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belenen: (Default)
belenen

June 2017

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Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.

belenen: (curious)
quick question
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

[Poll #2061628]


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belenen: (challenging)

[Poll #2058480]
connecting:


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belenen: (interconnectedness)
thanks for being wonderful, LJ friends / poll: where do you live?
icon: "interconnectedness (two bald purple-skinned people in the ocean: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")"

Finally caught up on replying to comments today. I really do have just the sweetest friends list. In fact, overall I think my friends list right now actually has the highest number of meaningful connections that I've ever had. I really adore many of you and am excited about getting to know some of my newer friends. LJ is my beloved home and I'm pleased that we share this building *heartglow*

Speaking of home, I'm curious as to how my current readers are scattered (only I can see who chose what).
Please ONLY answer if you read my journal )


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belenen: (challenging)
MASSIVE BOOK POLL. I laboriously compiled a list of my formative books. pls check what you've read!
icon: "bluestocking (photo of a book lying open on a table with a bright window in the background, overlaid with a yellow fractal that looks like the sun shining through dust motes)"

under a cut to save your flist. Please do the poll if you have read even just one of them! )


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belenen: (curious)
poll: do you read the comments before, after, or neither?
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

I realized just now that I usually do not read other people's comments before leaving my own, because I do not want to sway my response -- yet I often do read the comments before adding mine in places that aren't LJ. So I want to see if this is unusual, or if there is a discernible pattern to be found.

[Poll #2048714]


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belenen: (curious)
polls: audio recordings of my posts? / opt-out for sex talk filter
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

Sometimes I read my posts out loud to Topaz while they're cooking or otherwise have hands and eyes occupied, and lately I was thinking about recording them for broader use. I'd like some feedback on the idea -- no one but me can see what you answered! I'm screening comments in case you want to give a private response but will unscreen unless you request otherwise.
[Poll #2046442]
Oh, and I realized that those new to my LJ might like some context for the people in my life, so here is my most recent version of the characters in the story of my life. It does need updating, but it mostly has the people I reference often.

Oh! and I automatically add people to my sex talk filter. It's the only content filter I use, and I don't use it often but if I am talking about sexual experiences I friends-lock them if the person/people I am having sex with prefer it that way (as is usually the case). Here is your chance to opt-out:
[Poll #1433403]


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belenen: (incitement)
poll: how would you respond to this greeting?
icon: "incitement (painting of a bald purple-skinned naked person standing among thick vines and ferns: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")"

[Poll #2045782]

explanation )


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belenen: (curious)
poll: qualities a person must have for you to have sex with them
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

Random poll of a thing I've been wondering about -- what qualities must a person have for you to be interested in having sex with them (assuming of course that they want to have sex with you)?
[Poll #2039642]

If there are other requirements you have, please comment with them! Comments are screened but will be unscreened unless you request they stay private.
connecting: ,


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belenen: (analytical)
poll: self-labels, core values, yearnings, connecting activities, creation
icon: "analytical (a close-up photo of my eye in bright sunlight, showing the green and grey and roots-looking patterns)"

[Poll #2038198]

If you run out of room, feel free to comment!


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belenen: (curious)

icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

I've been wondering...

[Poll #2027008]
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belenen: (queer)
allosexual, asexual, demisexual, grey-asexual definitions & explanations & poll
icon: "queer (the logo for Transcending Boundaries Conference overlaid with the words "genderfree, queer, + trans / never a 1 or 0")"

A person who experiences sexual attraction in a way that matches the norm is called allosexual.
A person who never experiences sexual attraction is called asexual.
A person who experiences sexual attraction only in the context of an emotional connection is called demisexual.
A person for whom none of that is true (perhaps they experience sexual attraction very rarely, or in cycles, or only in certain situations) is called grey-asexual.

Another way the difference between allosexual and demisexual people is explained is by dividing sexual attraction into two types. Type 1 sexual attraction is when something external about the person (looks, smell, the way someone moves, their voice, their style, etc) creates sexual attraction for you. Type 2 sexual attraction is when emotional connection creates sexual attraction for you. Allosexuals can experience both. Demisexuals only experience Type 2. Asexuals don't experience either. Grey-asexuals vary. Still a bit confused? this FAQ answers a lot of questions in depth: Under the Ace Umbrella: Demisexuality and Gray-asexuality.

