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belenen

June 2017

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Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.

belenen: (garrulous)
LJI fav reads list, week 8
icon: "garrulous (a photo of my lips with the skin greyed out and the lips overlaid with a green and blue fractal pattern)"

list of recs! )


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belenen: (garrulous)
LJI fav reads list, week 7
icon: "garrulous(a photo of my lips with the skin greyed out and the lips overlaid with a green and blue fractal pattern)"

list of recs! )


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belenen: (bluestocking)

icon: "bluestocking (photo of a book lying open on a table with a bright window in the background, overlaid with a yellow fractal that looks like the sun shining through dust motes)"




Stars are for re-watches

SHOWS:
Switched at Birth (finished season 4)
New Girl season 4
Grey's Anatomy* (seasons 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, )
Lost Girl* (all seasons [with a few skips])
Last Tango in Halifax (seasons 1-3)
Better Off Ted*
Witches of East End*
Love (season 1)
Wentworth* (seasons 1-2 rewatch, plus 3)
IT Crowd* (all seasons)
Cristela (season 1)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (season 2)
The Messengers (part of season 1)
How to Get Away with Murder (season 2)
Grace and Frankie (season 2)
Bitten (seasons 1-3)
Zoo (season 1)
Lady Dynamite (season 1)
The Lizzie Borden Chronicles (complete)
Baby Daddy (seasons 4-5)
Good Witch (part of season 1)
Scandal (season 5)
Orange is the New Black (season 4)



FILMS (small screen):
Guidance
Jenny's Wedding
Revenge of the Bridesmaids
I Give It a Year
The Decoy Bride (wtf with all these wedding-themed movies)



FILMS (theatre):
Through the Looking Glass (Topaz treated me)



BOOKS:




ALBUMS:
Seinabo Sey -- "Pretend"



CONCERTS:




ARTICLES:






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belenen: (garrulous)
tweets & fb posts, November 2016
it is very long )


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belenen: (bluestocking)
LJI fav reads list, week 0
icon: "bluestocking (photo of a book lying open on a table with a bright window in the background, overlaid with a yellow fractal that looks like the sun shining through dust motes)"

LJI week 0, Intro:


newbie favorites:

http://alohaanna.livejournal.com/972.html
http://devilz-workshop.livejournal.com/949.html
http://marlawentmad.livejournal.com/773.html
http://n8tastrophe.livejournal.com/961.html
http://quiltingdragon.livejournal.com/257014.html
http://tabloidscully.livejournal.com/554797.html
http://tinylegacies.livejournal.com/1135617.html



veteran favorites:
http://banana-galaxy.livejournal.com/1021.html
http://goldmourn.livejournal.com/1873556.html
http://kbr-shorts.blogspot.co.uk/2016/11/therealljidol-season-10-topic-0_7.html
http://suesniffsglue.livejournal.com/478821.html
http://j0ydivided.livejournal.com/1172.html ***
http://theun4givables.livejournal.com/259095.html
http://dreamchaser.livejournal.com/366088.html
http://lilmissmagic71.livejournal.com/89773.html
http://eternal-ot.livejournal.com/13207.html
http://bewize.livejournal.com/926230.html
http://xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com/1395135.html
http://fodschwazzle.livejournal.com/17113.html
http://penpusher.livejournal.com/761488.html
http://tamaraland.livejournal.com/936742.html
http://furzicle.livejournal.com/435713.html
http://deza.livejournal.com/1414341.html
http://adpaz.livejournal.com/1160706.html *
http://favoritebean.livejournal.com/46046.html
http://bunnika.livejournal.com/331546.html
http://az-starshine.livejournal.com/1035466.html
http://shanns-ljidol.livejournal.com/21953.html
http://rswndrlst.livejournal.com/10074.html
http://saintegloire.livejournal.com/1181.html
http://lapis-lazuli615.livejournal.com/214079.html *
http://impoetry.livejournal.com/233029.html
http://alycewilson.livejournal.com/669840.html
http://kfp-rawr.livejournal.com/6394.html
http://murielle.livejournal.com/294203.html *
http://tonithegreat.livejournal.com/259269.html *


Some awesome writing already! this is going to be a fantastic season.


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belenen: (self-love)
to connect, I must be vulnerable: to be vulnerable, I must allow my imperfections to be witnessed
icon: "self-love (me sitting against the trunk of a Magnolia, leaning my head back, head turned to the side with my violet hair falling across my face, arms wrapped around my belly in a soft hug.)"

I'm crying right now because I just read a TED talk that felt like a portrait of my soul. (thank you thank you [livejournal.com profile] deatacita for sharing it) Particularly this:

"...these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.

The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary." (emphasis mine)

If there is ever an aspect of me that you want to emulate, I hope it is my willingness to be imperfect and witnessed in that imperfection, even in my worst aspects. If I ever seem to be hiding my imperfections, I beg you call me on it. I must not lose my willingness to be witnessed as a complete mess, or I will lose my soul.


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belenen: (rainbowarrior)
22 months writing image descriptions: 4 awesome side-effects / resources & explanation of the need
icon: "rainbowarrior (me, face at a sharp angle, staring boldly with a streak of rainbow light falling on the side of my face, through my eye to light up the pupil so that it looks like its glowing)"

After 22 months of using image descriptions, I've noticed some great side-effects:
  1. I notice things more. When I write an image description, I have to really look at the image multiple times, and most of the time I realize aspects that before I would never have brought to my consciousness. In this way I get to look at it for the first time twice. It's a great mind-sensation. This used to happen for me when I edited photos I took, but now I can have it for any image whether I created it or not.

  2. I've grown far better skill at describing things. I have to figure out what is important for meaning and feeling, and put that into words. I have come to be much more aware of lighting, textures, and mood.

  3. I am more intentional in what I share of both my own and others' images. There is a bit more work to sharing things, so I don't just click 'share' on any image I come across that I like. Instead, my feed ends up being weighted toward original content. I value creation deeply and am grateful that that little bit of extra work keeps me from ever getting in the habit of merely re-sharing others' content.

  4. It has made me more expressive. Rather than popping in an emoticon, I have resurrected the art of emoting: I will type *smiles* or *excited bouncing* and this is oddly far more vulnerable and makes me feel far more connected.

Even if I didn't have great side-effects AND I had no friends who were blind or low-vision, this would still be very important for two reasons. 1) I make public posts, and many people who I am not friends with can observe my shares. 2) To make the web accessible, EVERYONE has to do this. More than 1 out of every 50 people in the US has a visual disability (and that number quadruples when you don't count children under age 16) which makes it likely that some of your friends or at least some of your friends-of-friends have a visual disability. I use image descriptions partly to influence sighted people to start writing them also and stop excluding blind & low-vision people by default.

Len Burns, a blind facebook user, writes:
"As one who strives to fully participate in community, I value what you communicate. Each time I am excluded from your conversations because a photo is undescribed, stings. When the "sting" is multiplied hundreds of times per day, I feel excluded and unvalued. Plain and simply, it hurts like hell... If inclusion matters to you, really matters, describe the next photo you post, the one after that, and before you know, it will become a habit. Choosing not to describe a photo or consider the accessibility of other media you plan to use does not differ from ignoring physical barriers that exclude people from community. Exclusion is exclusion. If inclusion is a core value, please think before you post. Thank you."

This past March the official twitter app gave users the ability to add image descriptions, but you have to enable this in the accessibility settings. This allows users to give descriptions that are just for screenreaders (which otherwise would take up the whole tweet). This is a great first step, but people have to be proactive, and the fact that it is an option rather than a requirement reinforces the idea that access for blind/low-vision people isn't important.

A few weeks after twitter released this, facebook released AAT (Automatic Alternative Text), which is nearly useless, as Tasha Raella explains:
"I am a blind Facebook user, and examples of image descriptions I have received so far include 'Image may contain indoor,' 'image may contain one person smiling,' and 'image may contain hat.' ... Rather than questioning the assumption that providing image descriptions is a burden and that blind people’s access needs are blind people’s problem, Facebook is reinforcing the ableist status quo...

As it is currently implemented, Facebook’s automated image description tool promotes independence, rather than interdependence. It sends the message, loud and clear, 'Don’t bother writing a description of your new baby. Our AI has it covered.' In ten or twenty years, that might be the case, but not now. With existing technology, the only way to ensure full and meaningful access to images is to encourage sighted users to describe their photos."
I heartily encourage you to begin writing image descriptions, at least in any shared space such as facebook groups or LJ communities. They don't have to be fancy; something like "[image: photo of dog with a bone]" or "[image: cartoon of two kids holding hands]" is just fine. I use more in-depth description when I'm describing art such as my icons. I could also describe my icon for this post as "photo: my face" and while a blind person would not get the feel of the image from that, they would get the information that I am using an image of myself to introduce this post, and that might give a variety of impressions, depending on how they interpret that act. Such a bare-bones description at least gives the most basic info.

