps learning how to do that is exactly what you need. If your 'friendships' tear you down, they aren't real friendships... and if you are tired of being treated terribly, then draw the line sooner. If a relationship goes stangant, no positivity or growth, then stir it up -- if it gets better keep it, if it doesn't, toss it. You can always get it later if the time is right, and keeping it isn't going to do you any good -- it will probably result in you being treated terribly once again.
These are just my opinions of course. ;-)