A lot of demisexuals have a time element to their sexual attraction (they need to know the person for a length of time before they can feel sexually attracted), but I don't think this is inherent. I think it just takes a good amount of time for most people to get to a place where they feel emotionally connected. I have spent a good chunk of my life reducing the amount of time it takes me to feel emotionally connected with someone, so I know how to build intimacy really quickly if the other person can be fully present and engaged. So, theoretically, I could feel sexual attraction to someone the same day I met them. This has happened once, when I met someone who was a violet spirit and feminist and trans and cuddly and we went to a cuddle party and talked about meaningful things the whole time. Usually it's not until I've had a 7+ hour conversation on intense topics with the person, and I really doubt it could ever happen in one day with someone who wasn't a violet spirit (violet spirit is a belenen-specific concept that references how I perceive the non-physical aspects of people). I've parsed out the four essential elements for me to feel sexual attraction to someone and I'll make that a separate post.

What about you?
[Poll #2018055]


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belenen: (blossoming)
poll - if I gave you a book, would you read it soon? & how do you feel about me sending you energy?
icon: "blossoming (willow arlenea painting of a person with long hair "blooming" out of a plant. Everything is translucent and there are energy lines running through it)"

random questions I've been meaning to ask:
[Poll #2005299]

The latter is because I'm considering a daily practice wherein I draw a name from a jar and send that person positive energy of some kind. I want to make a new set of paper coins for this but I don't want to include anyone who wouldn't like it.
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belenen: (curious)
for those who read my journal: how old are you?
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

[livejournal.com profile] bunnika and I were talking about the olden days of LJ (when we were about the average age on the site I think) and realized it's been 10 years. Now I'm wondering if LJ has aged in its average user in my little corner, answer pls!

[Poll #2001991]


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belenen: (hypnotiq)
free small fractal print if you tell me your favorites in this poll!
icon: "hypnotiq (my fractal "Windwheel" -- an abstract swirl of yellow red and orange with a little green)"

Well, I got distracted attempting to build a website to function as a central hub for my art, so I didn't catch up on my flist yet but I hope to tomorrow.

If you will do me the HUGE favor of looking through my current fractal gallery (sorry no image descriptions yet, the site is still mostly non-functional) and telling me the titles of your favorites (the alt text gives the title, as well as the full-size page), I will delightedly mail you a small print (one of your favorites). Just fill this out, then comment with your address if you want a print (comments are screened). This offer is only good for the first 22 who do the poll* and request a print (not that I think there will be that many, just don't want to sign myself up for more than I can afford!). Yes I will send internationally. Good god so many parentheticals (too many).

[Poll #1996460]

I'm asking because I am attempting to put up some of my art at local coffeehouses, and I want to give myself the best chance by printing the most popular ones for display.

*unless you need image descriptions to do this, then I'll do it anytime after i get the descriptions up.

ETA @11pm EST Jan 26: so far, 10 claimed.
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belenen: (interconnectedness)
poll: naming that thing that means family without all the gross blood stuff
icon: "interconnectedness (two bald purple-skinned people in the ocean: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")"

[Poll #1995242]
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belenen: (curious)
recent curiosities: hot brews and artists
icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"


[Poll #1991806]

Who is your favorite artist in each of your favorite mediums and why?
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belenen: (earrings)
earrings design poll: what would you wear?
icon: "earrings"

please check out my jewelry etsy and give me some feedback! I'd like as many responses as possible so if you're willing to send your friends over to give their answers too that would be fantastic!

[Poll #1985705][Poll #1985705]

Topaz is going to help me put together some promo stuff and I need to pick some earrings to take photos of, so I need to know what the most popular designs are. Please help by picking the ones you are most likely to ACTUALLY WEAR (or buy for someone you know would actually wear them), not the ones you think are prettiest :D

rainfall chimes: long thin cylindrical beads hanging from chain, with teardrop shaped beads at the bottom. They are graduated with the longest chain on the inside (next to the face) and shortest on the outside. (example in red)

chainfall daggers: 5 dagger beads (like stretched diamonds with one point pulled away from the others) hanging from chain that is longest in the center, getting shorter in even steps on both sides. When these are a double-pair set, there is a small set of 2 dagger beads that are longer closer to the face, so that they continue the even steps-up from the larger main pair. (example in violet-blue matte)

infinity orbs: infinity-shaped links connected in a chain, each chain ending in round beads. These are stacked together shortest in front, longest in back, but they hang overlapped and swirl around each other. (examples: opalite and rainbow)