Some resources on writing image descriptions:


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belenen: (bluestocking)
list: sci-fi, fantasy, magical realism, & speculative fiction by & about WOC &/or trans/queer people
icon: "bluestocking (photo of a book lying open on a table with a bright window in the background, overlaid with a yellow fractal that looks like the sun shining through dust motes)"

A list of authors and the first book by them that I want to read:

under a cut to hide the ugly formatting )


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belenen: (snarling)
CN: shooting / quotes & links about the Orlando massacre of queer & trans, black & latinx people
icon: "snarling (a photo of a snow leopard snarling in profile with teeth bared, whiskers back, and ears flattened)"

I don't have anything unique to say about the massacre of queer and trans latinx people in Orlando this weekend. This was an act of American male terrorism (aka toxic masculinity), like the vast majority of mass murders.

"...when we live in a culture where young boys learn that “boys will be boys” and the violence they do unto others is a natural part of their gender expression of gender — nay, that being a man means dominating others — then it won’t matter how well guns are controlled or how much mental healthcare we have." - Toxic masculinity and Orlando by Lola Phoenix

"...toxic masculinity is a specific model of manhood, geared towards dominance and control... Toxic masculinity aspires to toughness but is, in fact, an ideology of living in fear: The fear of ever seeming soft, tender, weak, or somehow less than manly. This insecurity is perhaps the most stalwart defining feature of toxic masculinity.... The horror story of Orlando lays bare what damage that this kind of dominance-oriented masculinity does to our society..." - Overcompensation Nation: It’s time to admit that toxic masculinity drives gun violence by Amanda Marcotte

"...Sunday’s shooting was an attack against a primarily young crowd of Latinx and Black individuals celebrating their existence in a world that has continually tried to silence them... Do not erase transgender womyn of color.... 'We need to center our analysis, our conversation, and our advocacy on the fact that this is also a crime against womyn, against Latinxs, against Blacks, and not just a crime against gays.'" - It’s not safe to be a queer person of color in America by Alan Pelaez Lopez

"If healing is what we want, then we must give the marginalized voices targeted by this tragedy the space to articulate their suffering. This is what will emancipate them of their pain. This is what will empower others in communities who are suffering. If you are an ally, of course, your suffering matters too, and you are welcome to express your emotions. But, today, let searing indictments and heartbreaking personal accounts come from queer people, and especially queer communities of color. It will make all the difference, I promise you. It will resonate in such a way that cannot be achieved by a person who hasn't lived an authoritatively queer, marginalized experience. These are the voices that will generate empathy, create cultural shifts, and reset the dial on progress. Please give them a chance to do so." - Dear White, Hetero, Cis People: Please Don't Co-Opt This Tragedy by Mariella Mosthof

"We are reminded that we are not that far from our violent history of rejection, policing, hostility. We are reminded that the first Pride was a riot, one led by queer and trans women of color, who were fighting back against the violence they faced at the hands of the police. And we will have to continue to remember that this violence will not be solved by increased violence against the Muslim community or calls for the war on terror. These terrors stem from so many of the ills our society continues to foster—homophobia, racism, transphobia, Islamophobia and an unwillingness to address gun violence." - When the One Place That Feels Like Home is Invaded by Miriam Zoila Pérez

"...some of the usual pro-gun arguments got pretty thoroughly debunked here. There were several "good guys with a gun" in that night club, and none of them were able to take down the gunman before he killed 50 people and wounded 53 others. Arming the entire population will not increase their safety. Mostly, we need to start teaching our boys and our men a different path. One of kindness, of compassion, one that doesn't equate being a man with suppressing all emotions except anger." - Pulse by [livejournal.com profile] mousme

What I wrote on fb: Timely reminder to cis and straight friends: queer and trans people are not safe. Gay marriage being legalized didn't fix shit. Until we have a culture where gay or 'girly' or non-passing/non-binary transgender is just as respected and admired as straight or 'manly' or binary-gender, queer and trans people are in constant danger.

Every time there's a mass death event & everyone cares for a minute, all I can think is "where was your compassion for the living?"


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belenen: (Ma'at)
A comic that made me realize something profound: say thank you, not sorry
icon: "Ma'at (a photo of one side of a brass balance scale, with a feather inside the bowl. The background is sky blue. On the bottom of the image, below the photo, is the word "Ma'at")"

image and description under cut because the image is VERY LARGE )


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belenen: (honesty)
dear friend: please reconsider your use of that slur
icon: "honesty (me, outdoors, gazing straight at the camera with a solemn expression)"

If I gave you this link, please understand that it was motivated by affection and/or respect. I have this conversation over and over, and it takes a lot out of me, so I needed to create a less energy-intense way to communicate about it. If I didn't respect you and/or feel affection for you, I would not risk giving you this link. If I have already talked with you about it*, this is my low-energy way of reminding you (with bonus of allowing bystanders to also learn).

I give this link in response to people using slurs. You probably didn't realize that what you were saying was a slur, or maybe you didn't realize the harm. The most common mistakes I come across are use of the words stupid, lame, crazy, or insane. Usually I put asterisks in these to make it clear that I consider them slurs, but sometimes people can't tell what word I am referring to, so I'm writing them out here for clarity.


TW slurs--------

a full list of the slurs which I may be referring to:
stupid, idiot, dumb (if you mean the physical quality, the term is 'mute' or 'nonverbal'), derp, ermahgerd, duh, crazy, insane, psychotic, wacko, mental, psycho, cray-cray, bitch, douche, pussy, cunt, lame, ghetto, blind or deaf (when used to mean "not paying attention"), gay, retard/ed, nigger, jew or gyp (as in to swindle/cheat), tranny, shemale, cripple, slut, whore, fag/got

------------end TW


Here I explain what is harmful about using these words.

Here I explain why it is still a problem to use slurs even when you are not aiming them at a person.

Here I explain how you are not missing out by avoiding these words: you are becoming a better communicator.

If you read all of this and you still want to feel free to use slurs, please let me know. That is a dealbreaker for me with friendship. I can totally understand it being difficult and I won't hold it against you at all if you make mistakes, but if you have no intention of removing slurs from your communication, you are not a safe person for me and I do not want to invest in you.

*I find it almost impossible to remind people in more direct ways because I empathize so hard with trying and making mistakes and how embarrassing that is. If I give you this link and you have already decided to try not to use slurs, please feel no need to apologize or engage about it, just take it as a reminder. I promise I don't need an apology; I understand that it is a process.


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belenen: (bodylove -- heart my belly)
an open letter to anyone who uses the words 'attractive' or 'ugly' like they have objective meaning
icon: "bodylove -- heart my belly (my bare, stretch-marked belly with my hands making a heart shape in front of it. There is an overlay of blue and violet radiating out from my navel)"

(This is modified from something I wrote to someone who says negative things about their looks -- but it applies even if you only do the 'positive' side of calling some people attractive.)

When you say you are ugly, I hear that you believe in a such thing as ugliness, and I know that I am not safe to be beautiful in your eyes. I know that if you call me beautiful, you might be using that as a way to harm your own self with comparison. How can I appreciate admiration if I know it might not be about me at all, but just the underside of you condemning yourself? I can't bear to be looked at through a lens of relative ugliness. If you hate your belly for not being flat, my poky belly is not safe in your gaze. If you take issue with the shape of your jawline, my 'double chin' is not safe in your gaze. You might not see it as ugly, but since you believe in ugly I can never be sure.

It is not fucking true that you are 'ugly'! If you are not willing to accept that it is a lie shoved into your head by cruel evil people, you can't get rid of the idea. It's a lie it's a lie it's a lie it's a LIE. Reject it. Even if you can't help that it repeats in your head, please decide it is a lie repeating instead of truth repeating. Please. You holding this lie close to your chest keeps people from being able to communicate with you about how they feel about you. It's like a giant shield that blocks out affection and admiration. You probably can't just throw it out. It probably feels like a kind of protection. But you can turn it sideways (decide it's a lie) so that people can get past it. You can accept that the people who love you are more honest than the people who want to abuse and control you. You can decide that all ratings are LIES. EVIL, CRUEL lies.

