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belenen

April 2021

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Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.

Date: 2009-07-16 03:20 am (UTC)
Well... that's the thing, it's not about where the relationship is. I feel content in the direction and pace of my relationships. It's hard to put into words. To use the money metaphor, it's not like I got lots of money but I want more more more -- it's like I got lots of money and I'm like, "now what do I do with this?" Currently it's just gathering interest, which is nice, but there is surely more potential. Money itself is a lot easier of course -- if you don't know what to do with it you can just give it to people who do. I'm not complaining, I'm grateful, but I'm at a loss directionally.

That's part of what makes this so baffling -- I DO appreciate what I have, very much, and I'm not craving more of the same (which is a nice change). It's more about my life's purpose, my life goal (which is closely intertwined with how I relate to people). Of course, I'm just now realizing this after writing it out so convolutedly ;-)
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