candycoated waterdrops: a cluster of glass teardrops spiral around a central chain like a corkscrew. The effect is similar to a spiral staircase. (examples: clear speckled amber and cobalt)

sky falling: chandelier earrings, with a rounded wire shape with 5 loops giving structure. From this shape hang silver curved-link chain that is longest in the center, getting shorter in even steps on both sides. In addition, there are three shorter chains that hang in the center and on the outside. Each chain ends in a bead, with 3 large and 5 small on each earring. (examples: moon and stars and leaves and teardrops)

gentle rain: chandelier earrings, with a small diamond wire shape at the top that is strung with seed beads. From the bottom three points of the diamond hang three wires strung with seed beads and 3 focal beads, ending in 3 drop-shaped beads. (examples: pale purple hearts and faceted teardrops and green leaves)

after the rain: from 3 graduated chains hang a large semi-rectangular bead with a tiny spearpoint bead dangling below it. When these are a double-pair set, a shorter pair with a single chain makes the outside pair of earrings.(example: lime green and capri blue)

waterfall chimes: from 5 chains that are longest in the center, getting shorter in even steps on both sides, hang long thin cylindrical beads, with some kind of focal bead at the bottom (round, teardrop, or oddly-shaped). When these are a double-pair set, there is a small set of 2 chains with the same beads that are longer closer to the face, so that they continue the even steps-up from the larger main pair. (examples: green and silver, pink and silver, capri blue and shells)

bi elegance: two lines of beads hanging together with the longer line closer to the face: wide variety of beads. (examples: green-amber-brown and pink-purple-silver and pink-green double pair made to match fabric)

tri simplicity: three chains hang at irregular lengths, two ending in a line of seed beads and one ending in a line of slightly larger beads. When these are a double-pair set, there is a small set of 2 chains with the same beads (one seed-bead line, one larger-bead line) for the outer pair. (example: rainbow double-pair set)

serpent flowing: graduated chains with the longest chain on the inside (next to the face) and shortest on the outside end in a short set of 2-3 beads. When these are a double-pair set, the shorter outer set continues the pattern. (examples: opaque and clear red and green and blue)

other: ask and I'll give a detailed description (there are descriptions on the etsy but I don't know how good they are, they're more for prettiness than accuracy).
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belenen: (magical)
the -5 to +5 scale, as I think it / poll / custom suggestions for openmagic
I use a scale of desire when I am negotiating plans. Here are the meanings I assign to the numbers:

+5: it would make my life awesome! Every time I thought about it afterward it would make me feel happy, forever!
+4: it would make my week! I'd be thrilled!
+3: exciting! I'm invested in making this happen.
+2: sounds nice, I might be willing to put forth some effort for it.
+1: I like the idea, but I'm not at all invested in it and don't want to put forth effort.
0: I either have no preference or equal and opposite preferences.
-1: I dislike the idea, but not enough to actively avoid it.
-2: the idea is bothersome and I might put forth some effort to avoid it.
-3: the idea makes me quite uncomfortable and I am going to avoid it if at all possible.
-4: if this happened it would ruin my whole week and make me quite unhappy.
-5: if this happened it would ruin my life and make me miserable thinking about it for ever.

Using this scale, please tell me frankly:
[Poll #1978501]

Also, it would help me if some people would fill out my custom order form, so I can both get inspiration and notice any issues. Filling this out does not obligate you to anything! If you don't actually want it and are just offering sample data, please put "sample data" in that first box :) If you want it and can't afford it, please note that to me also.


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belenen: (curious)
sex numbers poll!
[Poll #1977931][Poll #1977931]

After you have told me your numbers,

number of people I have kissed: more than 60, last I counted
number of people I have passionately made out with: somewhere around 20
number of people I have had sex with: 11
number of people I have been penetrated by: 7
number of people I have penetrated: 5
number of people I have had energy-play sex with: 6
number of people I have gone down on: 5 (all amab!)
number of people who have gone down on me: 3 (also all amab, heh)
number of people I have had no-barriers sex with: 2



Comments screened but will be unscreened unless you request them to stay that way.
sounds: Deeyah & Freemuse - Kurash Sultan - Atlan Dok | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (curious)
poll: what do you like to read and what of mine do you like to read?
[Poll #1975398]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: what are your receiving-comments preferences?
[Poll #1973651]

Please let me know any other commenting preferences you have in comments. Screened for now, I will unscreen unless you request they stay screened.
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belenen: (curious)
names and places poll
[Poll #1971473]
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belenen: (hypnotiq)
poll: what are your privileges? (not a comprehensive list)
no one can see your individual responses but me.