There is NO SUCH THING as ugly. There is no such thing as a body 'flaw.' YOU ARE PERFECT. Variety is beauty. You could not be more beautiful if you were different. People who think that there is a such thing as more attractive and less attractive have fucked up wrong perceptions that they need to change. No one gets to fucking rank people's attractiveness! NO ONE EVER. Not even you.

Also, that celebrity or model or whoever is NOT more attractive than you. This is as wrong to say as it is to say that they're uglier than you. It's creepy to compare like that. Nobody is more beautiful than you. There is no such thing as objective beauty. "You are beautiful" always and ONLY means "looking at you is enjoyable for me." Rotten people might get more enjoyment out of looking at people who resemble the societal ideal of the moment, but doesn't make it objective. Rotten people's opinions are irrelevant to actual life and love.

Do you compare you and me? do I gain attractiveness if I lose weight? If my belly is smaller? if my neck is thinner? if I wear makeup? If you judge everyone as more attractive than you or not, I have a really hard time believing that you don't judge me. I have a really hard time believing that you can do this comparison thing so often and yet have it not apply to me. Even if you did though, I would still be really bothered by the comparison for others. And because you believe in 'ugly' every time you use an attraction word (pretty beautiful cute gorgeous) as if it is objective, it feels AWFUL to me. I feel hurt for myself, for you, and for whoever you are judging as 'more attractive.' If attractiveness can be ranked, then I can only be beautiful at the expense of others. That is never something I want.

Related:
As with telling me you love me, only tell me I’m beautiful if you mean it. And challenge yourself to mean it. Recognize the way it stretches you to call a fat person beautiful, not as an exception, but as a shifting, growing rule. Feel all the things you are rejecting by saying such a simple, common word. - "What happens when you call your fat friend beautiful" by thefatshadow on Medium


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belenen: (overwhelmed)
herpes outbreak #2, five years later...
icon: "overwhelmed (the character Keenan from "Playing By Heart," with hands over their face covering their eyes and head tilted back)"

Last Sunday I started to feel a bit off, and by Monday night I was sure -- I was having my second-ever genital herpes outbreak. I went to the clinic on Tuesday and got meds, and honestly while it was somewhat uncomfortable it wasn't terrible and as long as I was sitting/lying still, I didn't feel it at all. But the emotional impact was intense, because I had been unsure which type of herpes I had. See, I contracted it from someone with a cold sore going down on me, meaning it was type 1 which prefers to live in the mouth: so it could be that I would never have a genital outbreak but might have oral outbreaks. For 5 years I had no outbreaks, and I kinda got my hopes up. I communicated clearly with lovers about it and took precautions as if it were genital herpes, but I think I kinda expected it to not be. Turns out I'm not THAT lucky, though 5 years between the first two outbreaks is pretty good.

I started feeling really shitty about myself and my lack of desirability. I was texting with Allison and told them what was happening and that the actual physical part was no big deal, but the stigma was making me feel pretty intensely sad. Like I said to Allison, this outbreak is no worse than a bad acne outbreak (when you first get a bump it feels like one of those achy pimples). Most people who have herpes -- 80% -- don't even know because they don't have symptoms. People who do get outbreaks usually only get a few in their lifetime, and they decrease in frequency and intensity. It doesn't damage your system. Unless you or someone you have sex with is immuno-compromised, there is no logical reason to fear herpes, except of course for the stigma.

Interestingly, the next day my timehop showed me an article I had linked a few years before -- "The Perks of Herpes." I realized I have to come out all over again because most of the people who know me didn't know me then. I've always been out about it because unlike the author of that article, I want people to know WAY before genital contact happens. I don't think it is good consent to wait until sex is about to happen, because then there is pressure to decide on the spot and most people are not well-educated enough to do that. Most people would need to do some research in order to have a decision they are confident in. And I also just don't want to deal with the heartbreak of falling for someone and then having them be like "if your genitals might be untouchable sometimes that's gross and I don't want to be romantic with you." I guess if I fell for someone asexual I might not tell them because it really wouldn't matter.

I'm still feeling really shitty about it. I don't want people to love me in spite of a fact of my body. I don't want all potential lovers to be considering a thing that I feel is largely irrelevant. I don't have a choice though, because only informed consent is consent.

So, yeah. This came on the heels of a realization that I am older than most of the people I know and age is a factor in most people's attraction. And of course I have a significant amount of fat and that is also a factor. So I really feel intensely undesirable. I know these things will eventually blend into the background of my life again and not make me feel like a repulsive monster, but right now it's pretty terrible.
connecting: , , ,


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belenen: (ADD-PI)
how I cope with my ADD-PI (other than meds): supplements, caffeine, music, water, book, food, sleep
icon: "ADD-PI (two electromicroscope photos of crystallized acetylcholine, overlaid & warped in several ways)"

a brief history of my ADD and of supplements I have tried )

Two supplements did have significant effect, and I now take them daily: Choline (which I take at 900mg per day) and Vinpocitine (which I take at 30mg per day) The brand and dose matters! some brands are ineffective or unclear about how much is in each pill. Of all the Choline available on amazon right now I'd only recommend KRK Supplements (unless you can afford to spend significantly more, because there are better ones but not better ones for under $15). For Vinpocitine I'd recommend Puritan's Pride or Swanson's. Both of these help so much with memory that if I run out, I can tell because my memory and focus gets noticeably worse within 3 days. Choline is helpful because it is one of the building blocks of the memory molecule acetylcholine -- and it is particularly helpful for vegetarians or anyone who avoids fatty meats or eggs, because that is the highest natural source (you'd have to eat 5 eggs per day to get the amount in my supplements, unless you ate them raw...). I had been vegetarian for at least 3 years when I learned this, so I think I had a significant deficiency. Vinpocitine increases blood flow to the brain.

I also take caffeine. When I did not have medication, I took caffeine pills (one in the morning and one halfway through the day) -- they're cheap, they really help and since it's just a pill, there isn't the block of having to go find coffee/soda/energy drinks AND they don't carry the sugar crash that a lot of drinks do. I either have a caffeine pill or a coffee every day.

And also, pretty much every single one of my coping skills is discussed in this book: Your Life Can Be Better -- which is written by a person who has ADD, so it is easy to read and absorb for ADD people (at least I think so). Most chapters are about 5 pages long. It is miraculously useful.

When trying to focus, listening to wordless, complex but steady music is very helpful. Also, taking breaks can be damn impossible, so drinking loads of water is actually helpful because eventually I HAVE to pee.

Eating regularly is very important. I'm sure there are additional factors, but one reason is that stress makes ADD worse, and not eating regularly means that your body releases cortisol, the stress hormone. This does all kinds of negative things to your body. I am really bad about remembering to eat (which is a huge problem for ADD people since ADD fucks up your memory/focus and ADD meds reduce your appetite) so I try to carry some crackers or a food bar or some nuts, and eat according to a schedule rather than waiting for body signals which always come VERY late. I eat a fairly natural diet, but I know that MSG and artificial food dyes can cause ADD to be worse, so I'd recommend avoiding them.

Last but not least, getting enough sleep is vital. I had to train myself into regular sleep using melatonin (which should never be used in doses higher than 0.3mg (300 MICROkilograms) or for more than 3 months at a stretch! I learned this the hard way.), but now I can go to sleep easily 99% of the time and sleep for 7 hours and wake up rested. I am convinced that sleep is even more important for people with ADD than it is for neurotypical people. It's like a sleep-deprived neurotypical person has about as much focus as an ADD person does on a decent amount of sleep, so yeah, very important!


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belenen: (satisfaction)
PSA: friending meme particularly for returnee & long-term LJers
icon: "satisfaction (a graphic of a notebook with a photo taped to it: inside the photo is a gif of the character Beth from the show Moonlight, grinning and scrunching their nose and nodding. on the bottom of the photo is written "yessss!")"

Like Vines Toward The Sun -- a friending meme for returnee & long-term LJers!
This is fantastic! I have found a number of new awesome people (welcome!) and I know that some of you here ([livejournal.com profile] reed_wolf I remember, I think [livejournal.com profile] sidheblessed and at least two other people) were wanting a more active friends list -- I think this meme will help you find some!

sharing my response to the questions because I really liked some of them )


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belenen: (confused)
head covering in solidarity - appropriative or helpful? / my experience covering at a Zikr
icon: "confused (photo of a purple diamond-shaped sign with a line leading to four arrows all curving and pointing in different directions)"

There has been a lot of buzz about women who are not Muslim wearing the hijab in solidarity. I have tried to figure out whether that is more helpful or more disrespectful, but everything I have read has just confused me. I asked in an anti-oppression religious group on facebook and they were useless, just gave me knee-jerk reactions while ignoring the fact that some Muslims have requested this action. One declared that I have no Muslim friends and should work on that instead. I didn't ask my Muslim friends because I hate being the go-to for people with questions about being [different from them in some category] and I imagine being a religious minority is similar in that my Muslim friends probably get enough questions about it. I thought I shouldn't put it on them and I figured a religious discussion group where people were opting in to discussing these things was a better choice, but maybe not. Anyway, here's what I found on the topic:


http://worldhijabday.com/about-us/
http://www.tolerance.org/magazine/number-50-summer-2015/feature/dressing-solidarity
https://www.facebook.com/pages/WISH-Women-In-Solidarity-with-Hijabis/778080655582205
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/muslimahnextdoor/2015/12/please-do-if-you-want-wear-the-headscarf-in-the-name-of-interfaith-solidarity/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/12/21/as-muslim-women-we-actually-ask-you-not-to-wear-the-hijab-in-the-name-of-interfaith-solidarity/
http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2015/03/25/wearing-hijab-lent-way-demonstrate-solidarity/
https://msmuslamic.wordpress.com/2013/07/21/heres-whats-wrong-with-hijab-tourism-and-your-cutesy-modesty-experiments/


My conclusion is that if I don't know the answer and it might cause harm, don't do it, so I won't.

Thinking about this reminded me of when I first went to a Sufi Zikr. I did a lot of research beforehand and knew to bring a scarf with which to cover my head during the chanting (because to not cover would be disrespectful). I had never done that before when praying or meditating or anything, and it was a profound experience for me. I expected to get overheated (as that happens to me very easily) but I didn't expect any other sensation. What I experienced was a kind of shift of my energy flow and a focusing of it. I hadn't even realized how spread out my energy field was until I put on the headscarf and felt it shift. Instead of flowing out of the top of my head and diffusing, it flowed down the scarf and back through me. I found it easier to focus and really be in the words, despite being overheated and somewhat physically uncomfortable. This doesn't happen for me when I have a scarf just around my head and draped down my back to cover my (untidy) hair, but it happens when the headscarf is forming a kind of shield around my head and shoulders. I don't know that anyone else experiences this, but my sensations make it easy for me to imagine a headscarf or other head covering being a sense of protection and a physical/energetic reminder to be connected to your spirituality. It explains to me the connections of headcovering in many religions.


back to top

belenen: (gender abolitionist)
privilege & oppression: books, privilege checklists, communities, news, movies, comics, music, blogs
gateway books:
on gender identity and expression:
"Nobody Passes" by Mattilda and
"Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation" by Kate Bornstein & S. Bear Bergman
on disability:
"Staring Back" edited by Kenny Fries and
"Crip Theory: Cultural Signs of Queerness and Disability" by Robert McRuer & Michael F. Bérubé
on feminism:
"Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics" by bell hooks and
"A Guy's Guide to Feminism" by Michael Kaufman & Michael Kimmel
on racism:
"Racism Without Racists" by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva and
"Myths America Lives By" by Richard T. Hughes

Learn a little about your privileges:
a quick summary of what privilege is
privilege is playing the game of life on "easy"
a more in-depth explanation of privilege
if you're white
if you're male
if you're cisgender/cissexual (not transgender or not transsexual)
if your gender is part of the binary (either exclusively male or exclusively female)
if you're straight
if you're non-disabled (related microaggressions)
if you're neurotypical (not autistic and don't have Asperger's) and don't have a mental illness.
if you're not poor
if you're monogamous
if you're not "fat" -- if you think having more fat than average is bad, risky, unhealthy, etc, please read The Fat FAQs including all the links!

How to be an ally if you are a person with privilege
Bearing witness (overcoming some of the pitfalls of being an ally with privilege)
How to be a better ally to trans* people

intro info about marginalized groups who don't get a lot of press:
nativeappropriations on the problem with the hipster headress: cultural appropriation for "irony"
intersexroadshow on how sex isn't binary either: intersex genitalia illustrated and explained (with sketches)

community:
genderfork -- a supportive community for the expression of identities across the gender spectrum.
tqnation -- social network specifically for transgender and genderqueer community.
tsroadmap -- transitioning information and support

news and analysis:
FWD: feminists with disabilities -- on the intersection of disability and feminism (now archive-only, but FULL of resources)
stuff queer people need to know -- news, lengthy resource lists
racialicious -- on the intersection of race and pop culture
colorlines -- a daily news site about important racial matters
The Transadvocate --"transgender advocates in the ever growing blogosphere"
prettyqueer -- writings by queer people from all over
geekfeminism -- "exists to support, encourage, and discuss issues facing women in geek communities, including science and technology, gaming, SF fandom, and more."
Cisnormativity -- "confronting cisnormativity, homonormativity, heteronormativity, cissexism, trans enmity, trans misogyny, acts of cis supremacy, and the language of gender"
More Than Men -- "a social media project for men to stand up together to take an active role in diversity advocacy"

Ways to participate in making change for non-normative and/or oppressed peoples:
Locally:
CHRIS kids -- helping LGBTQ kids in Georgia
lost-n-found -- nonprofit working to take homeless LGBT youth off Atlanta's streets
SPARK -- reproductive justice (based in Atlanta)
Positive Impact -- Atlanta clinic working to help HIV positive people
Georgia Equality -- working for legislative equality for LGBTQ Georgians
Prevent Child Abuse Georgia
and non-locally:
the disabled young people's collective
generation five -- stopping child abuse in 5 generations
Legal Momentum
National Center for Transgender Equality
Soulforce -- stopping spiritual violence
Full Radius Dance -- a wheelchair-inclusive dance team
Oyate -- a Native American/American Indian advocacy and education organization
Justice Now -- helping women in prison, and fighting against the industrial prison complex

book/movie lists:
Bibrary Book Lust: LGBT Speculative Fiction Award Winners
Lambda Scifi recommended reading list
big queer movie list (with some reviews)

comics:
Khaos Komix: "a comic about gender and sexuality. It follows the lives of 8 main characters... finding themselves, falling in love, lust and like and how hard they fight to get there." Queer and trans characters!
YU+ME: dream: "a surreal love story. It is part high school romance, part journey/adventure story, and part total-mind-fuck."
Unicorn Jelly: a beautiful, imaginative metaphorical tale with lots of queer characters.

musicians who are out and sing about it:
Rae Spoon (out as trans, writes some about gender)
Sam Sparro (out as gay, writes some about social justice)
Ke / onetribe (out as gay, uses deliberately androgynous vocals and lyrics)
Missy Higgins (out as bi, writes some songs that show it)

blogs of queer and trans importance:
A Radical TransFeminist -- "queer issues, radical feminist issues, trans* issues and their many interplays."
Transmeditations -- on "transgender and queer identities, politics and liberation; film, media and television critical analyses; sex work and sex workers rights; fat politics and fat liberation movement; feminism, transfeminism and feminist theory and activism"
Tranifesto -- "offering information and opinion about transgender and transsexual issues and experience from someone who’s been there"
supermattachine -- "I have plans: overthrow oppressive forces, destroy rape culture, smash cissexism, demolish transphobia, rip apart ableism, fuck up whiteness and racism, stomp on sizeism, knit lace curtains."
Taking Up Too Much Space -- "a blog by a Chicago transsexual queer/woman who’s tired of making herself as small as possible to fit the demands of trans misogynistic feminism and trans activism"
Questioning Transphobia -- examining and critiquing transphobic events/attitudes
transactivisty -- blog by a Latina queer trans woman, from a personal perspective.
Sincerely, Natalie Reed -- "discussing transgenderism, trans-related issues, gender and sexuality, as well as other interests of mine like addiction (for example), from a specifically feminist and secular, skeptical angle."
TransGriot -- "news, opinions, commentary, history and a little creative writing from a proud African-American transwoman about the world around her"
leftytgirl -- personal blog of an American trans woman living in Canada, who cares about "science, truth, beauty, justice, laughter and love."


back to top

belenen: (gender abolitionist)
genderqueer community / pride alliance / called to be "out" as genderfree / genderqueer lodestars
I keep daydreaming about last summer, of how I had a sense of queer community for the first time, and actually knew other genderqueer people, and could talk about gender with people (in agreement rather than in argument or explanation -- I value those too but they're not satisfying if that's all I get). I wish I had words to explain it. I need to make it a priority to attend some of the queer events happening in Atlanta, because at this point the lack of consonance is costing me more than the time, effort, and gas to go there.