[Poll #1970899]

Mine, selected out:
white-passing, cis-passing, non-disabled, non-mobility-impaired, citizen of one of the western countries, have regular access to the internet, college-educated, a sexual person, legitimate job (when I have one), able to obtain and consume healthy food without struggle, able to avoid the mental replaying of trauma.

Those last two privileges I did not have in the past -- if you have always had these privileges, I don't think it is possible to imagine how lacking them overwhelms your life.


Not comprehensive, and I am in no way implying that all of these are 'equal.'

Screening comments in case people want to respond in-depth but not publicly. If you want your comment to STAY screened please mention that.


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belenen: (self-love)
masturbation -- how often do you do it? what's fun for you? (poll and my answers)
Only I can see these answers and I won't tell anyone ;-)
[Poll #1969031]

I masturbate about once every 1-4 months, usually to make menstrual cramps go away, occasionally to bring my period on faster. It's very rare that I masturbate for its own sake. The sensation of an orgasm is pleasant, but the actual masturbation is boring, and it only takes like 5 minutes so it doesn't feel worth the trouble. I find even ethical porn (that rare, rare creature) to be full of tropes I don't like (and I would need to go to the trouble of contacting the actors to ask their consent for me to get off using their image anyway), so that doesn't work for me. Thinking about my lover(s) makes me want to have sex with them, which makes me frustrated with the lack of connection in masturbation. (phone sex counts as sex, but if they are less than an hour away that is just frustrating too) I've tried using a mirror, which is better than nothing for connection but still not that interesting.

The only thing that reliably turns me on and makes masturbation fun is physical difficulty; using a vibrator while balancing on an exercise ball without touching anything, or while in a yoga pose (bound angle, cow face, camel, cat, chair), while standing, etc. I can go hands free because my thighs hold it in place very well. I guess it works for me because my body is an active participant so it gives me that sense of connection through a constant communication with my muscles.
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belenen: (eccentric)
poll: what do you want to read about?
Thinking about doing some themed writing in the few days I have left before school starts again. Help motivate me!
[Poll #1766979]
and if there are other things you'd like to see me write on, please comment and tell me.
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belenen: (artistic)
tattoo poll (asking)
as I was lying in bed unable to sleep last night, I reflected on tattoos and even though I rather want "gender abolitionist" to be my first one, I also want to get something SOON and it's just become high-backed shirts weather :-< since I've moved "gender abolitionist" to my back, my right wrist has no tattoo planned, and I had a new idea (or two) and I want to know:

[Poll #1625527]

also, which design idea do you like more? the word on the wrist or the tag on the hand?
sounds: Massive Attack - Saturday Come Slow | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (artistic)
tattoo poll (asking)
as I was lying in bed unable to sleep last night, I reflected on tattoos and even though I rather want "gender abolitionist" to be my first one, I also want to get something SOON and it's just become high-backed shirts weather :-< since I've moved "gender abolitionist" to my back, my right wrist has no tattoo planned, and I had a new idea (or two) and I want to know:

[Poll #1625527]

also, which design idea do you like more? the word on the wrist or the tag on the hand?
sounds: Massive Attack - Saturday Come Slow | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (openness)
openness and privacy / poll: how much can I talk about you?
For years I associated almost-exclusively with people who had a similar view toward privacy -- considering it a hindrance to openness and actively dismantling it. It has been so odd for me to begin interacting regularly with people who preferred or were forced into privacy, or whose stance on the subject was unknown to me. When unknown, I really am not sure how to behave -- my instinct is to talk about them like I do about strangers and close friends, as that would clearly be the most open route. But I don't know how they'd react and haven't wanted to go to each of them individually and ask (laziness? fear that they would be put off by what I had to say? the awkwardness of saying to a near-stranger "I want to talk about you"? esp. when that doesn't necessarily mean I also want to talk TO you?). By default I've ended up saying very little, which bothers me because now my journal is missing first impressions and the development of those sprouting friendships. Which have been a huge part of my life!