I did go to my first "pride alliance" meeting at school today, ........ )

I know I'm sorta a broken record on the subject but it's occupying my free mind space lately. Pretty intensely. I was talking to Kyle about it lately -- about how some people have higher priorities than being "out" as queer or genderqueer but I don't, because for me it is like a calling. And that was a new realization for me -- this isn't just one step which, once learned, I will lose passion for. I've already learned it to the level I learned self-love, and it's just become a stronger and stronger force in my life. I'm meant to be a genderqueer catalyst -- it's part of what I need to do with my life.

encouragingly! Kate Bornstein has a new book out! and Christie Elan-Cane is making some headway for genderfree and genderqueer people in the UK. (if you live in the UK and you support those who do not wish to be identified as "m" or "f," please read this) and one family has allowed their transsexual child to choose to delay puberty to allow for easier sex change (please ignore the "this is a MEDICAL CONDITION and it's RARE don't worry you can't catch it" tone) and zir father changed in reaction to this, instead of trying to "fix" zir child. "I learned real change means acceptance—not tolerance—and an acceptance that includes equal rights and freedoms for my daughter as I’d want for her friends. With time my wife would also begin to forgive me for the time when I denied the truth to try to protect my fragile dream. As I changed, I learned a lot from others too. People who were not on board with the needs of our transgender child taught me that changing people’s perception of “normal” was essential, not just for my daughter’s safety, but for the safety of all children that are perceived as different."
sounds: Neulander - Sometimes | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: (gender abolitionist)
genderqueer community / pride alliance / called to be "out" as genderfree / genderqueer lodestars
I keep daydreaming about last summer, of how I had a sense of queer community for the first time, and actually knew other genderqueer people, and could talk about gender with people (in agreement rather than in argument or explanation -- I value those too but they're not satisfying if that's all I get). I wish I had words to explain it. I need to make it a priority to attend some of the queer events happening in Atlanta, because at this point the lack of consonance is costing me more than the time, effort, and gas to go there.

I did go to my first "pride alliance" meeting at school today, ........ )

I know I'm sorta a broken record on the subject but it's occupying my free mind space lately. Pretty intensely. I was talking to Kyle about it lately -- about how some people have higher priorities than being "out" as queer or genderqueer but I don't, because for me it is like a calling. And that was a new realization for me -- this isn't just one step which, once learned, I will lose passion for. I've already learned it to the level I learned self-love, and it's just become a stronger and stronger force in my life. I'm meant to be a genderqueer catalyst -- it's part of what I need to do with my life.

encouragingly! Kate Bornstein has a new book out! and Christie Elan-Cane is making some headway for genderfree and genderqueer people in the UK. (if you live in the UK and you support those who do not wish to be identified as "m" or "f," please read this) and one family has allowed their transsexual child to choose to delay puberty to allow for easier sex change (please ignore the "this is a MEDICAL CONDITION and it's RARE don't worry you can't catch it" tone) and zir father changed in reaction to this, instead of trying to "fix" zir child. "I learned real change means acceptance—not tolerance—and an acceptance that includes equal rights and freedoms for my daughter as I’d want for her friends. With time my wife would also begin to forgive me for the time when I denied the truth to try to protect my fragile dream. As I changed, I learned a lot from others too. People who were not on board with the needs of our transgender child taught me that changing people’s perception of “normal” was essential, not just for my daughter’s safety, but for the safety of all children that are perceived as different."
sounds: Neulander - Sometimes | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , , ,


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belenen: (exuviate)
Nicole Daedone quote
...there was a moment when something happened that I didn't fully process or digest, that moment is stuck in my mind and it is a lens in between us. And every time I see you, I see you through that lens. Say you stepped on my foot. Then whenever I see you, no matter what you're saying, in the back of my mind I'm having this alternate conversation -- "he stepped on my foot, he stepped on my foot, he stepped on my foot" -- and so I'm carrying this charge around. ...the idea is that you say in a value-neutral way, recognizing that that charge is mine, "whenever I see you, I think 'he stepped on my foot'." ... if I say it exactly as I experience it, the force or counterforce of communicating it actually releases it. And when I release it, I come back into direct contact with you, back into direct communication. -- Nicole Daedone, Taste of Sex, Episode 2.

I love the way ze put this -- it's exactly how I experience that process. If there's no underlying issue and it's just something that made me uncomfortable for whatever reason, expressing it clearly and completely makes it dissolve entirely. I am LOVING this podcast.
sounds: Judy Silber - TSRA 002: Orgasmic meditation and other practices at One Taste Urban Retreat Center |
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: (exuviate)
Nicole Daedone quote
...there was a moment when something happened that I didn't fully process or digest, that moment is stuck in my mind and it is a lens in between us. And every time I see you, I see you through that lens. Say you stepped on my foot. Then whenever I see you, no matter what you're saying, in the back of my mind I'm having this alternate conversation -- "he stepped on my foot, he stepped on my foot, he stepped on my foot" -- and so I'm carrying this charge around. ...the idea is that you say in a value-neutral way, recognizing that that charge is mine, "whenever I see you, I think 'he stepped on my foot'." ... if I say it exactly as I experience it, the force or counterforce of communicating it actually releases it. And when I release it, I come back into direct contact with you, back into direct communication. -- Nicole Daedone, Taste of Sex, Episode 2.

I love the way ze put this -- it's exactly how I experience that process. If there's no underlying issue and it's just something that made me uncomfortable for whatever reason, expressing it clearly and completely makes it dissolve entirely. I am LOVING this podcast.
sounds: Judy Silber - TSRA 002: Orgasmic meditation and other practices at One Taste Urban Retreat Center |
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: photo of me with violet hair looking down, with a water-reflection overlay (ethereal)
these feelings won't go away...
Not sure if you'll be able to see this, but this video absolutely breaks my heart. Some of you may remember the Rachel I spoke of here and here... in case you can't see the video, it's of zir dancing. I just sent zir a message saying "...I saw the video of you dancing to Citizen Cope's "Sideways" and it has haunted me ever since. Something about the rawness of your dancing just spoke to me in a way I can't really articulate... It made me cry and filled me with this intense longing. The way you communicate with dance is profoundly beautiful... heart-wrenching. I just had to tell you because I couldn't get it off my mind."

Have you ever met someone and just felt, at the deepest level, that you could understand them through and through? I don't even necessarily think that ze would understand me, but I feel like I would understand zir. It's completely different than any other connection I've felt... I don't even know what to call it. I don't think ze and I are on the same path at all, but still... just like ten years ago, the things that ze says without speaking pierce me to the core. It took quite a lot for me to send that... I wasn't even going to try to contact zir but I just kept being drawn back to that video until I sent a message.
sounds: Citizen Cope -- "Sideways"
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: photo of me with violet hair looking down, with a water-reflection overlay (ethereal)
these feelings won't go away...
Not sure if you'll be able to see this, but this video absolutely breaks my heart. Some of you may remember the Rachel I spoke of here and here... in case you can't see the video, it's of zir dancing. I just sent zir a message saying "...I saw the video of you dancing to Citizen Cope's "Sideways" and it has haunted me ever since. Something about the rawness of your dancing just spoke to me in a way I can't really articulate... It made me cry and filled me with this intense longing. The way you communicate with dance is profoundly beautiful... heart-wrenching. I just had to tell you because I couldn't get it off my mind."

Have you ever met someone and just felt, at the deepest level, that you could understand them through and through? I don't even necessarily think that ze would understand me, but I feel like I would understand zir. It's completely different than any other connection I've felt... I don't even know what to call it. I don't think ze and I are on the same path at all, but still... just like ten years ago, the things that ze says without speaking pierce me to the core. It took quite a lot for me to send that... I wasn't even going to try to contact zir but I just kept being drawn back to that video until I sent a message.
sounds: Citizen Cope -- "Sideways"
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: (disassociative)
plastic waste / reduce, reuse, recycle, restore
I've always hated waste, partly because I was very poor when I was young and partly because I want everything to have a purpose and be valued. But I didn't think about it beyond a vague dissatisfaction until I saw an article with pictures of this:

a toxic soup of plastic in the ocean )


and it made me cry and it turned my stomach and it showed me that not only are we filling up the earth with shit in landfills, but we're also filling up our oceans. We're killing creatures with our laziness and selfishness. We're poisoning ourselves.

Since then I am constantly aware of plastic waste. WHY, WHY, WHY are so many objects intended for temporary use made with permanent materials? regular plastic takes HUNDREDS of YEARS to become useful again -- in the meantime, it is murdering our world. I do what I can to reduce, reuse, recycle, but it feels so pathetic in the face of so much complete indifference. There's a lot of apathy in the face of suffering but this gets to me so much because it is so TANGIBLE.

The local recycling business doesn't do glass (wtf??), so I save up our recyclables and take them to a place that recycles glass too. I feel so strongly about this that it makes me cringe to go to out and see people throw away a #1 or #2 plastic or glass, though I haven't quite worked up the guts to ask them for it so that I can take it home, wash it out, and save it for recycling. (and the germophobe in me finds that a little gross) However, I have been thinking about asking my neighbors if they'd like me to take their recyclables... I don't want to do it alone, is the only thing -- I'd be happy to collect and drive them to the place if I had someone to do it with. I don't like interacting with strangers alone in a private place.

When shopping, I use bags that are made from recycled plastic bottles (which makes me want to cry in mingled joy and despair! we could USE these things instead of ruining the world with them!). If I forget the bags, I get only what I can carry. I ask for paper cups rather than plastic or styrofoam, but I still feel dreadful about that -- I NEED a good reusable coffeemug! I got one and then discovered that it will not hold 20 ounces. ... Okay, just went searching and bought a 20 oz ceramic mug even though it is pricey because I NEED to be more responsible.

I really want to find some way to do more. Maybe get over my fears and become a free recycling person for my neighbors, ack!
sounds: Fauxliage - All Alone | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , , , ,


back to top

belenen: (disassociative)
plastic waste / reduce, reuse, recycle, restore
I've always hated waste, partly because I was very poor when I was young and partly because I want everything to have a purpose and be valued. But I didn't think about it beyond a vague dissatisfaction until I saw an article with pictures of this:

a toxic soup of plastic in the ocean )


and it made me cry and it turned my stomach and it showed me that not only are we filling up the earth with shit in landfills, but we're also filling up our oceans. We're killing creatures with our laziness and selfishness. We're poisoning ourselves.

Since then I am constantly aware of plastic waste. WHY, WHY, WHY are so many objects intended for temporary use made with permanent materials? regular plastic takes HUNDREDS of YEARS to become useful again -- in the meantime, it is murdering our world. I do what I can to reduce, reuse, recycle, but it feels so pathetic in the face of so much complete indifference. There's a lot of apathy in the face of suffering but this gets to me so much because it is so TANGIBLE.

The local recycling business doesn't do glass (wtf??), so I save up our recyclables and take them to a place that recycles glass too. I feel so strongly about this that it makes me cringe to go to out and see people throw away a #1 or #2 plastic or glass, though I haven't quite worked up the guts to ask them for it so that I can take it home, wash it out, and save it for recycling. (and the germophobe in me finds that a little gross) However, I have been thinking about asking my neighbors if they'd like me to take their recyclables... I don't want to do it alone, is the only thing -- I'd be happy to collect and drive them to the place if I had someone to do it with. I don't like interacting with strangers alone in a private place.

When shopping, I use bags that are made from recycled plastic bottles (which makes me want to cry in mingled joy and despair! we could USE these things instead of ruining the world with them!). If I forget the bags, I get only what I can carry. I ask for paper cups rather than plastic or styrofoam, but I still feel dreadful about that -- I NEED a good reusable coffeemug! I got one and then discovered that it will not hold 20 ounces. ... Okay, just went searching and bought a 20 oz ceramic mug even though it is pricey because I NEED to be more responsible.

I really want to find some way to do more. Maybe get over my fears and become a free recycling person for my neighbors, ack!
sounds: Fauxliage - All Alone | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , , , ,


back to top

belenen: (disassociative)
plastic waste / reduce, reuse, recycle, restore
I've always hated waste, partly because I was very poor when I was young and partly because I want everything to have a purpose and be valued. But I didn't think about it beyond a vague dissatisfaction until I saw an article with pictures of this:

a toxic soup of plastic in the ocean )


and it made me cry and it turned my stomach and it showed me that not only are we filling up the earth with shit in landfills, but we're also filling up our oceans. We're killing creatures with our laziness and selfishness. We're poisoning ourselves.

Since then I am constantly aware of plastic waste. WHY, WHY, WHY are so many objects intended for temporary use made with permanent materials? regular plastic takes HUNDREDS of YEARS to become useful again -- in the meantime, it is murdering our world. I do what I can to reduce, reuse, recycle, but it feels so pathetic in the face of so much complete indifference. There's a lot of apathy in the face of suffering but this gets to me so much because it is so TANGIBLE.

The local recycling business doesn't do glass (wtf??), so I save up our recyclables and take them to a place that recycles glass too. I feel so strongly about this that it makes me cringe to go to out and see people throw away a #1 or #2 plastic or glass, though I haven't quite worked up the guts to ask them for it so that I can take it home, wash it out, and save it for recycling. (and the germophobe in me finds that a little gross) However, I have been thinking about asking my neighbors if they'd like me to take their recyclables... I don't want to do it alone, is the only thing -- I'd be happy to collect and drive them to the place if I had someone to do it with. I don't like interacting with strangers alone in a private place.

When shopping, I use bags that are made from recycled plastic bottles (which makes me want to cry in mingled joy and despair! we could USE these things instead of ruining the world with them!). If I forget the bags, I get only what I can carry. I ask for paper cups rather than plastic or styrofoam, but I still feel dreadful about that -- I NEED a good reusable coffeemug! I got one and then discovered that it will not hold 20 ounces. ... Okay, just went searching and bought a 20 oz ceramic mug even though it is pricey because I NEED to be more responsible.

I really want to find some way to do more. Maybe get over my fears and become a free recycling person for my neighbors, ack!
sounds: Fauxliage - All Alone | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , , , ,


back to top

belenen: (impish)
crazy mixed up randomnessssssssssssss!!!!
I feel FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

I've been dancy-dancy-dancy all day today and I really have no idea why but YAY and *rocks out to Róisín Murphy* Yesterday I sent out PRESENTS yay! I'm in the moooood to create, but everything seems too sedate! (oops rhyme!) *bounce bounce bounce* I discovered the most delicious sandwich today! Sprouted rye bread with turkey and havarti cheese and dill slices and dijon! it sounds like too many different strong tastes but thanks to my weird mood I tried it for breakfast (I don't have time associations for food) and was then like OMG YUM and had it for lunch too. hee hee!

OMG WHY AM I SO EXCITED???

but srsly, I've been thinking a LOT the past week about this upcoming year and I'm a teeny bit apprehensive because I'm like, how can it POSSIBLY be any more incredible than the past year? which means it would be less incredible -- but then, how likely is that? I mean, I know like 3457230572509725 times as much as I did last year and I have 234723587 more incredible friends and my love life is like 324097245072570 better than before because 1) closer to Nim and 2) AURILION, duh! Tryin' to figure out what I even want for this year... want to make goals (not resolutions!) and make thanks-in-advance!

Today is the full moon ♥

p.s. Callie is totally me, btw. *giggles* nothing is cuter (and hotter) than Callie flustered with being flirted with! am loving this storyline.

p.p.s. Lie To Me is FASCINATING.

p.p.p.s. bookmooch is fuckinawesome. (thanks for the accidental introduction Kat!)

p.p.p.p.s. Tell me what you're currently reading / listening to / creating!
sounds: Róisín Murphy - Body Language [*] | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: (impish)
crazy mixed up randomnessssssssssssss!!!!
I feel FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

I've been dancy-dancy-dancy all day today and I really have no idea why but YAY and *rocks out to Róisín Murphy* Yesterday I sent out PRESENTS yay! I'm in the moooood to create, but everything seems too sedate! (oops rhyme!) *bounce bounce bounce* I discovered the most delicious sandwich today! Sprouted rye bread with turkey and havarti cheese and dill slices and dijon! it sounds like too many different strong tastes but thanks to my weird mood I tried it for breakfast (I don't have time associations for food) and was then like OMG YUM and had it for lunch too. hee hee!

OMG WHY AM I SO EXCITED???

but srsly, I've been thinking a LOT the past week about this upcoming year and I'm a teeny bit apprehensive because I'm like, how can it POSSIBLY be any more incredible than the past year? which means it would be less incredible -- but then, how likely is that? I mean, I know like 3457230572509725 times as much as I did last year and I have 234723587 more incredible friends and my love life is like 324097245072570 better than before because 1) closer to Nim and 2) AURILION, duh! Tryin' to figure out what I even want for this year... want to make goals (not resolutions!) and make thanks-in-advance!