So I'm making a poll, via screened comments (anonymous is on so that non-LJ-ers can answer, just tell me your name). No response defaults you to my discretion, which means that unless I would want privacy on it myself (and I can't think of much that fits that category), I'll say it publicly. (unless you've specifically asked me for privacy on something -- then of course I won't share it)

your privacy level:

1) don't talk about me at all.
2) email me a copy of what you want to post about me and let me decide how public it will be or if I want you to leave bits out.
3) friends-lock all you say about me.
4) don't talk about these specific things: _________________________ in relation to me.
5) friends-lock mentions of these specific things: _________________________ in relation to me.
6) use a pseudonym and say whatever you want, however you want.
7) just say whatever you want, however you want.
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belenen: (openness)
openness and privacy / poll: how much can I talk about you?
For years I associated almost-exclusively with people who had a similar view toward privacy -- considering it a hindrance to openness and actively dismantling it. It has been so odd for me to begin interacting regularly with people who preferred or were forced into privacy, or whose stance on the subject was unknown to me. When unknown, I really am not sure how to behave -- my instinct is to talk about them like I do about strangers and close friends, as that would clearly be the most open route. But I don't know how they'd react and haven't wanted to go to each of them individually and ask (laziness? fear that they would be put off by what I had to say? the awkwardness of saying to a near-stranger "I want to talk about you"? esp. when that doesn't necessarily mean I also want to talk TO you?). By default I've ended up saying very little, which bothers me because now my journal is missing first impressions and the development of those sprouting friendships. Which have been a huge part of my life!

So I'm making a poll, via screened comments (anonymous is on so that non-LJ-ers can answer, just tell me your name). No response defaults you to my discretion, which means that unless I would want privacy on it myself (and I can't think of much that fits that category), I'll say it publicly. (unless you've specifically asked me for privacy on something -- then of course I won't share it)

your privacy level:

1) don't talk about me at all.
2) email me a copy of what you want to post about me and let me decide how public it will be or if I want you to leave bits out.
3) friends-lock all you say about me.
4) don't talk about these specific things: _________________________ in relation to me.
5) friends-lock mentions of these specific things: _________________________ in relation to me.
6) use a pseudonym and say whatever you want, however you want.
7) just say whatever you want, however you want.
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belenen: (curious)
poll: your textual emoting style
[Poll #1490250]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: your textual emoting style
[Poll #1490250]
connecting:


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belenen: (confused)
poll: name
am back from California with lots to tell and photos to share, but first something to ask:

[Poll #1457295]

I know you all hate to try and define someone else, but I have some ideas in mind and I'm looking for a sign so if several of you choose one of the names in my head, that will be fantastically helpful. And if there are no repeats, that'll be a helpful hint too. If you think of several, pick one for the poll but please do list the others in a comment!
sounds: The Postal Service - Nothing Better | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (confused)
poll: name
am back from California with lots to tell and photos to share, but first something to ask:

[Poll #1457295]

I know you all hate to try and define someone else, but I have some ideas in mind and I'm looking for a sign so if several of you choose one of the names in my head, that will be fantastically helpful. And if there are no repeats, that'll be a helpful hint too. If you think of several, pick one for the poll but please do list the others in a comment!
sounds: The Postal Service - Nothing Better | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (confused)
should I get a fauxhawk?
I'm so torn -- need your input!

[Poll #1426221]
for reference: current hair, possible haircut, and old pics of me with quite short hair, badly cut, from when my awesome friend Kat came to visit in 2007 )
sounds: Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (confused)
should I get a fauxhawk?
I'm so torn -- need your input!

[Poll #1426221]
for reference: current hair, possible haircut, and old pics of me with quite short hair, badly cut, from when my awesome friend Kat came to visit in 2007 )
sounds: Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (curious)
poll: photo credits
[Poll #1389619]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: photo credits
[Poll #1389619]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: April post-every-day project
[Poll #1389017]


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belenen: (curious)
poll: April post-every-day project
[Poll #1389017]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: April post-every-day project
[Poll #1389017]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: what sort of person are you?
[Poll #1385436]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: what sort of person are you?
[Poll #1385436]
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belenen: (curious)
poll: footwear
[Poll #1375676]

when I say, "when you go out of the house" I'm referring to going to public places, from the grocery store to a night on the town -- not when you go outside. ;-)
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belenen: (curious)
poll: footwear
[Poll #1375676]

when I say, "when you go out of the house" I'm referring to going to public places, from the grocery store to a night on the town -- not when you go outside. ;-)
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