Today is the full moon ♥

p.s. Callie is totally me, btw. *giggles* nothing is cuter (and hotter) than Callie flustered with being flirted with! am loving this storyline.

p.p.s. Lie To Me is FASCINATING.

p.p.p.s. bookmooch is fuckinawesome. (thanks for the accidental introduction Kat!)

p.p.p.p.s. Tell me what you're currently reading / listening to / creating!
sounds: Róisín Murphy - Body Language [*] | Powered by Last.fm
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: (impish)
crazy mixed up randomnessssssssssssss!!!!
I feel FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

I've been dancy-dancy-dancy all day today and I really have no idea why but YAY and *rocks out to Róisín Murphy* Yesterday I sent out PRESENTS yay! I'm in the moooood to create, but everything seems too sedate! (oops rhyme!) *bounce bounce bounce* I discovered the most delicious sandwich today! Sprouted rye bread with turkey and havarti cheese and dill slices and dijon! it sounds like too many different strong tastes but thanks to my weird mood I tried it for breakfast (I don't have time associations for food) and was then like OMG YUM and had it for lunch too. hee hee!

OMG WHY AM I SO EXCITED???

but srsly, I've been thinking a LOT the past week about this upcoming year and I'm a teeny bit apprehensive because I'm like, how can it POSSIBLY be any more incredible than the past year? which means it would be less incredible -- but then, how likely is that? I mean, I know like 3457230572509725 times as much as I did last year and I have 234723587 more incredible friends and my love life is like 324097245072570 better than before because 1) closer to Nim and 2) AURILION, duh! Tryin' to figure out what I even want for this year... want to make goals (not resolutions!) and make thanks-in-advance!

Today is the full moon ♥

p.s. Callie is totally me, btw. *giggles* nothing is cuter (and hotter) than Callie flustered with being flirted with! am loving this storyline.

p.p.s. Lie To Me is FASCINATING.

p.p.p.s. bookmooch is fuckinawesome. (thanks for the accidental introduction Kat!)

p.p.p.p.s. Tell me what you're currently reading / listening to / creating!
sounds: Róisín Murphy - Body Language [*] | Powered by Last.fm
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belenen: (iconoclast)
why you should donate to No on 8, even if you don't live in California / GA maybe turning purple?
In California, this year's ballot contains a proposition which would outlaw same-sex marriage. I personally believe all marriage should be extra-legal, but since I have no chance of making that happen, I want it to at least be equal legally. I'm making a small donation ('cause I can't afford a larger one right now) to help keep same-sex marriage legal in CA.

One of my friends wrote an excellent piece on why you should donate to No on 8, even if you don't live in California. Please do check it out and donate if you are moved to -- the deadline is this Friday at midnight Pacific time. I'll quote the part that made me realize just how important this is: "California has 12% of the U.S. population. Massachusetts and Connecticut combined have 3% of the U.S. population. With a total of 15% of the U.S. population living in states where same-sex marriage is legal, we will have a vastly better chance of changing federal marriage laws as well than with only 3%."

In other news Georgia may turn purple this year. This excites me very much because I want Georgia to become a swing state :D I love balance ♥ (not to mention my vote & voice has more power in a swing state XD) And then there's the idea of being purple, haha.
sounds: Kate Havnevik -- "I Don't Know You"
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belenen: (iconoclast)
why you should donate to No on 8, even if you don't live in California / GA maybe turning purple?
In California, this year's ballot contains a proposition which would outlaw same-sex marriage. I personally believe all marriage should be extra-legal, but since I have no chance of making that happen, I want it to at least be equal legally. I'm making a small donation ('cause I can't afford a larger one right now) to help keep same-sex marriage legal in CA.

One of my friends wrote an excellent piece on why you should donate to No on 8, even if you don't live in California. Please do check it out and donate if you are moved to -- the deadline is this Friday at midnight Pacific time. I'll quote the part that made me realize just how important this is: "California has 12% of the U.S. population. Massachusetts and Connecticut combined have 3% of the U.S. population. With a total of 15% of the U.S. population living in states where same-sex marriage is legal, we will have a vastly better chance of changing federal marriage laws as well than with only 3%."

In other news Georgia may turn purple this year. This excites me very much because I want Georgia to become a swing state :D I love balance ♥ (not to mention my vote & voice has more power in a swing state XD) And then there's the idea of being purple, haha.
sounds: Kate Havnevik -- "I Don't Know You"
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belenen: (iconoclast)
why you should donate to No on 8, even if you don't live in California / GA maybe turning purple?
In California, this year's ballot contains a proposition which would outlaw same-sex marriage. I personally believe all marriage should be extra-legal, but since I have no chance of making that happen, I want it to at least be equal legally. I'm making a small donation ('cause I can't afford a larger one right now) to help keep same-sex marriage legal in CA.

One of my friends wrote an excellent piece on why you should donate to No on 8, even if you don't live in California. Please do check it out and donate if you are moved to -- the deadline is this Friday at midnight Pacific time. I'll quote the part that made me realize just how important this is: "California has 12% of the U.S. population. Massachusetts and Connecticut combined have 3% of the U.S. population. With a total of 15% of the U.S. population living in states where same-sex marriage is legal, we will have a vastly better chance of changing federal marriage laws as well than with only 3%."

In other news Georgia may turn purple this year. This excites me very much because I want Georgia to become a swing state :D I love balance ♥ (not to mention my vote & voice has more power in a swing state XD) And then there's the idea of being purple, haha.
sounds: Kate Havnevik -- "I Don't Know You"
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belenen: (christmassy)
Writer's Block: Personal Holidays / linkage
If you could create your own holiday, what would it be and how would you celebrate? )

It would be very like Christmas, but it would go by another name so that everyone would feel it belonged to them -- "Friendship Week." Everyone would give presents to the people they love, but instead of celebrating with biological family they'd celebrate with spiritual family and it would have to last all week because of all the parties. There would be billions of twinkle lights EVERYWHERE because that'd be a very important part of the tradition and people would wear wreaths of battery-powered twinkle lights on their heads instead of Santa hats. And the Friendship Week Tree would never be cut as that would be considered TERRIBLY bad luck -- instead people would buy a little potted tree and decorate it every winter, and plant it outside when it got too big and buy a new one. People would tell each other "You're my friend!" instead of "Merry ___" or "Happy ___." Instead of red & forest green, the traditional colors would be VIOLET and spring green. Instead of roasting turkey or pig, people would have raw nuts and fruits and veggies, because it would be bad luck to eat something dead (cooked) on Friendship Week (unless it was pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, or collards :D). And the traditional "I don't really know you" gift would be a potted plant (a new friend!) instead of sweets. (but there would still be sweets!)

aww, now I'm all nostalgic for something that doesn't exist. Oh well, Christmas comes close enough. I loooooooove Christmas so much!!!

Live in/near Portland, Oregon and want to adopt a sweet black kitty? (just in time for Holloween, heh) I wanted to take zir home but *sniff* too far away.

If you're in California, don't forget to vote no on Proposition 8, which would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. And encourage others to do the same. ;-)

and Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] demonista!!!
connecting:


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belenen: (christmassy)
Writer's Block: Personal Holidays / linkage
If you could create your own holiday, what would it be and how would you celebrate? )

It would be very like Christmas, but it would go by another name so that everyone would feel it belonged to them -- "Friendship Week." Everyone would give presents to the people they love, but instead of celebrating with biological family they'd celebrate with spiritual family and it would have to last all week because of all the parties. There would be billions of twinkle lights EVERYWHERE because that'd be a very important part of the tradition and people would wear wreaths of battery-powered twinkle lights on their heads instead of Santa hats. And the Friendship Week Tree would never be cut as that would be considered TERRIBLY bad luck -- instead people would buy a little potted tree and decorate it every winter, and plant it outside when it got too big and buy a new one. People would tell each other "You're my friend!" instead of "Merry ___" or "Happy ___." Instead of red & forest green, the traditional colors would be VIOLET and spring green. Instead of roasting turkey or pig, people would have raw nuts and fruits and veggies, because it would be bad luck to eat something dead (cooked) on Friendship Week (unless it was pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, or collards :D). And the traditional "I don't really know you" gift would be a potted plant (a new friend!) instead of sweets. (but there would still be sweets!)

aww, now I'm all nostalgic for something that doesn't exist. Oh well, Christmas comes close enough. I loooooooove Christmas so much!!!

Live in/near Portland, Oregon and want to adopt a sweet black kitty? (just in time for Holloween, heh) I wanted to take zir home but *sniff* too far away.

If you're in California, don't forget to vote no on Proposition 8, which would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. And encourage others to do the same. ;-)

and Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] demonista!!!
connecting:


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belenen: (christmassy)
Writer's Block: Personal Holidays / linkage
If you could create your own holiday, what would it be and how would you celebrate? )

It would be very like Christmas, but it would go by another name so that everyone would feel it belonged to them -- "Friendship Week." Everyone would give presents to the people they love, but instead of celebrating with biological family they'd celebrate with spiritual family and it would have to last all week because of all the parties. There would be billions of twinkle lights EVERYWHERE because that'd be a very important part of the tradition and people would wear wreaths of battery-powered twinkle lights on their heads instead of Santa hats. And the Friendship Week Tree would never be cut as that would be considered TERRIBLY bad luck -- instead people would buy a little potted tree and decorate it every winter, and plant it outside when it got too big and buy a new one. People would tell each other "You're my friend!" instead of "Merry ___" or "Happy ___." Instead of red & forest green, the traditional colors would be VIOLET and spring green. Instead of roasting turkey or pig, people would have raw nuts and fruits and veggies, because it would be bad luck to eat something dead (cooked) on Friendship Week (unless it was pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, or collards :D). And the traditional "I don't really know you" gift would be a potted plant (a new friend!) instead of sweets. (but there would still be sweets!)

aww, now I'm all nostalgic for something that doesn't exist. Oh well, Christmas comes close enough. I loooooooove Christmas so much!!!

Live in/near Portland, Oregon and want to adopt a sweet black kitty? (just in time for Holloween, heh) I wanted to take zir home but *sniff* too far away.

If you're in California, don't forget to vote no on Proposition 8, which would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. And encourage others to do the same. ;-)

and Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] demonista!!!
connecting:


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belenen: (bluestocking)
linkage: shelfari & last.fm
my shelfari library


If you don't have shelfari and you like to read/collect/sniff books, I heartily recommend that you get it! You can keep track of when you read books, how many times you've read them, which are your favorites, how you rate them, which ones you own or would like to own... fun! and I want to see all your libraries so I want you to do it :D

and of course if you don't have last.fm, you are missing out on the best music toy ever, so hurry on over and start tracking your music and creating your own radio! I had to go for a few months without my music library due to travel and computer issues, and my personal radio completely filled the gap for me. It's like pandora only about 834534573457 times better because of 1) unlimited skipping/banning and 2) a fully-blended personal station with suggestions that actually make sense (pandora was crap at predicting what I would like).
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belenen: (bluestocking)
linkage: shelfari & last.fm
my shelfari library


If you don't have shelfari and you like to read/collect/sniff books, I heartily recommend that you get it! You can keep track of when you read books, how many times you've read them, which are your favorites, how you rate them, which ones you own or would like to own... fun! and I want to see all your libraries so I want you to do it :D

and of course if you don't have last.fm, you are missing out on the best music toy ever, so hurry on over and start tracking your music and creating your own radio! I had to go for a few months without my music library due to travel and computer issues, and my personal radio completely filled the gap for me. It's like pandora only about 834534573457 times better because of 1) unlimited skipping/banning and 2) a fully-blended personal station with suggestions that actually make sense (pandora was crap at predicting what I would like).
connecting: , ,


back to top

belenen: (bluestocking)
linkage: shelfari & last.fm
my shelfari library


If you don't have shelfari and you like to read/collect/sniff books, I heartily recommend that you get it! You can keep track of when you read books, how many times you've read them, which are your favorites, how you rate them, which ones you own or would like to own... fun! and I want to see all your libraries so I want you to do it :D

and of course if you don't have last.fm, you are missing out on the best music toy ever, so hurry on over and start tracking your music and creating your own radio! I had to go for a few months without my music library due to travel and computer issues, and my personal radio completely filled the gap for me. It's like pandora only about 834534573457 times better because of 1) unlimited skipping/banning and 2) a fully-blended personal station with suggestions that actually make sense (pandora was crap at predicting what I would like).
connecting: , ,


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belenen: (giggling)
The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks
It may be more than a little "nerdy" that this "blog" makes me laugh until I cry and get hiccups. (I need an icon of crying laughter!) Sometimes the signs are merely "funny" and the "commentary" makes it fucking hilarious. *keels over*
connecting:


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belenen: (giggling)
The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks
It may be more than a little "nerdy" that this "blog" makes me laugh until I cry and get hiccups. (I need an icon of crying laughter!) Sometimes the signs are merely "funny" and the "commentary" makes it fucking hilarious. *keels over*
connecting:


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belenen: (giggling)
The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks
It may be more than a little "nerdy" that this "blog" makes me laugh until I cry and get hiccups. (I need an icon of crying laughter!) Sometimes the signs are merely "funny" and the "commentary" makes it fucking hilarious. *keels over*
connecting:


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belenen: (shimmering)
updated important posts list
I updated my important posts list on my userinfo! Some of the posts are really old, but the majority of them were made in the last 12 months -- which I think says a lot about my current rate of growth, heh. Here 'tis:

··································· ···································
· main characters in the story of my life (needs updating...) ·
· identity: my self-labels and my definitions of them ·
· parts of a person -- spirit, heart, soul, mind, and body ·
· bisexuality is a stable and legitimate sexual preference ·
· concept of sex as a spiritual exchange, polyamory ·
· my decision to use genderfree language ·
· discussing genderfree language ·
· polyamory -- how I choose my lovers ·
· on use of the word 'rape' & 'curse words' ·
· the bel survey -- my answers & tell me about you! ·
· LJ journey to openness & honesty; my love for nudity ·
· the difference between openness and honesty ·
· about artistic nude modeling ·
· open-mindedness ·
· love & affection ·
· soulfriendship ·
· misunderstandings ·
· on vanity weight loss ·
· expressing pain vs. complaining ·
· on talking about a person behind zir back ·
··································· ···································



















Also, if you're new-ish to my LJ or you want to check out the posts which are most important to me (this list doesn't include most of my spirituality posts because they build on each other too much for that), here's a helpful tag: the essential belenen collection :D


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belenen: (shimmering)
updated important posts list
I updated my important posts list on my userinfo! Some of the posts are really old, but the majority of them were made in the last 12 months -- which I think says a lot about my current rate of growth, heh. Here 'tis:

··································· ···································
· main characters in the story of my life (needs updating...) ·
· identity: my self-labels and my definitions of them ·
· parts of a person -- spirit, heart, soul, mind, and body ·
· bisexuality is a stable and legitimate sexual preference ·
· concept of sex as a spiritual exchange, polyamory ·
· my decision to use genderfree language ·
· discussing genderfree language ·
· polyamory -- how I choose my lovers ·
· on use of the word 'rape' & 'curse words' ·
· the bel survey -- my answers & tell me about you! ·
· LJ journey to openness & honesty; my love for nudity ·
· the difference between openness and honesty ·
· about artistic nude modeling ·
· open-mindedness ·
· love & affection ·
· soulfriendship ·
· misunderstandings ·
· on vanity weight loss ·
· expressing pain vs. complaining ·
· on talking about a person behind zir back ·
··································· ···································



















Also, if you're new-ish to my LJ or you want to check out the posts which are most important to me (this list doesn't include most of my spirituality posts because they build on each other too much for that), here's a helpful tag: the essential belenen collection :D


back to top

belenen: (shimmering)
updated important posts list
I updated my important posts list on my userinfo! Some of the posts are really old, but the majority of them were made in the last 12 months -- which I think says a lot about my current rate of growth, heh. Here 'tis:

··································· ···································
· main characters in the story of my life (needs updating...) ·
· identity: my self-labels and my definitions of them ·
· parts of a person -- spirit, heart, soul, mind, and body ·
· bisexuality is a stable and legitimate sexual preference ·
· concept of sex as a spiritual exchange, polyamory ·
· my decision to use genderfree language ·
· discussing genderfree language ·
· polyamory -- how I choose my lovers ·
· on use of the word 'rape' & 'curse words' ·
· the bel survey -- my answers & tell me about you! ·
· LJ journey to openness & honesty; my love for nudity ·
· the difference between openness and honesty ·
· about artistic nude modeling ·
· open-mindedness ·
· love & affection ·
· soulfriendship ·
· misunderstandings ·
· on vanity weight loss ·
· expressing pain vs. complaining ·
· on talking about a person behind zir back ·
··································· ···································



















Also, if you're new-ish to my LJ or you want to check out the posts which are most important to me (this list doesn't include most of my spirituality posts because they build on each other too much for that), here's a helpful tag: the essential belenen collection :D


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